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I had a tough childhood. My parents got divorced when I was 3, so I found myself shleping from one house to another for many years.
When I finally turned 18 and graduated from high school, it was the best feeling in the world. No more child support/visitation hours. I was an adult, and I was free.
In 2005, I kissed my teenage years goodbye. No sooner do I turn 20 than my now-wife and I reconnected on MySpace and entered into a wonderful relationship. It's as if all I had to do was was wait patiently to get past the teen years in order to welcome the arrival of my soulmate. I had a couple of short flings before her, but this has been the only real, serious relationship I've had my whole life. That's partly what made that year so special.
Provided all goes well, I realize I will never get the opportunity to experience what it's like to be in a new relationship ever again. Once in a lifetime is fine with me, though. I'm very happy in and thankful for my marriage.
Do you ever reminisce with your wife?
I can understand why someone who is already depressed would not want to look at pictures of good times with people who are all dead now. Losing people is one of the hardest parts of aging.
I am old and think about my past some. I have settled in my mind the things I might have done differently. I don't revisit them. I have a high school friend and we like to talk about high school . I think about my life when my children were young which is one of the best parts, or people in my life who were especially dear to me, but I am very content with my life NOW so I don't think my thoughts (or yours) are a sign of depression.
When something takes over your life, the past or whatever, that's when you have a problem.
You are "bored". You have entered adulthood marriage. It's time to have a child. Everything will be new again. Think about this, do you want to be an old grandparent or a young one ?
I never thought about having children much, until we did. It's been the best thing in the world! There is nothing like coming home to a toddler and seeing their face light up "DADDYYYYYY"!!
You are ready for your next phase in life go for it, and "enjoy" making them��
You are "bored". You have entered adulthood marriage. It's time to have a child. Everything will be new again. Think about this, do you want to be an old grandparent or a young one ?
I never thought about having children much, until we did. It's been the best thing in the world! There is nothing like coming home to a toddler and seeing their face light up "DADDYYYYYY"!!
You are ready for your next phase in life go for it, and "enjoy" making them��
I'm not sure who this is meant for. I had ONE child and glad that was it...but I was 25 and for the rest of my life I filled it with a lot of other interests and work. I don't choose to have pets as I don't want the responsibility...and that is A-OK.
It sounds to me like you are looking forward by trying to find a better job. If you think your lack of a 4 year degree will hold you back, now would be a good time to start work for a degree. If you have that four year degree, now would be a good time to get the MA that would advance you in your field.
You and your wife could plan a great trip together.
I do want to say that if you both do eventually want kids, you need to be thinking about doing that soon. It gets harder with advancing age, and if you wait too long, you might miss out, or having that child bight be really hard to make happen. At the very least, you might both get check ups to find out if there are any apparent problems.
If your reminiscing is not affecting your day to day life, then I see no harm. It sounds as if you feel a pause in your life's progression, and now you are remembering the eventfulness of a significant year. I also suspect you are ready to start a family, but your wife has not reached that stage yet. I'd recommend finding something that interests you and pursuing that. Start work on an advanced degree, or do some other activity that you find meaningful and that enriches your life.
I think that reliving your milestone year helps you to remember it. There is nothing wrong with that.
You sound healthy to me. I think it depends on what is considered too much.
My basic guideline:
If you like to reminisce about the people, places and things from your youth with fondness, but can carry on with your everyday responsibilities and relationships, than it is healthy.
If you start to neglect you everyday responsibilities and relationships, or if your thoughts become resentful or bitter, than you need to seek help.
Just remember, the older you get, the more memories have to reminisce about. Make it count.
You sound healthy to me. I think it depends on what is considered too much.
My basic guideline:
If you like to reminisce about the people, places and things from your youth with fondness, but can carry on with your everyday responsibilities and relationships, than it is healthy.
If you start to neglect you everyday responsibilities and relationships, or if your thoughts become resentful or bitter, than you need to seek help.
Just remember, the older you get, the more memories have to reminisce about. Make it count.
And be thankful in aging, that the memory still works.
I don't know what you mean by "unhealthy." One of my parents ONLY lived in the past, and lived to a very, very old age. Apparently, she was "happy." I don't think she evolved much, but you didn't ask about development, so not sure what your question really is.
Seems like your job and life in general has become routine, predictable and mundane. You mentioned " The possibilities don't seem endless " as if you accomplished all the goals you had envisioned for your life. Maybe establish some more goals in your life to strive for attainment. Pursue self improvement of yourself in healthy living, eating and exercise or hobbies such as art, miniature model building or whatever you may enjoy.
OP's original post was clear to me. Why do others read so much other stuff into posts? It happens all the time. Some of us reminisce when we are young. At this point in my life I know each day what I'm doing as I don't walk too well and giving up driving. So I know what my day will be like. But I'm not bored, not jumping up and down with happiness but accepting what is. Thank goodness I can still laugh.
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. I think about my life when my children were young which is one of the best parts, or people in my life who were especially dear to me, but I am very content with my life NOW so I don't think my thoughts (or yours) are a sign of depression.
