Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
also i don't think the OP realizes how many women would be absolutely thrilled to be in a relationship with a man without physical intimacy.
You know, that's a good point. Or at least not penetrative sex. There's a substantial portion of straight women out there who either have an anatomical issue that makes it painful, a trauma related to it, or just plain don't enjoy it.
My late husband starting having ED about 5 years before he died due to spinal stenosis. I hated that he had to take a Viagra every time we would have sex, then we had to wait 30 minutes which meant sex always had to be planned. Honestly it did make me feel that I wasn't hot enough for him even though I know it wasn't me, it still affects some women.
OP - it sounds to me like you need to see a therapist before you subject yourself to a penile implant. If a guy I was starting to date told me he had one, I'm not sure what I would think but I don't think it would give me a good feeling.
Thought my performance has been 99% in the sack, my masturbation has got worse and worse as has my relationship with my body.
If you masturbate a lot (especially with porn) then that has probably been the cause of your ED this whole time.
Excessive porn use and masturbation has caused ED in LOTS of young men, including myself.
Check out yourbrainonporn.com or watch some of Gary Wilson's youtube videos.
If you STOP watching porn and STOP masturbating completely for at least 2-3 months, your life will be completely different.
Excessive masturbation empties you of your vital male energy and makes you a weak person who is more susceptible to anxiety and lack of drive.
Excessive porn use tricks your brain into thinking that you are having sex with a computer screen and as such it makes it harder to become aroused by a real person.
Last edited by atltechdude; 07-05-2018 at 09:00 PM..
I’m not willing to go on forever, scared of sex, allowing it to dominate my life. I’m 34 and in a very important stage of my life. And I believe that, all options being exhausted, this would solve a great deal.
Your problem is in your head, not in your dick. I can 100% guarantee you this.
Your proposed solution is not going to solve anything, in fact it will probably create more complications for you. Your proposed solution is also absurd given everything you have said, which means your neuroticism regarding sex has reached such a level that you are considering terrible life choices based on incredibly distorted thinking.
You definitely need counseling, or a better counselor if you already have one.
At the very least, learn about nofap and semen retention on youtube, from what you've said I think that alone will help you immensely.
also i don't think the OP realizes how many women would be absolutely thrilled to be in a relationship with a man without physical intimacy.
He's not unable to have sex, and he's not trying to be in a sexless relationship.
He doesn't actually have ED. He was unable to perform while drunk one night 13 years ago, and now he says he has ED and is just obsessing about that one time that it happened to him, fearful that it will happen again. So he's considering this drastic elective surgery to prevent that extremely rare occurrence from happening ever.
I'm an older woman - saying this first, because i've been thru a marriage and a divorce, and several long-term relationships.
I know what is truly important in someone that i want to love and stay with.
Your honesty is what would matter to me, and how much i loved you.
Taking a pill forever is not good for you - they have serious side effects.
True, you don't have to divulge everything until you are serious about each other if that is what you think is best. But to me - someone who truly loves you will love you thru it.
(I watch a show about trans people, and 90% of the couples on the show are staying together thru THAT. Just imagine the love there. Your partner is becoming a member of the opposite sex. You will know if that person truly loves you.)
Just my humble opinion, of course. I had a guy that i saw for a while with a small one, and he brought an extender with him when he came over. Didnt bother me It let me know he had issues about it - where i would not have cared.
(A relative's B/F got "the pump" after an auto accident and it didn't work. But his issue was medical.)
(edited to add, after i read some other replies: Yes, therapy may help you get thru a lot of the ED issue; and i could live with a relationship that had sexual "problems" if i was in love with the person. But i know this is a big issue with guys, so as a woman i can only give so much advice.)
Last edited by Jellybean50; 07-06-2018 at 12:45 PM..
I feel like I'm 'behind enemy lines' as it were but of course that's a light-hearted jest. I'm really here to seek the God's honest truth and opinion of women (single, married, young, older) but I guess I have a specific interest in the young single segment.
