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I get a haircut at this place and one of the ladies there made a joke like i had food on my face or something, I just laughed but feel stupid for laughing because its clearly a joke or something about me.. I didn't have food on my face and she even touched my face to wipe off some food like there was something there.. no there wasn't and it isn't funny. You're a stranger to me
Get a haircut in a barber shop.
Older women ( women in general) dont typically frequent those; unless with husband's or SOs.
Don't make eye contact, it implies you're friendly and open to conversation.
Curious how you get along with women your own age?
I used to have this problem when I worked in a bank with mainly older, married women. I was single, on my own and with no kids. For some reason, some of the other women thought they had to "look after me" and I was almost 30 (but I looked young).
The worst was when they felt I should never spend a holiday alone. I finally found some backbone and quit letting myself be pressured into joining holidays, but one woman wasn't having it. When she invited me over for Christmas, I told her thank you and that I had other plans. Her response? "We WILL see you there." I didn't go and she was so ticked she barely spoke to me for the rest of the time I worked there.
That's the problem with letting people mother you. They get totally bent out of shape if you decide not to play child to their parent role. When they decide to mother someone, they really mean mother. As in, they treat you like you're five years old and they want to make all your decisions for you. Sometimes I think these women are just trying to relive a time when their own kids were young.
I used to have this problem when I worked in a bank with mainly older, married women. I was single, on my own and with no kids. For some reason, some of the other women thought they had to "look after me" and I was almost 30 (but I looked young).
The worst was when they felt I should never spend a holiday alone. I finally found some backbone and quit letting myself be pressured into joining holidays, but one woman wasn't having it. When she invited me over for Christmas, I told her thank you and that I had other plans. Her response? "We WILL see you there." I didn't go and she was so ticked she barely spoke to me for the rest of the time I worked there.
That's the problem with letting people mother you. They get totally bent out of shape if you decide not to play child to their parent role. When they decide to mother someone, they really mean mother. As in, they treat you like you're five years old and they want to make all your decisions for you. Sometimes I think these women are just trying to relive a time when their own kids were young.
Don't share your personal life at work! When you do, its opens the door.
I'd imagine their kids have probably shut down mom too.
Could this be some form of passive aggressive power play? These women appear to want to mother you, but in reality are putting you down in public by controlling and manipulating your emotions. Are some of these women co-workers? If so, they might see you as competition. What to do? Ignore them. Or play along as in "Do you have any daughters that are my age that are still virgins?"
Could this be some form of passive aggressive power play? These women appear to want to mother you, but in reality are putting you down in public by controlling and manipulating your emotions. Are some of these women co-workers? If so, they might see you as competition. What to do? Ignore them. Or play along as in "Do you have any daughters that are my age that are still virgins?"
That's my point, this is a psychological tactic even if they don't know what they're doing
I feel embarrassed because it makes me feel like they're saying look at this guy he must need some attention etc...
Just wait until you're a widower and the 40-70-year-old set brings you casseroles.
I had something similar happen to me at my first job after college. Only instead of an older widower, I was 22 and single. I did internal tech support in the IT department, and I was the youngest person in IT. The marketing department was mostly women 50+. They had this thing once a week, where they'd order a Lou Malnati's pizza (a well-known Chicago chain). After they got to know me, whenever I got dispatched to their department during lunch, they'd offer me a slice.
IT ate their lunch at a different time than most departments (I ate mine later), so we could work on people's computers during downtime. Which meant Marketing ate when I didn't. Maybe my "bright eyed and bushy tailed" young self reminded them of their kids or grandkids, or maybe they feared I subsisted on ramen noodles and Dollar Menu burgers, I don't know. But they'd always offer me to share in the pizza.
In a way, I probably did it to myself, by talking openly about my fresh-out-of-college life. As opposed to being more secretive about my personal life, or even fibbing a little, like I do today. At first, I accepted food without question, and of course, thanked them. But after it became a regular thing, my conscience started to gnaw at me, because I felt like I was freeloading. So I insisted on pitching in fairly, or occasionally declined to partake. They pushed back at first, but I told them I didn't feel right taking the food without contributing.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 09-16-2018 at 09:59 AM..
Don't share your personal life at work! When you do, its opens the door.
I'd imagine their kids have probably shut down mom too.
I wasn't thinking when someone would ask me what I planned to do for the holidays (doesn't everyone get asked that?). One little mistake...but that's how you learn.
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