I Was Bullied By A Mob In High School But Why? (discrimination, narcissist)
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I'm from the USA and it has been several years since high school graduation and I thought that I had completely forgotten about the bullying/mobbing that I experienced in high school until now. Suddenly I woke up very early one morning before my usual time having extremely vivid flashbacks of a hectic communications class that I took in high school.
During that time in high school I was mobbed by three or four bullies who threw spitballs and trash at me, constantly interrupted me while giving class presentations, talked over me, shouted at me, blasted me with rude prying questions while I was trying to do my classwork, and blasted me with a lot of disruptive criticisms. I felt like I was on trial in a kangaroo court every single class period. I remember reporting this obvious problem to the uppity teacher and she refused to help me and even said that she would not do anything about it. I was so sick of the harassment that I reported it verbally and in writing to the vice principal who took a flippant attitude towards the matter and did as little as possible. I remember everything was an uphill battle with everyone and not only that but as an adult I'm still extremely confused about the mobbing and harassment. I felt that the teacher was responsible for everything because she did not utilize any professional leadership skills nor encourage any type of problem solving skills amongst the wayward students. Throughout that class I was demonized more and more and treated like a pariah by one person after the next. The harassment seemed coordinated yet I was blamed for everything with the usual clichéd retorts and accusations. I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time. I felt a horrendous sense of guilt for having stood up for myself as well. It was like I was being penalized for standing up for myself and asserting myself. On the final day of that semester I walked over to the vice principals office and filed a detail specific formal complaint against that passive aggressive teacher.
Looking back I believe I was surrounded by some personality disordered people (anti-social and borderline personalities) who all shared the same delusional bigoted angry viewpoints. Also I felt covertly discriminated against because I am a minority. I was never one of the popular athletic tokenized minorities in the school and was treated like the evil negative stereotype minority which is still a form of discrimination according to my viewpoint. Graduating high school was an uphill battle not because I lacked discipline or intelligence but because of the malicious rumors and gossip and rampant low morale. Another bizarre situation was when that same communications teacher was substituting in a journalism class a year later and she came over to me muttered some type of half-baked apology and tried to be really friendly to me as if everything was water under the bridge. Very strange.
I went off to college, graduated, and have had similar bullying problems at workplaces but I'm still very confused as to what I've been going through. I've researched on personality disorders and the symptoms and descriptions clearly reveal their corrupt character flaws and problems with inappropriate anger, jealousy, and paranoia. I was wondering if anyone else had real life knowledge about what was likely going on in these corrupt school systems? And why? Bullycide is a problem in the USA and I really believed that so-called communications teacher and her mob of young psychopathic bad seed thugs were trying to get me to die an early death. Your thoughts about this tribulation is appreciated.
I'm very sorry you had to endure this. How very unfair. I wish I had been there: I would have defended you! You sound very, very bright and that's probably the real reason.
My bullying was (I guess) based on a collection of anomalous things about me: bright (skipped two grades), very tall (6'3"), bookish, artistically oriented, good with languages, chess, just a weird kid. Finally went to a very good university where I was blissfully happy for the 2 1/2 years it took me to graduate, because everybody there was just like me so I felt normal. I'm still friends with a dozen people from then (30 years ago!), including some of my professors.
People can be real bastards. Screw 'em. They have to live with who they are. You don't.
<<<hugs>>>
Last edited by KaraZetterberg153; 06-20-2018 at 09:39 PM..
I'll share what happened to my sister. She was also severely bullied in middle school and part of high school.
A few years ago one of the bullies reached out to her on Facebook. He said he was in a treatment program, and one of the things they encouraged was apologies. So he apologized for being a jerk to her and picking on her in middle school. He didn't offer up any reasons other than he was in a bad head space and didn't realize it would impact people. And he said he was sorry.
Basically it was the least sincere apology ever. He was so deluded he didn't even realize he was framing his apology in how it impacted him and not her. We laughed about it.
I'm sorry you got picked on, most kids who are "different" do. I am not sure what in our culture encourages this behavior. Just know you are not alone. And I hope now you have the confidence and perspective to brush it off. It is their problem, not yours.
Finding out why is only part of the solution. It involves the bullies' motivations and their reward, which is finding a person with reactions that are typical in a 'safe' social setting. For example, ignoring is usually a behavior that is used with aware people to show that you don't approve their behavior. But it is not seen as a cue for the bully to stop. Instead it is seen as a weakness. Why? Bullies will look for opportunities to turn interactions into a competition, such as strong vs weak.
It is best to recognize when a social interaction has turned into a competition. If you can't identify it or don't know how to handle it, the best choice is to move to a new 'safe' setting. If you can't move or if you choose to stay, then consider this point. Most people, bullies and normal people, respond more positively to people they know and like, even when their friends' behavior is not much better than yours. In fact, their friends' behavior can be worse than yours and they won't blink an eye.
So if you want the bully to stop, you may have to consider getting on his or her good side. This involves quickly recognizing when a competition has started, knowing when the bully is right and joining your idea with the bully's or changing your idea. You can't change the bully.
