Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So a good friend of mine/former co-worker (or ex-friend now I guess) recently lost her job and she didn't see it coming. She missed half of our scheduled working days last year, and about half of her days this year due to a number of illnesses she has. Whenever she was absent, I made sure her lesson plans were copied and taken care of as well as checking in on the classes periodically to make sure the kids weren't swinging from the rafters. Sometimes she would call off ahead of time, and then there were times in which she called off at the last minute. I knew that administration wasn't always happy with the fact that she called off at the last minute, but I constantly rallied in her favor because when she was present, she was an excellent teacher. Unfortunately she continued to call off at the last minute and sometimes she would be gone for more than a week at a time. As a result, the administrators had decided they had enough and let her go. Obviously when she found out the news she was extremely upset and I wanted to make sure that I was there for her. I tried to go and talk to her after they had given her the bad news and she said she didn't want to talk that day, which I understood. I just sent her a couple texts over the next couple of days to encourage and support her. She never responded to my messages and then a couple days later she sent me the following text, "I'm not ready to talk about things right now. You've always seemed to be a good friend and perhaps our paths will cross again one day."
I was shocked and confused by the message. I did respond and wished her the best of luck. I couldn't understand why she was pushing me away, but then I found out that she was talking about me to another co-worker and she believed I was responsible for her losing her job (which I wasn't). She told someone else that she was angry by my response to her and it "confirmed to her that I was part of whatever took place to make her lose her job." When I found out she was bad-mouthing me to different people I decided to text her and let her know that I was only trying to be her friend and I would never do anything to put her in harm's way. She then apologized and said she wasn't mad at me, just upset that she didn't get to "say goodbye" to the kids. After I confronted her and she apologized, she then went on to text and email me asking if I wanted to hang out with her soon and chat and catch up what was happening with her, etc. I admit I was surprised that she wanted to act like things were perfectly normal so quickly, but I thought "Okay, I could just forgive her and let the other stuff go." She kept texting and emailing over the next few days and I would just partake in the small talk since she was the one who was still initiating contact. I actually hadn't planned on contacting her anymore after I initially confronted her, but she kept contacting me as if nothing had ever happened telling me over and over that "we're good."
It was then all of a sudden a week after we had been chatting again that she abruptly ended contact, and that's what had me confused for a few days. She blocked me completely on Facebook and stopped responding the the couple of texts I had sent to her. I tried to figure out what she thought I'd done this time, but honestly I have no idea why she cut me off again. She told one of my co-workers/team members that she was "the only one who cared anything about her". I suppose I'm hurt and resentful because I never expected a thank you or anything from her for everything I did to help, I just thought I had a true friend that I had became close to. I usually get along with everyone, but I'm very cautious about opening up to people and making new friends. I've started making peace with the situation but I'm still struggling with my feelings from time to time because we had became close outside of work as well as being close to each other's families. I'm tired of people asking about it at work (it's huge fodder for the gossip mill) and I'm tired of saying I don't want to talk about it anymore, she's still emailing back and forth with the kids during the school day and causing them to be distracted during classes, and I just simply wish I could finally let go of my hurt and frustration once and for all. She also keeps showing up after school in the parking lot to give various gifts to the students she didn't get to say goodbye to after she said she wouldn't come back up there anymore. I know she's being irrational about this and I know I didn't do anything wrong. Each time I think I have moved past it something else happens to remind me of it and irritate me all over again.
She needed to blame someone besides herself, and she chose you. Missing that much work time is not acceptable, and it should be plainly obvious to a teacher! My guess is that she has some mental health or addiction issue since they are experts at playing the victim and blaming. As irritating and maddening as it is, it is also pathetic in a way. Maybe try just viewing her as "sick", which she is. Sorry you're being treated so unfairly, it's hard to go through.
ps Does your Principal know about her emailing and meeting students? Very unprofessional!
She needed to blame someone besides herself, and she chose you. Missing that much work time is not acceptable, and it should be plainly obvious to a teacher! My guess is that she has some mental health or addiction issue since they are experts at playing the victim and blaming. As irritating and maddening as it is, it is also pathetic in a way. Maybe try just viewing her as "sick", which she is. Sorry you're being treated so unfairly, it's hard to go through.
ps Does your Principal know about her emailing and meeting students? Very unprofessional!
Yes the administrators are aware of what she has been doing and it has been handled. When a co-worker who still speaks with her told her that she needs to stop contacting the students, she said she didn't understand why since she was saying or doing anything "inappropriate".
Yes the administrators are aware of what she has been doing and it has been handled. When a co-worker who still speaks with her told her that she needs to stop contacting the students, she said she didn't understand why since she was saying or doing anything "inappropriate".
She has many blind spots when it comes to her own actions, doesn't she?
She has many blind spots when it comes to her own actions, doesn't she?
Yes she does. She has even told people that she doesn't think her being ousted has anything to do with her attendance record. Instead of her really assessing the situation, she makes illogical conclusions and rationalizes all of her actions and decisions. As far as contacting the students is concerned, she said that she didn't get to say goodbye to them so she wanted to make sure she had a chance to do so.
