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So this is a totally odd situation. I'm on Nutrisystem, which is actually fairly high quality food with minimal sodium and preservatives. I've been supplementing with veggies when I can. Basically, this diet is saving me money (few groceries, no eating out), calories and freeing up huge amounts of time (no grocery shopping, no cooking or cleaning up after I cook for the most part). But I realized that right around the time I started on Nutrisystem, my anxiety levels went through the roof. Part of it has to do with unpacking some crazy stuff in therapy, but the other part of it is that I cannot self-soothe with food. Previously, I'd get really stressed out and head right out for a fat/sugar/sodium bomb from the nearest fast-food outlet. Didn't matter what it was, as long as it hit those pleasure receptors.
I've quit fast food before, but I'd always have some junk food I could acess, be it a pint of ice cream or a bag of baked potato chips or cheese and crackers. Right now, I'm strictly sticking to the Nutrisystem food and adding in veggie soups and salads. Yesterday, I ate a ginormous plate of mushrooms I'd cooked up with just a spray of coconut oil.
But my anxiety is out of control right now, and I'm going to go to the doctor to see if I should start up with the Zoloft again or get a Xanax prescription. Also going to start running again - though I'm not sure I should since I've had a hard time healing after spraining my ankle in November. Running is a sort of meditative act for me, though, so I"m hoping it will work.
Just something I realized today and found interesting. I have a total of 50 pounds to lose (down to about 40 now), and that alone is hard. Losing that weight while my anxiety is erupting on a daily basis is purely brutal. But the Nutrisystem program seems the most likely one for success given my history with weight loss, and I do like the free time and money saved.
I find it stressful only if it involves significantly more financial outlay, or excessive shopping around to multiple retailers.
I get that. Grocery shopping actually is enjoyable for me but not for a lot of people. When I'm having an anxiety attack, one of the ways I settle my brain is to imagine grocery shopping. :P
However, the time I have now that I only go through the produce aisle and don't spend much time cooking is kind of coming as a shock - I need to embrace that and make use of the extra time. It also really just surprised me how much of the eating I do is "self-medication" - I have been thinking about this, and I am close to deciding that I will give myself a "treat" every week on the weekends within certain parameters regarding amount of calories, type of food, etc. I realize that I'm "self-medicating" through food, but I'm past the detox stage (it's been 3 weeks) and I don't want to be miserable the entire time. If the occasional trip through the drive-thru means I won't be freaking out as much over things I can't control during the week, it's worth it.
It's all stuff I need to discuss with the therapist and the life coach though. Just these constant waves of anxiety over stupid little things are really emotionally exhausting.
I totally agree with all this. Dieting is really stressful mentally. Sugar fat and sodium is sedating. Ever have a big meal and need a nap afterward? See? Without that, all the stressful thoughts are front and center. For me, life is stressful. At the end of the day, in the evenings mostly when I know I've gotten through another day and I have a few hours to myself, that's when I want to unwind and usually overeat. If I could just get past that...
But I always thought Nutrisystem was expensive. Aren't you spending a lot of money on that?
I'm struggling a bit, too. Not because I need to lose weight, necessarily, but I need to get control of my diabetes and high blood pressure.
What really sucks is, I have to try to manage sodium at the same time I'm managing carbs. No fun.
However, what I have found is that simple walking suffices as good exercise for me. I'm walking at least two miles per day and, so far, have only missed one walk in the past three weeks (it does rain, ya know!). So, I would encourage you to walk if you can't run. If you have a smartphone with GPS, it's nice to be able to record your efforts and provide a goal to reach daily.
In addition, my doctor has recommended some strength training. It helps burn more calories, consistently, over the course of the day and helps to better manage my blood sugar levels. (BTW, maintaining proper blood sugar levels are MORE important for weight loss than calories. If your blood sugar is too high, your body stores food instead of burning it. But that's a different topic).
IMO, using a system like Nutrisystem is okay to kick-start you towards your goal, but I would suggest taking ownership of your food intake instead letting someone else do it. Find a nutritionist or someone who can guide you while you are working towards your goal. After all, you shouldn't stay on Nutrisystem forever, right? When you reach your goal, what will you do then?
I think this makes perfect sense. You are stressed because you took away your own coping mechanism. Definitely go see a doctor and see if there is something that can treat your anxiety disorder without calories. That is the first step. Then experiment with different exercise as well, even a walk to start. GL!
unpacking some crazy stuff in therapy
...
I cannot self-soothe with food
In my opinion, it's hard to do more than one self-healing activity at once. Your mental state is much more important than your body's health at this point.