I'm 34, what most would consider as handsome, I have a good job, ya di ya di ya da but I am facing a particularly harrowing problem that threatens to destabilise my life and turn it upside down.
Long story short, I suffer from ED (erectile dysfunction). It started around 21 and as I said I'm now 34. There was no clear or medical cause as to why it would have started. I was healthy, fit, happy-go-lucky at uni. I think I just had too much to drink one night and the girl I brought home, well, she wasn't happy when I was too drunk to perform. I think this stuck with me.
I became and observer of my own performance and to this day I have developed a huge OCD anxiety complex around my erections.
In my mid-twenties I got cancer but luckily it was treatable and I was cured.
I have had every test under the sun to diagnose the cause of my ED; ultrasounds, night time studies, the lot. All prove that there is nothing PHYSICALLY wrong with me. But sadly, my anxiety is at an all time high and it short-circuits my arousal process.
Psychiatry, psychologists, anti anxiety meds, meditation, I've tried so much. Nothing made it better. And my relationships have been very very choppy the last few years. But not due to this problem. In fact; I’ve performed excellently 99% of the time as I say. It’s just my anxiety now is at a new level.
I have been on a viagra type medication for a long time now, so much so that I'm dependent on it. I do feel I could wean off one day but that is a mountain so high and while I find myself newly single again, EVERYTHING is coming to the surface more than ever and I just want to be rid of this problem.
The pills have always had a 99% effectiveness but I am literally SO SO stressed about the next girl to enter my life, whoever she is, I really hope she's the one, because my only true dream in life is to marry a wonderful woman and have a family of my own.
SO MY QUESTION TO YOU LOVELY LADIES AND PLEASE BE HONEST:
I am considering submitting myself for penile implant surgery.
The implant is a three-piece device with a reservoir of saline placed in the abdomen, two cylinders in the shaft of the penis and a pump in the ball sack. The pump is pressed when an erection is desired and hey presto, after about 5-25 pumps, you have an erection that is filled with saline, not blood.
The penis looks and feel the same
The man can still feel normally, *** normally
He can go indefinitely if he really wanted to
It lasts for about 10-15 years at which point a replacement is needed
You'd never really know he had one until of course you either felt the pump in the balls or your relationship became serious
So, I'm asking you guys,
If we were dating, you fell in love with me (because, hey, I'm super nice), you know that I care for you, that I'm still a normal guy with a normal life but sadly life's troubles have led me to take this action - I tell you I have this implant, I explain it to you in detail, I reassure you that it is YOU that is turning me on, making me ***, making me love you but the mechanism to become erect is manual now, not automatic as it were...
Would you have reservations?
Would you want to leave?
Could you make peace with that?
Would it turn you off?
What would your feelings be?
I've been through a lot in my life and I can take the truth. I just ask that you treat me kindly whilst maintaining honesty!
Thank you all so much and I'm sorry for the long post.
I appreciate your open and honest discourse about something that effects millions of men but few speak up. Here is what I suggest. I am not a therapist but I have a M.A Psychology. I would seek a therapist who works with PTSD or Anxiety. I believe you can overcome this situation through good therapeutic assistance. There are sexologists that are legitimate Marriage and Family Thearpists who specialized with extensive training and education in order to certify as a sexologist. Remember Therapy does not include sex. So if any therapist approaches you for sex walk out the door with their business card and notify the Board of Beahvioral Science in the state that you live in. Enough said. I digress, but you don't need to be violated in your quest for to have a normal healthy enjoyable sex life.
On a non clinical level as a woman I would be more concerned for how you felt with or without an implant. Someone who truly loves you for who you are will accept you for who you are and all that you offer whether there are sexual dysfunction or not. The woman you seek will say, "how can I help to relax you to help you work past the issue and discomfort. A sexologist can work with you and your future partner to help the two of you work as a team and then eventually you will be ok and not need a sexologist. Good luck I hope everything works out for you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It let me know he had issues about it - where i would not have cared.