I'm from the USA and it has been several years since high school graduation and I thought that I had completely forgotten about the bullying/mobbing that I experienced in high school until now. Suddenly I woke up very early one morning before my usual time having extremely vivid flashbacks of a hectic communications class that I took in high school.
During that time in high school I was mobbed by three or four bullies who threw spitballs and trash at me, constantly interrupted me while giving class presentations, talked over me, shouted at me, blasted me with rude prying questions while I was trying to do my classwork, and blasted me with a lot of disruptive criticisms. I felt like I was on trial in a kangaroo court every single class period. I remember reporting this obvious problem to the uppity teacher and she refused to help me and even said that she would not do anything about it. I was so sick of the harassment that I reported it verbally and in writing to the vice principal who took a flippant attitude towards the matter and did as little as possible. I remember everything was an uphill battle with everyone and not only that but as an adult I'm still extremely confused about the mobbing and harassment. I felt that the teacher was responsible for everything because she did not utilize any professional leadership skills nor encourage any type of problem solving skills amongst the wayward students. Throughout that class I was demonized more and more and treated like a pariah by one person after the next. The harassment seemed coordinated yet I was blamed for everything with the usual clichéd retorts and accusations. I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time. I felt a horrendous sense of guilt for having stood up for myself as well. It was like I was being penalized for standing up for myself and asserting myself. On the final day of that semester I walked over to the vice principals office and filed a detail specific formal complaint against that passive aggressive teacher.
Looking back I believe I was surrounded by some personality disordered people (anti-social and borderline personalities) who all shared the same delusional bigoted angry viewpoints. Also I felt covertly discriminated against because I am a minority. I was never one of the popular athletic tokenized minorities in the school and was treated like the evil negative stereotype minority which is still a form of discrimination according to my viewpoint. Graduating high school was an uphill battle not because I lacked discipline or intelligence but because of the malicious rumors and gossip and rampant low morale. Another bizarre situation was when that same communications teacher was substituting in a journalism class a year later and she came over to me muttered some type of half-baked apology and tried to be really friendly to me as if everything was water under the bridge. Very strange.
I went off to college, graduated, and have had similar bullying problems at workplaces but I'm still very confused as to what I've been going through. I've researched on personality disorders and the symptoms and descriptions clearly reveal their corrupt character flaws and problems with inappropriate anger, jealousy, and paranoia. I was wondering if anyone else had real life knowledge about what was likely going on in these corrupt school systems? And why? Bullycide is a problem in the USA and I really believed that so-called communications teacher and her mob of young psychopathic bad seed thugs were trying to get me to die an early death. Your thoughts about this tribulation is appreciated.
My take is completely opposite to what most people think.
Kids see your selfishness. You dont see it, none of us do.
They react by bullying.
The hardest thing for me was to see myself clearly as others do.
I have to agree with jones. There is no excuse for bullying, but if you find yourself a target for criticism in a variety of different groups and situations across time--from your boss, your peers, your relatives, then you are the common denominator.
What are you doing/how are you living that is far outside the norm of your peers? For example, are you socially difficult/awkward? That can come across as snobby or misanthropic. Do you still live at home with your parents at 30? That makes you look weak and mentally incapable. Are you overweight with questionable hygiene? People are very uncomfortable with individuals who do not seem to respect themselves.
Also, you seem sort of dramatic, implying that teachers and students want you dead. You may have some issues with personality or mental health yourself, such as paranoia and possible delusions. (I am reminded of those who think they are being "gangstalked" by government operatives).
So yes, look in the mirror, and see if there is something inviting the attention of ****ty people and if you want to avoid that attention, change something.
I was bullied in high school. I didn't go home to cry. Instead I dished out punches and kicks. Quite often I went home with bruised lips and black eyes. Did it make me a better man? No. But it didn't make me worse either.
People will bully others no matter what and no matte what age. Being a victim helps no one. Do something about it. You won't change the bully's mind, but when the fear element they're counting on isn't there anymore, the bullying effects diminish.
With the re-examination of my relationship with my mother, I realize that she was a person who taught me to accept bullying as normal - I didn't fit her idea of what a daughter should be, so she constantly tore me down. She was my first bully. She and my father also modeled a very narcissistic outlook, so I copied that. I'm not a narcissist by nature, but nurture produced certain traits in me. No self esteem and a narcissistic approach to life does not present a very pretty picture to the world. I did not have an easy time of it. Getting out of the pit that was dug for me was not easy - it was years of work.
Empathy first.
Take responsibility for your own attitude and actions.
Be open to other people, and do not judge them based on your worst experiences with humanity.
And - sorry for the barf-worthy language - be positive and proactive. Meaning, approach things with an open mind with an eye for solutions. Do not assume the worst. You will get knocked down. Get back up and try again.
And for the love of all that's holy, get yourself into therapy.
What I have noticed is that in social systems, whether it's workplace, school or anywhere else, tend to favor bullies. That's why it's very hard for the victims to get anywhere with complaints. Also most people won't help someone who is being bullied, because they are afraid of becoming a target themselves.
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