I totally agree with all this. Dieting is really stressful mentally. Sugar fat and sodium is sedating. Ever have a big meal and need a nap afterward? See? Without that, all the stressful thoughts are front and center. For me, life is stressful. At the end of the day, in the evenings mostly when I know I've gotten through another day and I have a few hours to myself, that's when I want to unwind and usually overeat. If I could just get past that...
But I always thought Nutrisystem was expensive. Aren't you spending a lot of money on that?
Well, I work from home and also love to cook. So I would go grocery shopping and then I'd also go out, and lots of food would go to waste. So right now, I'm spending about $350 a month on food - $300 on the Nutrisystem foods and about $50 on produce like greens, citrus and other veggies. I used to spend far more going out for fast food, buying groceries that often went uncooked and socializing. So Nutrisystem is saving me money.
I've also tamped down on the socializing a bit (about 50%) because I tend to eat a lot when I go out with friends. I think that may be part of the anxiety issue - I am incredibly happy in the presence of my friends, and without that interaction, I think my anxiety gets a stronger foothold.
Honestly though, all I want to do is go to Chipotle and eat a burrito bowl and some chips. Or Smashburger. And now I'm drooling just a little. LOL
I'm struggling a bit, too. Not because I need to lose weight, necessarily, but I need to get control of my diabetes and high blood pressure.
What really sucks is, I have to try to manage sodium at the same time I'm managing carbs. No fun.
However, what I have found is that simple walking suffices as good exercise for me. I'm walking at least two miles per day and, so far, have only missed one walk in the past three weeks (it does rain, ya know!). So, I would encourage you to walk if you can't run. If you have a smartphone with GPS, it's nice to be able to record your efforts and provide a goal to reach daily.
In addition, my doctor has recommended some strength training. It helps burn more calories, consistently, over the course of the day and helps to better manage my blood sugar levels. (BTW, maintaining proper blood sugar levels are MORE important for weight loss than calories. If your blood sugar is too high, your body stores food instead of burning it. But that's a different topic).
IMO, using a system like Nutrisystem is okay to kick-start you towards your goal, but I would suggest taking ownership of your food intake instead letting someone else do it. Find a nutritionist or someone who can guide you while you are working towards your goal. After all, you shouldn't stay on Nutrisystem forever, right? When you reach your goal, what will you do then?
I'm doing Nutrisystem because my friend's daughter (similar age to me and body type) managed to lose 150 pounds on it. I figure I can do 50 if she could manage such an amazing transformation. When I reach my goal weight, I will set an acceptable range of weight and pair it with stepping on the scale daily. I know how to lose weight - I managed to take off 25 through just mindful eating before that. But it was A LOT of mental work, organization and preparation.
Halfway to my goal, I decided to take a break, and never pulled myself together to restart the diet. There was an international trip with my two best friends (decadent, but not awful) and then a highly stressful trip to my hometown that included a sprained ankle, a 4-day delay for car repairs, bedbugs and, upon my arrival, the realization that my incredibly stubborn father could no longer live on his own and needed to liquidate his assets. The eating binge was ... epic. When I got back to my home, all of the weight I'd lost was back on and I was entirely overwhelmed by the idea of starting over again.
Nutrisystem is EASY by comparison. Once I reach my goal weight, I will keep it in my back pocket as something to restart or use as needed. Some of the frozen meals are quite good. It's also been helpful for really understanding appropriate portion size. But really, if I want to keep the weight off, I need to pay more attention to my stress levels. I knew the trip to see my family would be intense, but I did not expect it to be quite that bad.
In my opinion, it's hard to do more than one self-healing activity at once. Your mental state is much more important than your body's health at this point.
Yeah, I will be cutting myself more slack for "healthier indulgences" going forward. But knowing I'm losing weight is also a boost, as I have been preoccupied with the possibility of diabetes lately. My mother got hit with it out of the blue at 60, despite no genetic history or significant risk factors. I want to stave it off as much as I can, and taking off the weight is the best way to do that. So the diet is helpful to my mental health and detrimental at the same time - gotta love anxiety!
Moderation of moderation is key, I guess. There's only been two therapy sessions, but man, I'm getting such a flood of new perspectives and realizations, it's a little overwhelming. So that's got me off my game for sure. I'm hoping the intensity will pass though. I keep telling myself that all of this stuff going on - the therapy, the weight loss program, the issues with my father - are just something to get through and incorporate into my life and that I will come out on the other side in better shape mentally and physically.
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