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Many of us who call ourselves introverts will attest that we live in our heads a whole lot.
On the surface, it might seem like a good thing. You're a deep person. You think things though before making big decisions. You have a good grasp on your -- and others' -- motives and behavior. You're more self-aware than most people you know.
But it's not without its downsides. Living in your head is conducive to overanalyzing things to death. You're either harping on the past or anxious about the future. You often sweat the small stuff.
I find that the less I'm stuck in my head, the happier I am. There are times where being deep in thought should be encouraged -- like when you're solving a problem, taking a quiz at school, writing a letter, bantering with a friend about the cosmos, or playing Jeopardy at home. In other words, there's no harm in mental rigor when the exercise is intellectual in nature.
But when it concerns one's problems, or when you're in an unhappy or anxious state, living in one's head can be awfully detrimental.
I used to not want to have kids because I feared I would no longer be able to live in my head.
Now one reason I want kids is so that I'm NOT always stuck in my head and can worry about/tend to someone else's needs, which, on the whole, makes me a whole lot happier.
Can anyone relate? Does living in your head make you feel depressed? Anxious?
Last edited by Wordsmith12; 11-27-2017 at 08:27 AM..
So, so, SO much. I've always had real problems with being late (not way late, but consistently a few minutes late), forgetting where I put things, and not reading instructions. I am a pathological head-liver.
I'm so glad my current job is doing background checks, which involves rigorously analyzing documents for tiny and rare but crucial discrepancies and errors, because that's not my natural state at all - I'm much more naturally inclined to daydream all the time and not pay attention to details. It's slowly helping me develop the in-the-moment skills most people seem to be born with.
Yes, that's a good description. I was a person who lived in my head from the time I was young. People often told me I didn't seem as if I was "there" when I was somewhere, and they were right.
I forced myself to be more outgoing and social, but I can still easily go back inside my head, and when the outside world gets to be too much, as it sometimes does, I go back in.
And just because you don't want to live in your head all the time doesn't mean you want/need to become an extrovert.
I know for a fact that I will always be introverted and contemplative -- it's in my DNA. At my niece's birthday party on Saturday (to which she invited lots of people), I was feeling utterly drained after three hours of non-stop music and chatter. I left that place with a huge headache.
However, I'm striving as much as I can to live in the moment. Too much nostalgia makes me depressed. Too much worrying about the future puts me on edge. The point is to not think much about what you can't control (future) or change (past).
Yes and No. I live in my head far too much so I escape out of it. To the point I can't practice 'mindfulness' which is supposed to be good. To brush my TEETH I have to turn on the news for something to focus on besides whatever I am ruminating over or whatever.
I have to have a comedy show on to laugh my way through house chores, or music to jam (and dance) through chores.
My jam is work or a project or researching something of interest. Pulls all focus.
I'm no introvert, but I find myself lost in my thoughts and ideas more times than I can count. I prefer the abstract over the material/physcial world and my mind is a haven for the theoretical. I tend to have an hyperactive imagination and need dozens of outlets for it (painting being my favorite). Overall, I find living in my head quite delightful. It's only when my haven starts churning out radical, destructive thoughts it becomes a nightmare.
My reply is going to be different from anyone else's.
But i do often live in my own head. I live in this fantasy world that doesn't exist OR hasn't happened yet. For example, I like to budget my money on future potential earnings five years from now. So in 2022, I would like to allocate this much to expenses, this much for leisure, etc... But the problem is that i don't make that type of money yet and it's not guaranteed that I will make that type of money. But I like to "pretend" that I will one day. (although i am taking steps of getting my CPA license so im betting on myself so I don't think it's too farfetched)
And the other thing I like to fantasize about is my family. I don't have any immediate family on my own; no wife, kids, etc... I would like to have those things and i often fantasize about having a family but i have major trust issues with women. I'm currently working on them, but it's "funny" that i dream about a family when i cannot trust my would be S/O.
I guess I live in my head and fantasize about these things because: 1)-I have a goal to shoot for and a desire to reach the next step in my life. Any obstacle I have right now, I MUST WORK REALLY HARD to overcome. 2)-It keeps me happy. If I didn't fantasize from time-to-time, I would be kinda depressed. I have a lot going on for me but I feel like I haven't done enough in life. And while I am working on these things, having a "fantasy life'' keeps me "sane.''
When you say "live in your head a lot" do you equate that with "stuck in my head", "depressed", "conducive to overanalyzing things to death"? I'm not clear on what you mean by "live in your head a lot". I guess I'm saying that a whole lot of help to humanity has come from people who are very, very, focused and brilliantly imaginative. They are known to be in their heads a lot. Maybe what you're talking about is being stuck in negative thoughts -- that's what you're finding detrimental. Is that right? If so, I think being in one's head a lot and being stuck in one's head a lot are two totally different things.
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