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Therapists usually will say something along the lines of "Without seeing him/her I can't give you an accurate diagnosis, but it sure sounds like that person might be subject to "xxxx". We can't know for sure without testing. Here are some strategies that might help the situation."
You can also say, "This sounds like [_____] behavior...here is some information on dealing with behavior such as this, some people find success employing [____] strategies when confronted with this type of behavior." There is no need to semi-diagnose or turn the focus onto potential diagnoses of people who are not the client. But there is nothing inethical about describing behavior and supporting the client by providing resources for dealing with x behavior.
We are freed from the tyranny and short comings of our parents by our own adulthood
The sooner the better
Move out get a job and live your own life
The opportunity to hate and resent others in the world will abound
Give your parents a rest
The term “Diagnosed” implies both medically & legally that a doctor has utilized diagnostic criteria & critical observations to evaluate a person. A therapist can say: “complaints of suicidal thoughts related to recent job loss & divorce” but only a doctor can say: “Diagnosis: Situational Depression; Severe.”
Tangential, but to correct some misinformation, one need not hold a medical degree to diagnose mental health disorders. It is categorically untrue that only a doctor can say, "Diagnosis: Situational Depression; Severe." It IS true that only someone with a medical degree can prescribe psychiatric medication. But the same does not hold true for mental health diagnoses.
The following are some examples of professionals who can be trained and licensed to provide counseling and assessments and make diagnoses. Some designations go by different titles in different states (for instance, I live in a bistate metro, and on one side of the state line, people who've completed master's level coursework in counseling psych, attained all clinical supervised hours, and successfully completed certification exams are called "licensed professional counselors," while on the other, they're called "licensed master's level psychologists." Same training, different title):
Clinical Social Worker – holds a masters degree in social work from an accredited graduate program. May be/typically is trained to make diagnoses, provide individual and group counseling, and provide case management and advocacy; usually found in the hospital setting.
Licensed Professional Counselor – counselor with a masters degree in psychology, counseling or a related field. Trained to diagnose and provide individual and group counseling across a variety of specializations.
Nurse Psychotherapist – registered nurse who is trained in the practice of psychiatric and mental health nursing. Trained to diagnose and provide individual and group counseling.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist – counselor with a masters degree, with specialized education, focus, and training in marital and family therapy. Trained to diagnose and provide individual and group counseling.
Pastoral Counselor – clergy with training in clinical pastoral education. May be trained to diagnose and provide individual and group counseling.
Clinical psychologists and school psychologists are also able to perform assessments and diagnostics, and they are not medical doctors, though they may hold doctoral degrees.
By contrast, psychiatrists and psychiatric/mental health nurse practitioners all can prescribe medication, as they have received the necessary medical training to do so.
Needless to say, therapists can and do diagnose. Assessments, diagnostics/differential diagnostics, and treatment of disorders are all integral parts of graduate level counseling psych training, and are required to sit for certification. Diagnosing mental health disorders is not something "only a doctor" can do.
In point of fact a medical doctor has NO competence to "diagnose" mental disorders. At all.
Psychiatrists are supposedly trained for such but their training is far far less in this regard than any other kind of therapist, and in fact very few psychiatrists provide any therapy other than drug therapy. Frankly a psychiatrist should be your LAST choice for mental health care.
My opinion is parents owe their children a decent childhood (till 18 years old) without any guilt or bs about you owing them for it, because it was their choice to bring you into the world, not yours. The sort of parent who guilts their adult children is the sort of parent who deserves to be abandoned. May sound harsh but that's my opinion.
My opinion is parents owe their children a decent childhood (till 18 years old) without any guilt or bs about you owing them for it, because it was their choice to bring you into the world, not yours. The sort of parent who guilts their adult children is the sort of parent who deserves to be abandoned. May sound harsh but that's my opinion.
Good point. I would also add that I don’t think it’s appropriate for parents to take responsibility for their kids success and then guilt them over it. Kids are not responsible for their parents happiness or feelings. Abuse, bad behavior, guilting, etc. does not mean the son should respect, love and maintain a relationship with them at the cost of his sanity. I’ve read that physical abuse shows on the outside but mental abuse is just as bad, just the heart is bruised. Thanks for all the comments.
I learned of a quote or saying one time that helps me when trying to analyze how to deal with my dysfunctional family. And that is:
"If you want to be loved, you must be lovable."
My parents aren't lovable - to put it mildly.
Now, I must admit that my daughter won't talk to me. So, the cycle had come around - i don't talk to my mother, and now my daughter doesn't talk to me.
The odd thing is, they both are abusive to me lol. Not saying I was a perfect mother, but I did spoil my daughter rotten, and when I called her out on behaving badly, once she was in her 30's, she simply chose to cut me off.
Just saying, when you're dealing with a dysfunctional family, no matter the generation, you have to first ask yourself - are they acting in a lovable manner? If not, then you aren't required to love them.
You do your best, offer what's fair and rational, and then remember another great quote I got from a psychiatrist I was seeing at one point in my life:
"You can't reason with unreasonable people."
That's probably my most favorite saying of all time. When you are pulling your hair out trying to fairly reason with someone who keeps twisting your words, and deflecting your point by bringing up unrelated stuff into the argument to try to win it - realize that you are not dealing with someone who is being reasonable. And if someone refuses to be reasonable, then there is no way to have a reasonable, rational discussion that can have a reasonable, rational outcome.
Sorry you got a lousy family. It's not your fault. It's not like you chose them.
Some coward who didn't identify themselves sent me a reputation comment, "How can you spoil a child and then expect them to be well-behaved?"
So, coward, do you have any children? Did you raise them perfectly? Do they want to see you all of the time? Never argue with you? Never ask for more than they should? Call constantly asking what they can do for you?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
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