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I'm 35, I suppose the biggest difference for me versus 25 is just feeling more battle-weary, like at 25 I was on the path toward my dreams and had endless optimism that I'd get there. At 35, I've accomplished a few of those dreams but not the ultimate prize and I continue to hope that my efforts will pay off and I'll get there. It's like knowing you're still young enough to have lots of time to get there, but you're not so young to be complacent, so work hard and don't waste time. I think about that a lot. Don't let the time pass, seize control over it.
I am a lot calmer and more toned down now in my 40s than I was in my 20s. I am less impulsive and think things over more. I wonder what I will be like in my 50s and 60s.
I'm in my 40's and death has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I've come to the realization that at least half my life is over. I'm also starting to lose people like I've known for a very long time like my neighbors, former teachers, or my friends parents. It's kind of strange because my brother and I just had a long talk about this the other day. He's a few years older than me, and he says that he had those thoughts for a bit when he first turned 40. We both also expressed to each other that we feel like the world is no longer ours anymore. We both feel as if the world is now our children's world.
My Grandmother is 86 years old and says that this fear of death will pass, and that it's pretty common for middle aged people to dwell on. She said that she felt the same way in her 40's and 50's, but her fear of death sort just went away in her 60's as well as many other anxiety or fears that she had. She is very at peace with her life now, and says that she just lives one day at a time. She says that she fears losing her independence, but not death anymore. My grandma thinks that coming to peace with ones own death is a biological thing that occurs, as she says that seniors in general tend to actually dwell on death less than the middle aged. I don't know how much truth there is to that, but it makes sense when you think about it.
I'm 35, I suppose the biggest difference for me versus 25 is just feeling more battle-weary, like at 25 I was on the path toward my dreams and had endless optimism that I'd get there. At 35, I've accomplished a few of those dreams but not the ultimate prize and I continue to hope that my efforts will pay off and I'll get there. It's like knowing you're still young enough to have lots of time to get there, but you're not so young to be complacent, so work hard and don't waste time. I think about that a lot. Don't let the time pass, seize control over it.
At 34 I was alone, depressed, and questioning a lot of past decisions in my life. 10 years later, I'm married to the woman of my dreams, have a family, and far more at peace with my past. I'm assuming that you're a man by your handle. One thing I can tell you about being 40 Jonathan, is that it's when a lot of men finally reach their peak. It's when a lot of men finally accomplish some of their biggest goals. I have several friends that felt just like you in that they questioned when their efforts would finally pay off. Most of those guys found out within the next 10 years.
Keep your foot on the pedal my friend, and good things will happen eventually.
I can't rep you anymore, Spider99, but thank you for your beautiful posts and words of encouragement. I worry about death and my health a lot, too. Coincidentally, I met a woman who is 20 years older than me talk to me about the benefits of yoga and how much it changed her life. She said she was very nervous and high strung / driven in her 40s, and if you meet her now, she is very quiet, focused, and at peace with the world around her. I want to get to that point some day, just like your 86 year old grandmother.
30’s some success, but a hunger to be “it”.
40’s striving for more experiences, but still needing to prove myself.
50’s made it, looking for the next level, but broader, not so money focused. More about life and relationships. Setting up the plan to step out and escape career.
For me, where I'm at in life affects more than my age itself does.
For instance, I became a parent for the first time at 38, and for the second time at 40. So much of my perspective on life, myself, my goals, and what's important either shifted or became solidified in a way that they weren't before, once I had tiny people counting on me for their everything.
I also started the process of a major career shift at this same time, coincidentally (had just started my master's program when I got pregnant with kid #1), and that has contributed to a lot of shifts in how I look at things/look at life.
The age isn't so much the determinant factor as the occurrences.
48 here and these last few years have been the worse. I worry about my health a lot and about being a single female at this age. I hope my days become brighter but as for now I have the old lady blues. Oh, and i've been thinking about adopting a cat I guess i'll be the old cat lady.
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I guess i'll be the old cat lady.
