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Does anyone else think that firstborn people are more arrogant and obnoxious than they need to be, sometimes?
As a firstborn kid myself, I would say, yes. But I sometimes worry about coming off that way and try to temper it with humility and self-mockery when I can.
Does anyone else think that firstborn people are more arrogant and obnoxious than they need to be, sometimes?
Some are . Others are insecure, due to parents having high expectations of them as kids, that they couldn't meet. Some learn to cheat in order to satisfy those expectations. Some end up spoiled and favored, as the first born. Others end up resentful, if they were required to be mother's helper, and to look after the younger kids. There are all kinds of potential scenarios, and reactions to them.
Some are . Others are insecure, due to parents having high expectations of them as kids, that they couldn't meet. Some learn to cheat in order to satisfy those expectations. Some end up spoiled and favored, as the first born. Others end up resentful, if they were required to be mother's helper, and to look after the younger kids. There are all kinds of potential scenarios, and reactions to them.
Being a first born, it was just the opposite for me. There were very high expectations from me and I had the more "strict" upbringing between my younger brother and I. There is a 10 year age difference between us and my parents were much older and more "tolerable" of the things he did. He got away with A LOT! But I believe they didn't love me any less, it's just the way it was.
As for the OP question, I do have an "arrogance" about me but is kept in check. I don't think it has to do with my upbringing though, because at times , I could still feel like that "12 year old" around my mother at any given time.
I'm an oldest, was an only for two years, so before any deep memory encoding. I've always had siblings within my conscious memory.
The most obnoxiously arrogant kid in my family (and he will back this up) is my brother, one of the middles (our family is a pair of twin boys flanked by older sister and younger sister).
We all have a lot of confidence (raised that way), but straight up arrogance was something my brother had in spades in his youth. As an adult, he has grown up a lot and has much more humility. But as a kid, he was ultra cocky.
My husband was raised as a youngest, with a sister 3 years older (she is awesome and not remotely arrogant...super mellow). He became theoretically a middle at age 25, when his half-sister was born. But functionally, never a middle child, as he was an adult and out of the house and never raised with his much younger sibling. She is a sophomore in college, now, and is more along the lines of a niece, relationship-wise, than a younger sister. She's can be obnoxious, in the way that all college kids can be, but she's not arrogant. she's pretty down to earth.
I'm an oldest, was an only for two years, so before any deep memory encoding. I've always had siblings within my conscious memory.
The most obnoxiously arrogant kid in my family (and he will back this up) is my brother, one of the middles (our family is a pair of twin boys flanked by older sister and younger sister).
We all have a lot of confidence (raised that way), but straight up arrogance was something my brother had in spades in his youth. As an adult, he has grown up a lot and has much more humility. But as a kid, he was ultra cocky.
My husband was raised as a youngest, with a sister 3 years older (she is awesome and not remotely arrogant...super mellow). He became theoretically a middle at age 25, when his half-sister was born. But functionally, never a middle child, as he was an adult and out of the house and never raised with his much younger sibling. She is a sophomore in college, now, and is more along the lines of a niece, relationship-wise, than a younger sister. She's can be obnoxious, in the way that all college kids can be, but she's not arrogant. she's pretty down to earth.
A 25 year difference definitely breaks the cycle. I've heard that if there is greater than 4 years difference, then the cycle starts over. And there is a difference between firstborn versus "only child". Also, if the gender is different that can also make a difference. But I don't know, these are just things I've read.
I know many true firstborns that are really nice people. The ones that aren't, though, really bother me. But they have their good qualities too.
I'm the first born and I do not consider myself arrogant or obnoxious. I think it's all in the way you are raised! This would be like asking if the last born is spoiled and selfish!
I think you are completely generalizing a group of people. Some individuals are arrogant or obnoxious, regardless of birth order. Do we really want to cubby hole and categorize people now based on this? Seems pretty harsh.
A 25 year difference definitely breaks the cycle. I've heard that if there is greater than 4 years difference, then the cycle starts over. And there is a difference between firstborn versus "only child". Also, if the gender is different that can also make a difference. But I don't know, these are just things I've read.
I know many true firstborns that are really nice people. The ones that aren't, though, really bother me. But they have their good qualities too.
There is a lot of research on the influence of birth order. Some is pseudoscience, some is properly conducted hypothesis testing. But there are so many other factors that can enter in as confounding variables. Personality, environment, etc. enter in as well.
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