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I absolutely did, over the phone (talking) around Memorial Day. She didn't seem to have much of a reaction, although she might have been holding back. But when we hung out two days later, she thanked me for being upfront with her, and was happy to see me. Which goes along with what I always believed: be honest with your intentions, and take the consequences in stride.
At this point, there will be no first move, barring a paradigm shift on my part (maybe hers too, but I can only take responsibility for my own actions). She knows how I feel, at least, so my conscience is clear. For now, our boundaries will remain where they were.
Thanks for the response. I'm all for being upfront when it comes to relationship issues.
Exactly. I keep having to explain myself to people that don't seem to understand, that just because I don't want to text all the time, or take a while to respond, doesn't mean I don't like you or am trying to ignore you...I just need my alone time, and would rather have time to myself, wherein I can actually think about someone and be able to miss them, rather than being stressed out, annoyed, exhausted and then just having to stop talking to them to get my alone time. I feel like I should give people instructions on how to treat me...I feel like it would make things easier for everyone. Lol. :
Without verbally explaining, how would one know that you prefer alone time especially if they do not really know you?
Without verbally explaining, how would one know that you prefer alone time especially if they do not really know you?
Well that's my point, is that I basically have to tell them if they don't seem to get it and take it personally, that's why I said it would be easier if I just make out a big list or something, for them to read all at once and get it out of the way.
I mean, being an introvert I just feel like it's normal to want alone time, and I figured at least saying I'm introverted people would realize that...but I guess not. I guess if they're the kind of person that thinks just because I don't text them that day, that they should "delete" me, and that it was a "hint" to tell them to get lost, because I went like 10 hours without texting them, then maybe they're not the right person for me anyway?
As an aside, Governor Jerry Brown of California is a fantastic, vital, vibrant, accomplished, terrifically smart person. He is 79 and didn't seem to enter a relationship of consequence until 15 years ago or around age 64. Research about him shows he was basically unattached until age 64.
(forget his somewhat brief 'dating' of Linda Rohnstadt)
I don't know much about Jerry Brown's personal life, but I like this story about him.
For some people out there finding their love later in life is probably better than not finding it all. There are always exceptions, of course.
I don't know much about Jerry Brown's personal life, but I like this story about him.
For some people out there finding their love later in life is probably better than not finding it all. There are always exceptions, of course.
but, he's a guy - being a 'bachelor' is celebrated and even bragged about. being a single female, on the other hand, especially if you're older, is 'sad' and 'lonely', and people wonder about how many cats you have...
but, he's a guy - being a 'bachelor' is celebrated and even bragged about. being a single female, on the other hand, especially if you're older, is 'sad' and 'lonely', and people wonder about how many cats you have...
Hmm... we must hang with different people . I always heard the opposite, at least in my extended social circle. Single women over 30 are praised or at least acknowledged for being freethinking, selective, and independent. Single men over 30, on the other hand, are seen as "immature", "Peter Pans", or whatever "compliments" people can come up with. Which, ironically, makes me want to stay single even more, on top of my preexisting determination. (Here, "single" means "not in a relationship", rather than unmarried.)
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 06-10-2017 at 10:42 AM..
I'm pretty much a female Peter Pan. I dated plenty in my 20s but after about 29 I was completely done with dating and being a girlfriend to needy people who made me emotionally crazy. The longer I stay single, the more I love it and couldn't imagine sharing my house with a partner ever again. I like my space exactly how it is.
I guess I would be open to a monogamous companion type of relationship where we have our own homes and just get together whenever. But that would be a few years from now, if ever.
I guess I would be open to a monogamous companion type of relationship where we have our own homes and just get together whenever. But that would be a few years from now, if ever.
That's the relationship I'd want as well. But in my social circle, it's a pipe dream. Most women people I associate with move in together after 3 months of dating and become joined at the hip 24/7/365 (excluding work).
If I meet a woman who shows romantic interest, I lay my cards on the table (like I described earlier) and let the chips fall where they may.
Hmm... we must hang with different people . I always heard the opposite, at least in my extended social circle. Single women over 30 are praised or at least acknowledged for being freethinking, selective, and independent. Single men over 30, on the other hand, are seen as "immature", "Peter Pans", or whatever "compliments" people can come up with. Which, ironically, makes me want to stay single even more, on top of my preexisting determination. (Here, "single" means "not in a relationship", rather than unmarried.)
hmm...well, I guess that could be true also, depending on who you ask or where you live. I've just seen plenty of guys call themselves bachelors and seem to be proud of it, whereas even if a female the same age is happily single, I think society and others tend to view it as sad, or at least less desirable than being a bachelor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southeastliving
I'm pretty much a female Peter Pan. I dated plenty in my 20s but after about 29 I was completely done with dating and being a girlfriend to needy people who made me emotionally crazy. The longer I stay single, the more I love it and couldn't imagine sharing my house with a partner ever again. I like my space exactly how it is.
I guess I'm the opposite, where I didn't really start dating until 28, so I guess my 'early dating' years are when most people start getting sick of dating and want to settle down. :/
Well that's my point, is that I basically have to tell them if they don't seem to get it and take it personally, that's why I said it would be easier if I just make out a big list or something, for them to read all at once and get it out of the way.
I mean, being an introvert I just feel like it's normal to want alone time, and I figured at least saying I'm introverted people would realize that...but I guess not. I guess if they're the kind of person that thinks just because I don't text them that day, that they should "delete" me, and that it was a "hint" to tell them to get lost, because I went like 10 hours without texting them, then maybe they're not the right person for me anyway?
I am an introvert and I like my alone time. What I do to make sure I don't appear standoffish is that I will say that i feel like staying home or whatever, but I preface it by offering another time and place we could get together.
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:
. I always heard the opposite, at least in my extended social circle. Single women over 30 are praised or at least acknowledged for being freethinking, selective, and independent. Single men over 30, on the other hand, are seen as "immature", "Peter Pans", or whatever "compliments" 
people can come up with. Which, ironically, makes me want to stay single even more, on top of my preexisting determination. (Here, "single" means "not in a relationship", rather than unmarried.)
