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Am I in the wrong here?
I do some childcare work for a couple who are currently going through a messy divorce. I now only see the dad of my charge and hardly ever the mom. Today though the mom came to collect my charge from the house as Dad is away on business. She said she had to collect some bags of hers and then she led me to the door and I walked home.
Back at home, I saw an email from the dad. He had written:
"Hi Jenni. I have no idea why Jane collected her bags, there should be nothing to collect.
I should have said but in the future I need you to stay until Jane has gone as I don't like the idea of her being in the house with nobody watching what she is doing. I know Ethan (Teenage stepson) was there but he doesn't want any interaction with her so I would rather you stayed until she went going forward."
I replied saying-
"Okay. It might be best if we arrange an alternative meeting point in the future or that you explain to Jane why I am staying after she has gone.'
He replied back saying he was furious with her and not me but I still feel uneasy and like I let him down. Am I just being weak/a doormat?
You feel bad because you are in the middle of a divorced couple, nothing you did was wrong, she was wrong. You don't own the house, she manipulated the situation and probably had it all planned out how to get you out the door.
What you said to the dad was exactly right. You should not be in the middle of this, barring her entry. That's why couples exchanging custody meet in a neutral location and even then things sometimes get ugly.
You are not weak. You sound very intelligent. Keep up the good work.
I think he is overstepping his demands in terms of your responsibilities. Your responsibility is childcare, not overseeing the house or his belongings. He's testing boundaries but if it were me, I would not allow myself to be used in this manner. If he wants you to have responsibilities over and above what he is paying you, and you have the expertise and muscle to do more, discuss it in clear terms and negotiate a pay raise.
Am I in the wrong here?
I do some childcare work for a couple who are currently going through a messy divorce. I now only see the dad of my charge and hardly ever the mom. Today though the mom came to collect my charge from the house as Dad is away on business. She said she had to collect some bags of hers and then she led me to the door and I walked home.
Back at home, I saw an email from the dad. He had written:
"Hi Jenni. I have no idea why Jane collected her bags, there should be nothing to collect.
I should have said but in the future I need you to stay until Jane has gone as I don't like the idea of her being in the house with nobody watching what she is doing. I know Ethan (Teenage stepson) was there but he doesn't want any interaction with her so I would rather you stayed until she went going forward."
I replied saying-
"Okay. It might be best if we arrange an alternative meeting point in the future or that you explain to Jane why I am staying after she has gone.'
He replied back saying he was furious with her and not me but I still feel uneasy and like I let him down. Am I just being weak/a doormat?
It's not your fault, and something he should have set up in advance.
Sometimes, though, things happen that you cannot anticipate. You are not a divorce mediator.
It's not your fault, and something he should have set up in advance.
Sometimes, though, things happen that you cannot anticipate. You are not a divorce mediator.
Just let it go.
Wise.
I would also let them both go ,
Then go live my own life.
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