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My fear of aging goes back all the way to my teen years. It's mostly driven by fear of not accomplishing or experiencing what society says that somebody my age should have experienced. I am currently 32 and these were my most difficult birthdays.
20 - It wasn't easy to let go of my teen years. I really didn't feel ready for this birthday when it arrived.
26 - This one was quite difficult because I was no longer in that 18-25 "college aged" bracket. In fact, my desire to preserve my youth around this time led indirectly to some very poor decisions.
32 - Believe it or not, 30 wasn't too bad. My life was actually improving substantially around that time compared to what it had been the previous two years and I was quite optimistic. I still looked and felt in my twenties anyways so what did it really matter? 31 also wasn't that bad. It's just one year above 30. This most recent birthday however (32) has been quite difficult as I really feel my youth slipping away. I am starting to re-evaluate my perspective on certain things in my life.
My fear of aging goes back all the way to my teen years. It's mostly driven by fear of not accomplishing or experiencing what society says that somebody my age should have experienced. I am currently 32 and these were my most difficult birthdays.
Here are my most difficult birthdays.
20 - This birthday meant I was no longer a "teen". While that's not a bad thing, I was a still a virgin , which made me ashamed of turning 20 in that state. At the same time, legally drinking was still a year away. Thankfully, the first issue was resolved by a lucky encounter , when I attended a party at another college. I spent the rest of that weekend in a daze.
29 - This year felt like my last hurrah before hitting the big three-zero. I had many exciting plans to really celebrate that year---a la "Summer of George" in "Seinfeld"---like vacations, clubbing, etc. You know, get it all out of my system, before I'm expected to give up my youth and settle down. None of it materialized . The year came and went uneventfully. I took a fun cruise a couple years later, but it wasn't the same.
34 - Since the life expectancy in the US is 78 years, I was hit by a realization that I my middle age had finally come . (Not the same as the exact middle of life.) Then there's our society's pervasive expectation for people my age to settle down and stop doing enjoyable things. So it wasn't a pleasant birthday in the slightest.
It's mostly driven by fear of not accomplishing or experiencing what society says that somebody my age should have experienced.
What do you think society feels one should accomplish at certain ages? I've never had that feeling myself and sometimes I go against the grain, but society can be boring. I would be proud that you're unique. If everyone in society accomplished the same at the same time, the world would be a boring place.
I'm turning 40 in just a couple weeks, and it's been especially difficult. My first milestone without my parents (they passed), not a lot of other family and my friends are not the close kind (with exception of husband and pets). However, I'm saddled with not enough energy at the end of the day to do much about it. I traveled when I was younger, I'm educated, I work out and eat healthy, very healthy weight, but I can't do what I used to when I was younger. It's a big deal anymore to go to the city, sporting event, concert. Etc. Not unhealthy, but it seems all my energy is sapped from just the bare minimum of working out, working, and maintaining a household! I'm able to hike, bike, and walk...but then I am spent! I'm not even going to get into that one glass of wine gives me a hangover! This never happened when I was younger, things change, people change, and you realize that your physical resources are so limited. It sounds so good to get out in thepry, but then 7pm comes, and so does the lazy lack of energy! That is why 40 is hard, from what I hear it doesn't get any better!
I've never feared death but have been mindful of the fact that the average age at death for men in my family live is 71. My father and his father, my grandfather, both died at precisely that age. While my wife lived I was a bit concerned that it could be my fate when I reached it. Sadly, she passed away just months ago and I turned 71 just weeks ago. I no longer worry about leaving her so if I follow the family trend, bring it on. I'm not courting it but I don't fear it.
70 was my only truly traumatic birthday. It just seemed totally outrageous, unthinkable, incredible, and horrendous that I could be 70. I thought I would probably die in my sleep or something the night before my birthday. But no, life goes on. I am now 73 and I have largely gotten over being traumatized by it. Nothing changed, really. I didn't all of a sudden become disabled or senile. In fact, I didn't even gradually become disabled or senile. But there was something about 70 that was just truly upsetting.
Honestly, once I got older and let go of all of the preconceived ideas of what I should do with my potential - I finally relaxed.
And once I got over needing a relationship, I could get over worrying about how I looked.
Life just gets better, honestly, once you get over all of the above.
For me, and I was very attractive until I hit about 50 (but dirty old men will still hit on me), it's been such a relief to be able to just go about my business every day without being hit on constantly, or stared at by lustful people, or jealous women, etc. Life is just so much simpler and easier when all of that sexual energy is no longer front and center everywhere I go.
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, which made me ashamed of turning 20 in that state. At the same time, legally drinking was still a year away. Thankfully, the first issue was resolved by a lucky encounter 
, when I attended a party at another college. I spent the rest of that weekend in a daze.
. The year came and went uneventfully. I took a fun cruise a couple years later, but it wasn't the same.
. (Not the same as the exact middle of life.) Then there's our society's pervasive expectation for people my age to settle down and stop doing enjoyable things. So it wasn't a pleasant birthday in the slightest.
