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I have found when I get overly tired I also get depressed easier.
This is a very interesting point. I think I probably do also. Although it could also be the other way around. Depression could make a person feel very tired.
Working far too long at a job/career field I never had any true desire to get into to begin with. And of course the fact that I might've been failing at college courses for the past, 17 years due to myself not being passionate about anything in life. In this case, a degree or certificate program that I would've followed through with and made a decent scratch off of.
An aimless wanderer who forges feigned allegiances just to stay afloat for awhile.
I'm an introvert male and I want to start a family with a nice introvert female but it seems like they are so rare and get snapped up really early. There are a lot more men who want quiet introverts than loud obnoxious party girls...supply demand imbalance. I suppose I could swallow the red pill and sleep with or try to steal one away.... Its against my nature but I know it happens.
I did not take part in the poll because there is a confusion in the OP between sadness and depression. They are not the same thing. Sadness isn't even always a symptom of depression.
Depression is different from sadness, grief and bereavement. The death of a loved one, loss of a job or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such situations. Those experiencing loss often might describe themselves as being “depressed.”
But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process is natural and unique to each individual and shares some of the same features of depression. Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. They are also different in important ways.
The last two paragraphs come from the American Psychiatric Association web site at
It also states that a death of a loved, loss of a job, etc. can bring on major depression. They're not mutually exclusive. The death of a loved one or an end of a close relationship and the major depression that accompanies it can take many years to get over.
I am socially isolated, not by choice, and that is the cause of my depression.
All my life I have been battling the profound effects of childhood emotional neglect and being pawned off on various members of our extended family pretty much all the time. Most of them were nice enough people but they were not my parents. They also didn't understand the full scope of the free babysitting network my mother put together so she wouldn't have to have me around. One time my mother invented an imaginary hospitalization so an aunt and uncle would take me for a week. I didn't even put it all together until years later. I thought all kids got shuttled from pillar to post.
After graduation, I followed my HS boyfriend to college and roomed with another girl. Unfortunately my bf's roommate convinced him to dump me and the idiot dutifully complied, but not before he picked a fight with me in public and slapped me. Karma is a you-know-what: The idiot bf did a stretch in jail not long ago for possession of child pornography. I saw the photo of him in court. The years have not been kind.
In the 1990's I bonded with another gal over our mutual fondness for certain pottery and for years we sold at flea markets together. Those were the best times: talking, laughing and making a little money. Then she and her husband decided Silicon Valley was too expensive (no kidding) and they moved, first to a town south of Portland, then to Boise. I haven't seen her since.
In 2000 I started a business and hired a friend from a previous workplace as part-time help. She perpetually showed up late, cheated on her time sheets and often refused to do what I asked. When I let her go she was angry at me. What they say about never hiring friends is true. She was one of those pretend-friends anyway.
Recently I had almost 2 years of working with my personal trainer. We became close, then she moved to the Midwest. I get it. Nobody stays here for long, it's just too expensive.
So I've been trying to move to a friendlier, more affordable place. I believe I've found that place. DH doesn't want to move and would prefer that I had no friends at all because they would take up some of my time and he wants all of it. But he's not a good friend to me either.
Yesterday I had a disappointment. I had a meet set-up with some people who in part owe their jobs to me, although they don't seem to realize it, and it was my first chance to meet them in person. I was told many people would be on hand because they were excited to get the chance to meet me.
When I got there, I was essentially told to get lost. No explanations, no pleasantries, no "Gee, it's nice to be able to put a face to the name" kind of thing. Not even so much as a Good Morning.
I have sold over $1 million worth of their product.
I'm on the road, so I have a lot of time to think. And what I'm thinking is that if people are really this callous and two-faced and it's a common thing, what's the point? Why go on? Nothing will ever change. Clearly people don't find me worthwhile enough to bother with.
Long segments of Interstate 80 are one way in each direction, meaning I'm separated by a few feet from the traffic coming from the opposite direction. And I keep thinking, All I have to do is just move the steering wheel a tiny bit and an 18-wheeler will take care of the rest.
I actually called the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline this morning. They could not help me. I have had two therapists in two years. They could not help me, either.
I can feel your disappointment with the world. Overwhelming at times, I understand.
You DID HAVE GOOD FRIENDS...it's just that everything changes, people do move or leave our orbit and we are left trying to adjust...it's happened to me too. Not long ago I thought of all the friends I've had but for whatever reason...some I am disconnected from now.
About the meetup...people are callous at times BUT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. It's their problem.
I've thought the steering wheel/truck thing myself.
Have depression and borderline personality disorder, so I get it. Therapy and meds for me...for years.
Do you take meds???
About the hotline....if that was no help, anyone close you can talk to this evening? Like right away? You can talk to us on cd but we're not with you of course.
If you feel suicidal, go to the Emergency Room please!!! Call someone to take you...is husband home?
Last edited by greatblueheron; 08-04-2018 at 03:54 PM..
I'm feeling a bit of anxiety today, first time in a LONG time. So I'm going to take a glass of low sodium V8 with my MSM powder, a good dose of potassium may help. I will not blame the world for my issues, we live in a comfortable country -- I wouldn't want to live on the other side of the world. Low magnesium could be a big issue. Talking to another person on another group and she is always anxious...I mentioned the mag deficiency. Thyroid is so missed too and some may not be taking the correct one and right dose. I'm no doctor but been around health groups for years and my 80 yrs counts for something.
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