Maybe contact with you would envelop too many feelings of the failure of losing her job, and provide too many reminders of her failure and loss. She might also be embarrassed by her failure and how it occurred.
So a good friend of mine/former co-worker (or ex-friend now I guess) recently lost her job and she didn't see it coming. She missed half of our scheduled working days last year, and about half of her days this year due to a number of illnesses she has. Whenever she was absent, I made sure her lesson plans were copied and taken care of as well as checking in on the classes periodically to make sure the kids weren't swinging from the rafters. Sometimes she would call off ahead of time, and then there were times in which she called off at the last minute. I knew that administration wasn't always happy with the fact that she called off at the last minute, but I constantly rallied in her favor because when she was present, she was an excellent teacher. Unfortunately she continued to call off at the last minute and sometimes she would be gone for more than a week at a time. As a result, the administrators had decided they had enough and let her go. Obviously when she found out the news she was extremely upset and I wanted to make sure that I was there for her. I tried to go and talk to her after they had given her the bad news and she said she didn't want to talk that day, which I understood. I just sent her a couple texts over the next couple of days to encourage and support her. She never responded to my messages and then a couple days later she sent me the following text, "I'm not ready to talk about things right now. You've always seemed to be a good friend and perhaps our paths will cross again one day."
I was shocked and confused by the message. I did respond and wished her the best of luck. I couldn't understand why she was pushing me away, but then I found out that she was talking about me to another co-worker and she believed I was responsible for her losing her job (which I wasn't). She told someone else that she was angry by my response to her and it "confirmed to her that I was part of whatever took place to make her lose her job." When I found out she was bad-mouthing me to different people I decided to text her and let her know that I was only trying to be her friend and I would never do anything to put her in harm's way. She then apologized and said she wasn't mad at me, just upset that she didn't get to "say goodbye" to the kids. After I confronted her and she apologized, she then went on to text and email me asking if I wanted to hang out with her soon and chat and catch up what was happening with her, etc. I admit I was surprised that she wanted to act like things were perfectly normal so quickly, but I thought "Okay, I could just forgive her and let the other stuff go." She kept texting and emailing over the next few days and I would just partake in the small talk since she was the one who was still initiating contact. I actually hadn't planned on contacting her anymore after I initially confronted her, but she kept contacting me as if nothing had ever happened telling me over and over that "we're good."
It was then all of a sudden a week after we had been chatting again that she abruptly ended contact, and that's what had me confused for a few days. She blocked me completely on Facebook and stopped responding the the couple of texts I had sent to her. I tried to figure out what she thought I'd done this time, but honestly I have no idea why she cut me off again. She told one of my co-workers/team members that she was "the only one who cared anything about her". I suppose I'm hurt and resentful because I never expected a thank you or anything from her for everything I did to help, I just thought I had a true friend that I had became close to. I usually get along with everyone, but I'm very cautious about opening up to people and making new friends. I've started making peace with the situation but I'm still struggling with my feelings from time to time because we had became close outside of work as well as being close to each other's families. I'm tired of people asking about it at work (it's huge fodder for the gossip mill) and I'm tired of saying I don't want to talk about it anymore, she's still emailing back and forth with the kids during the school day and causing them to be distracted during classes, and I just simply wish I could finally let go of my hurt and frustration once and for all. She also keeps showing up after school in the parking lot to give various gifts to the students she didn't get to say goodbye to after she said she wouldn't come back up there anymore. I know she's being irrational about this and I know I didn't do anything wrong. Each time I think I have moved past it something else happens to remind me of it and irritate me all over again.
I'm sorry....But I cannot take any of your post seriously. I am finding the fact that you are telling us that you covered for this absent teacher/friend to that extreme, and that you were both shocked that she was dismissed??
And, after being fired that she is still showing up at the school and emailing these past students unbeknownst to the Admin.... and your concerns are whether she is dissing you?
I am not trying to be mean, but I certainly hope that this is a joke???
I'm sorry....But I cannot take any of your post seriously. I am finding the fact that you are telling us that you covered for this absent teacher/friend to that extreme, and that you were both shocked that she was dismissed??
And, after being fired that she is still showing up at the school and emailing these past students unbeknownst to the Admin.... and your concerns are whether she is dissing you?
I am not trying to be mean, but I certainly hope that this is a joke???
I never said that I was shocked that she was dismissed. I said that she was shocked and she acted as if she didn't know why she was being let go. I know exactly why she was let go. I was just shocked at all her of her behavior, her acting silly towards me, the behavior with contacting the students, etc. Prior to this mess I knew she had a few issues, but I never dreamed it would be taken to this level. I'm not being overly concerned about her dissing me, I'm just tired of the entire situation and people at work wanting to ask me questions about it. It just seems like it's never going to die down. I'm sorry that you feel this post is a joke,but I don't have a reason to make it up. Sometimes things can happen that sound crazy, but nonetheless they do tend to happen.
And the administration has been made aware of her contacting the students and it has been handled.
Last edited by shaws17; 01-02-2018 at 07:02 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
