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Anyone who has had the opportunity to review any of the TED talks? One episode had its theme on lying and deception. Quite informative.
Some sayings such as: it's your lie tell it how you like! , " don't wet on my leg and tell me it's raining", "a truth from a liar is still the truth".
I've no doubt I've lied in my life time. Sometimes knowingly and other times from believing a source of data that would later be proven untrue.
A boss of mine learned his sales skills by being elusive enough to intrigue the customer.. While ignoring the "catch" of deal. Such as penalties in late pays or third party warranty conditions. Warranties alone are filled with implied lies..
Funny argument I had with a co worker.. A guest comes to the hotel desk.. Co worker prints out the directions . I interceded and said. sir, those streets are correct .. Only one problem, they are digging up a water main so you won't be able to take that route. My co worker afterwards said, he asked for directions ! Why did you have to make me look like a fool! He would have seen the signs. I politely said.. his name wasn't Noah so I thought he'd fair well on saving time and getting to his apptment. Both of us technically gave information.. Neither of us lied.. Yet one was more helpful for the persons goal .
I know I lied a lot in my active alcoholism, I try to be as honest and forthcoming as I can be in my sobriety..
I was only kidding myself anyway, people knew 99.9% of the time I was not being truthful..
Is there a difference between telling a lie and simply omitting the truth?
There is... I think that in many situations omitting the truth is worse because it usually is in response to a direct question related to the suspicion of a lie. Comes off as disrespectful when someone does that because you can tell they are doing it on the spot more often than with straight out lies.
Pro-social lies and etiquette lies are necessary and mandated by society. We are expected to lie or to deceive on occasion in order to be polite, appropriate, or tactful. It would be virtually impossible for anyone to function well socially and not, at least occasionally, tell a white lie or a half-truth, or to be deceptive in some way.
Remember, we can lie even without speaking a word. We lie when we fake an emotion, we lie when we wear an artificial smile, and we lie when our outward persona and behavior does not align with our inner thoughts and feelings.
Pro-social lies and etiquette lies are necessary and mandated by society. We are expected to lie or to deceive on occasion in order to be polite, appropriate, or tactful. It would be virtually impossible for anyone to function well socially and not, at least occasionally, tell a white lie or a half-truth, or to be deceptive in some way.
Remember, we can lie even without speaking a word. We lie when we fake an emotion, we lie when we wear an artificial smile, and we lie when our outward persona and behavior does not align with our inner thoughts and feelings.
I'd say 99% of the population does these things.
Very insightful. I mean that.......really........no damn it.....I'm being honest. I really liked what you wrote........Oh I give up.
My mom has asked me what I think of her haircut and I tell her I don't really like it so she knows I don't think short hair looks good.
On the other hand some of my online friends have admired Taylor Swift and because I dislike her I just avoid the conversations about her. That's the only way I ever get any by but you can't always do that in life so it's very frustrating.
I just don't usually answer the clerk when they ask me that because I know that they don't want to know but it feels weird saying fine. At best if I have to answer someone like that I always tack on "I guess" after okay because you could say that's how it is as I'm fine compared to how I usually am. It was annoying one time because a nurse asked me how I was doing and I didn't answer her so she asked again so I had to tell her no I'm not doing good.
Yeah it's a natural thing. On the rare occasion I have lied my brain knows its a lie so it won't let me do it because it won't let me believe in it. Even if on the blue moon occasion, I was able to tell a successful lie I wouldn't be able to keep up with it. After my poor but lucky attempt at lying, I would be sitting wondering when it will come back to bite me.
The kind of lying you are talking about should not be coming back to bite you. The stuff that bites you is the lie about something you didn't do but should have. Or a lie about liking some sort of food that you end up having to eat, even though you hate it. Or, a lie about an accomplishment you say have. White lies are sometimes necessary to grease the wheel of life. You can tell the clerk "fine" without feeling remorse. She doesn't really want to know about your troubles. You have spared her, really. You can tell your mom that you liked another haircut better, or that you like cuts that frame her face, or something like that.
I can't remember if you are the person who posted that you are brutally frank. Well, if the truth is truly brutal, then learn to couch it in sensitivity. That's my advice.
I've never told a lie. I've never had any need to. That's because people respect me even when I'm rude to them. And that's because I'm rich. I have millions of dollars in the bank and two very fancy cars that had 6-figure price tags. (I negotiated one of them down to five figures, but the other one was mid six figures, so it couldn't be negotiated down that much.) I also have very nice condos in San Diego and Honolulu. Both are high in tall buildings and face the ocean. Having all this visible wealth is why people respect me even when I seem too frank. And that's why I've never lied nor had any need to.
For those who claim they never lie, are you really saying you have NEVER said any of these things to anyone?
"I'm fine."
"That food was great."
"My phone died."
"I was too busy to do . . ."
"You gained weight? I didn't notice."
"That outfit/haircut looks great on you!"
"It's not you, it's me."
"No Officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over."
"I'll be happy to help you with your issue/problem!"
"I'm sorry."
"I weigh ____ pounds. (Conversely, I am ____ years old)."
For those who claim they never lie, are you really saying you have NEVER said any of these things to anyone?
"I'm fine."
"That food was great."
"My phone died."
"I was too busy to do . . ."
"You gained weight? I didn't notice."
"That outfit/haircut looks great on you!"
"It's not you, it's me."
"No Officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over."
"I'll be happy to help you with your issue/problem!"
"I'm sorry."
"I weigh ____ pounds. (Conversely, I am ____ years old)."
"What a cute baby!"
"I make $XXX,XXX/year."
"I love my job!"
"I wasn't checking him/her out." Etc. . .
Never. I've never told the slightest lie. Not even a little white lie. And I didn't even tell the teacher my dog ate my homework. And I've also never done anything stupid. Not even the slightest bit stupid. And I've always been very polite to everyone. And when I was a little kid, I always gave my allowance to charity. And I never tried to steal any candy, even when I wasn't old enough to know the difference between stealing and eating candy. And I always take my mother to a fancy restaurant for Mother's Day, even though she's 110 years old. And I always help old people cross the street, even if I have to park my $500,000 car to help them. And I always spend holidays helping at homeless shelters and soup kitchens. And I always give half of my income to charity. And I've never been stopped for speeding, even though I sometimes go 130 MPH. That's all true, because, why would I lie in a thread about lying?
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