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I can say without batting an eyelash that if we ever had kids which won't happen now he got vasectomy. But I can say, I would never do what these women did using kids as pawn. I also told him that actually.
Never will I do that. I CARE about kids' well being first and foremost which I can't say the same for these women that did it to my husband and my bros.
It is SELFISH.
I totally agree. As a senior citizen with no children having children now would be a disaster. If I ever dated a fertile woman and it looked like it could become serious I too would have a vasectomy. Of course I would discuss it with her first. Not the kind of decision you make without discussing it with your mate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by asianrocker
LOL thanks, that poster is just out to get me for some reason. You are not her, LLC? I hope. And FYI, I have no issues.
Don't take forums too seriously. A lot of people post because they have an agenda or are "drama queens" irrespective of gender, posting to get attention. Attention {word I can't post, plural}.
You have to understand that many post because they like the attention. Myself, I like to make my reputation on good, well thought out posts with intelligent comments and good advice. I feel that I am succeeding to some degree.
And I pride myself on always admitting when I am wrong, and always providing an apology when I have accidentally overstepped myself. Search my posts and you will find my apologies. There is nothing better than an apology to clear the air and put to rest bad feelings and animosity.
For the record I have only one forum account. If I ever get a second account it will be the day I quit posting on my current account forever. I sometimes feel that I have posted too much personal information. It can become uncomfortable when you hand out such huge chunks of your deepest personal feelings.
Unfortunately I don't know how that even happen and yes it really is saying something about him. I live in the now and he treats me right.
So I don't know what to tell you. Why you keep telling me to stop anyway? LOL. I am replying to my thread posters. WTF.
Because you have several threads running where your obsession with this ex wife of your husband's is obvious. And I'm not the only person recommending that you leave this whole subject and the woman alone.
I can say without batting an eyelash that if we ever had kids which won't happen now he got vasectomy. But I can say, I would never do what these women did using kids as pawn. I also told him that actually.
Never will I do that. I CARE about kids' well being first and foremost which I can't say the same for these women that did it to my husband and my bros.
It is SELFISH.
Your husband gave up his only child for adoption and then got a vasectomy. And you're saying the ex wife is the one who doesn't care about kids?
OP: Why are you so concerned with things that happened before you came along and that are none of your business?
The papers you found do not tell the entire story of what happened, they only tell the story necessary to get things done in a timely manner legally.
Two threads on the same issue? Please find a new hobby and seek professional guidance to help squash your curiosity into thngs of the past that are none of your business.
This is my take on it. I think Whoopie Goldberg said something the same. She is talking about a victim of domestic violence too. If you don't want to get hit, maybe then don't give them a reason to or something like that. I found the quote:
“If you make the choice as a woman who’s four foot three and you decide to hit a guy who’s six feet tall and you’re the last thing he wants to deal with that day and he hits you back, you cannot be surprised!”
I agree with the statement in that, I don't like anything physical when I argue with my husband? When he says, stop. I stop first and foremost it's coz I don't want to escalate the verbal argument to physical. I stop it even before it happens, is my point.
I just have a very good self control on my anger. And I just know when to stop and how to avoid physical altercation. Result? I've never been to any. Well maybe except when I was in 4th grade but I was the 'abuser' on that one.
No, no, no, and OH HELL NO, no man should EVER lay a hand on a woman. EVER. For any reason. Regardless of what Whoopie Goldberg says.
I've had serious arguments with men and never ever did I fear it would turn physical. It wouldn't. I didn't date or marry men who abuse women.
Why did you marry an abuser? And you blame others for their abuse?
If you live in fear that your mate may strike or abuse you and your only defense is self control that you recognize he is bigger and hits harder than you, then IMO you are in the wrong relationship.
I am a man but I cannot imagine a woman being content in a relationship where she feels that somehow he will not strike or abuse her based upon her "correct" or "proper" behavior.
You are in the wrong relationship if you could imagine any circumstance ever that your man would hit you or otherwise abuse you.
That behavior is definitely pathological.
Exactly! Her husband's first wife divorced him because he abused her. Now the OP is afraid he get physical with her and she's probably right. She's in a bad relationship with a man who hits women. Eventually he'll decide she crossed some imaginary line and he'll hit her too. Most men would never, ever, strike a woman and the others are like her husband. If provoked, they hit. It's awful.
If one man strikes another man, and that second man knocks out the first one, that is considered self defense.
Now insert a female into the equation. A woman strikes a man, the man defends himself by pushing her away or even striking her back. It is not self defense but abuse.
That is messed up.
I thought women wanted to be considered equally?
Two men may be of equal size and strength! A man and a woman are very rarely the same size and strength so men cannot, and should not, ever hit a woman. period.
It just really reads like you're tempting fate by acting as if you are immune to violence because you supposedly know how to stave off attacks because you can "control your anger." It basically implies that domestic violence victims were asking for it. It's a naive, twisted way of thinking.
And if it's about your husband's ex, it's even more messed up.
THAT is totally messed up! No one ever asks to be hit!
Sorry to hear. But are you saying your rescuer also became your abuser? I hope you are okay. I have no abuse history nor any of my family fortunately.
But your story/scenario is very different from this woman. Does an abuse victim give a noose to her abuser telling him to kill himself? Because her abuser is crying 24/7 begging her not to divorce?
Is that a behavior of an abused victim? OR an abuser?
Yup. Abusers are always so very, very, sorry. They promise through their tears to never, ever, do it again, but eventually they always do. They often buy expensive gifts for their victim after they've abused her.
Obviously you and your husband like drama. You moved in and out several times. You married an abuser, and eventually he will revert to type. Get out now.
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I also told him that actually.
. You are not her, LLC? I hope
. And FYI, I have no issues.
