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I'm what you would call a late bloomer. I did well in high school, but when I entered college I did very poorly. I tried to stick it out, and spiraled into a depression. When all of my classmates from high school started graduating from college I sunk even further.
I was thankfully able to crawl out of this depression after 3 years. I finished college 2 years after that, 9 years from when I started. Jobs were not in a consistent field, and 3 years ago is when I finally got on what I would say a career track. I had a lucky break, got leadership experience, and am now making three times what I was 3 years ago. Nevertheless, I can't stop feeling like such a failure from what I did in my twenties. I can barely look at LinkedIn as it depresses me to see what careers and experience the people from high school have had. I know I should shrug it off and focus on the positive present I have, but my past just has such a strong hold on me. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice.
In cases like yours I believe it's all about attitude and perspective. Just think about the following whenever you feel yourself feeling regret about your 20s.
1. There's absolutely NOTHING you or anybody else can do to turn back time not matter how badly you want to.
2. Regretting your past will not help you one bit in your present or future.
3. You're doing well now, which is all that matters in your life.
4. Every single person on this Earth follows a different path in life. No two are exactly the same.
5. Take your experience in your 20s, even though it may have been negative, and learn from it.
6. I assume you're still pretty young, maybe 30s? You really have your whole life ahead of you. Concentrate on the present and future.
7. In no way are you any sort of failure because you went through a rough patch in life
8. You only live once, enjoy it as much as possible, which you seem to be doing now.
9. Just think of all the other people who would rather be in your shoes.
It really is a mental thing. You just have to move forward. Life's a journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. It's not like at the end of life everyone turns in a scorecard. Just concentrate on living your life to the fullest and put the past where it belongs, in the past. Good luck.
You should not feel regret, shame, or any guilt. You should be proud of puling it together, and getting to where you are today.....even if it's not the greatest, you are ahead of the game.....Congrats on your path moving forward.
^ What they all said. I've kind of done it backwards. I had a couple of mediocre jobs a couple years after I graduated college at 22 because it's difficult to find something decent fresh out of school. I got my first "real" job at 24 and stayed there 6 years. Ever since then, it's been job jumping every year or 2 due to buyouts, companies about to go under, taking jobs as a result of desperation from the aforementioned reasons because I needed a paycheck....but hated them; so I'd quit to find the next thing that paid the same salary, etc. Now I feel stagnated in my late 30s. I've made approximately the same amount of money I did 5 years ago, and every job has been a dead end. No, I don't want to climb the corporate ladder, but I'd like to work somewhere and build on my skill set to really feel like I've accomplished something.
You have time. Find something interesting. Your passion won't always pay the bills, so find something tolerable where you don't dread Mondays, you feel accomplished, and you make an adequate salary for a comfortable life. Live within or below your means so you're not a slave to a certain wage/job.
Who cares about their 20s? No one! I made a **lot** of mistakes in my career in my 20s, and don't regret a single thing because it made me what I am today.
My big two mistakes I made in my 20s:
1) being so lackadaisical about work at the age of 23 that I got fired from a job after only 11 months.
Result: around age 27 I finally "grew up" and was determined to give only my very best at all times
Result: some of the best work experiences in my 30s and 40s
2) Partying a LOT during the two years after I got fired and barely earning any money as a result
Result: in my late 20s I got a full-time job and became serious about earning/saving versus spending everything
Result: focused on retirement savings and now working on a nice little nest egg for when I eventually retire
I'm now almost 50 and if people from the 1990s could see me now, they'd be surprised that I'm considered a model employee, a valuable asset to any team, and someone who goes above and beyond my job description to ensure success for everyone.
You've begun that journey - you said you've tripled your salary in three years. That's a tremendous achievement and something to be proud of. It's only up from here as you continue to build your work history and career, OP!
You have a degree, so be proud of that. Are you going to LinkedIn for any legitimate purpose, or just to make yourself feel bad? Our experiences shape who we are. That's just how it is. Perhaps a therapist can help you work through this so you can stop dwelling on it.
Don't feel bad. It is where you go in life and what you do and accomplish over your lifetime that matters, not what happened to you over a specific period of time in the past. A lot of people start well and then later tumble down professionally. Be grateful that it is the other way around for you. Plan your present and future, not your past.
I was also a late bloomer but became a major success in my chosen career and am now a retiree. I look back at my career and accomplishments with pride. It wasn't easy, but I surpassed all the goals that I had set for myself when I was in my early 20s. Look to the future, not the past!
I had a similar path. I graduated college in 4.5 years but had no idea what to do with my life, so I was a bartender and worked part time at a beer and wine store. This life was so much fun I stuck with it until my late 20's. It was an odd time, I would feel like a screw up as all my friends had real jobs and Dave was playing golf 4 times a week. But I also was having a blast.
A few years ago I had some really scary medical news. It turned out OK but it make me reflect. I thought back at those years and had absolutely no regret, nobody lies on their death bed wishing they had less fun. But my situation may be different than yours, sounds like you had the screw up feeling but are not having the "had blast" feeling as well.
To summarize you should not regret your past. I turned out just fine and you appear to be doing so as well.
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