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I think there’s a lot of people you may be putting under the materialistic category when they are actually accumulators but really not materialistic. My grandparents kept every jelly jar, Margerine container, foil pan they ever got their hands on. My grandmother would carefully remove the tape when opening gifts so she could re-use the paper. That came not from materialism, but from having been through the Depression where even little things were hard to come by. They had a ton of crap in their home. But materialistic? Not in the slightest. Their clothes and even furniture came from discount stores even though they had enough money to buy nice things.
My mother, brother and I grew up with my grandparents and now spend our lives trying to make ourselves throw things out. Like most things, childhood experiences shape who we are.
Do you ever wonder why they never changed their way of thinking?
We were having a discussion about this the other day.
A person with a common name in our town is running for office. My relative said no way is it XYZ, must be another XYZ. He would NEVER do that. I asked why not? Why can't he change. She said people don't change (well she doesn't) I was vindicated and it was him.
I can see both sides of the argument. I don't buy "stuff" just to buy something. I do have a substantial collection of tools, but they rarely go bad and I use them often. I would love a 2 bedroom + office, 2 1/2 bath house with about a 5 car garage. That would be perfect!
I think for some people it's a sensory issue. I tend to get overwhelmed by "too much"...too much noise, too much stuff, too much of anything. So I tend to constantly purge my house, I wear very simple clothing, I rarely buy anything that isn't a necessity. Shopping gives me a headache. Even online sometimes.
But some people really enjoy the sensory experience of stuff. They may love decorating their homes, they may love fashion, collecting things, trying new makeup, hairstyles, you name it. They love shopping, going out, seeing and touching everything.
One can look "minimalist" and still be materialistic. One can enjoy a more maximalist approach and not be materialistic. Materialistic to me is more about judging others and wanting to be seen as a certain way.
I spent years traveling for work and living in hotels. Call me weird but i enjoyed the simplicity of that
You're not weird at all. I'm the same way.
There's something calming about opening the door to your room and seeing that everything is neatly arranged and nothing out of place. There's very little that's superfluous.
Another part of it for me is that if I'm traveling alone, which I usually am, I have complete control over the space while I'm there. There's no one bringing in boxes full of stuff which they spread all over the sofa, easy chair, coffee table, bed, etc.
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My roommate is a semi hoarder. Buys, buys and buys. Then forgets what he has or where it is.
Maybe it is the difference between a generalist and a specialist.
Years ago, when I would go stay with Mom for a while, I would load the Subaru with various backpacks, confident that for any problem, I could find the odds and ends to solve it.
It is curious that we are talking about this in psychology for it was psychology where I learned about the specialist and the generalist personality. Equally, it was psychology where I learned about the shotgun approach to things, where we try many different approaches and see which one works.
In a way, it is sort of like Robert Ballard when he discovered the hot vents underwater. There were many experts on the Woods Hole ship, trying to come up with a theory from what they learned as undergrads. How does that relate? As I look at the shelves of books I have, I see answers everywhere.
In between the extremes is my understanding of these things. I never wanted to judge anyone by their accumulation of things and I never cared if I was judged on these by others (clothing, car, etc.) I consider someone materialistic (a pejorative to me) if they judge self and others by stuff and things, whether high or low accumulations.
Some telemarketer was trying to sell me on some kind of discounted accumulation plan and I said, "In the end, whoever dies with the most toys..."
Do you ever wonder why they never changed their way of thinking?
We were having a discussion about this the other day.
A person with a common name in our town is running for office. My relative said no way is it XYZ, must be another XYZ. He would NEVER do that. I asked why not? Why can't he change. She said people don't change (well she doesn't) I was vindicated and it was him.
So i wonder why can't others?
It's not on that conscious a level. It's ingrained. I think most of us have to fight to overcome childhood programming. If you grow up with a parent who instilled low self-esteem, you're not going to grow up and become confient simply by changing what you think. The patterns we learn as children and repeat throughout life are s struggle to overcome and never completely go away. improvement isn't possible, but in my experience it's taken a lifetime of work and self-awareness, and for me having my "things" are a way of easing anxiety. Every day when I go to work, I bring a rolling case, with a small cooler on top of it, and a giant purse. I used to bring a backpack too, but some of the residents starting asking me if I was going camping when they saw me leave work. So I was able to cut back some, but again it is a struggle. I simply don't feel "safe" without my things in close reach (snacks, bandages, extra cords and power chargers, notebooks and pens, extra reading glasses, OTC medicines, tissues, concealer, etc, etc etc).
The long-winded point is I know, I am very well aware, that this is odd, and that I should be able to work for 8 hours without taking "luggage",,,,but easier said than done. Simply being aware of an issue, whether it's shyness, insecurity, anxiety, etc, does not change it. The best we can do is be aware of our motives for every action we take (or don't) and see if it's actually rational, and if not, change it. Some things I will never change though. I will never ever be the girl who can take a backpack on a week long trip. But I can cut down from 2 checked bags, the biggest carry on I can get away with and a giant purse to one checked bag plus the other things, lol. Perfection in progress is the saying, lol.
But most people are not as self-aware as I am, nor do they all want to be or think there is any issue. At the heart though accumulators and often spenders are repeating learned behavior that eases anxiety temporarily for that person.
I'm not saying I can reason with myself and throw away the jar, (not a bag with handles though, those I keep lol) but my subconscious pull is going to be on keeping it.
I love collecting the things I love to collect and if I had the money, I'd have dollhouses, model horses, books and the like all over the place. Maybe I'd have my own museum, I don't know. I have no doubt that if I had the money, I'd also find other things to collect.
I don't know why, but I want so many things. I wish I wasn't a wanter, but I am. My mom tells me not to get her anything for Christmas because she has everything she needs. I may have everything I need as well, but ask what I'd like for Christmas and I could give you a list a mile long and most of those items would be under ten dollars. Of course, if you asked me, I could also give you another list three miles long for things that cost over $100. And up. LOL
I love collecting the things I love to collect and if I had the money, I'd have dollhouses, model horses, books and the like all over the place. Maybe I'd have my own museum, I don't know. I have no doubt that if I had the money, I'd also find other things to collect.
I don't know why, but I want so many things. I wish I wasn't a wanter, but I am. My mom tells me not to get her anything for Christmas because she has everything she needs. I may have everything I need as well, but ask what I'd like for Christmas and I could give you a list a mile long and most of those items would be under ten dollars. Of course, if you asked me, I could also give you another list three miles long for things that cost over $100. And up. LOL
It really boils down to what joy you get from your surroundings. You can’t take minimalist stuff with you anymore than you can take lots of stuff , so what difference does it make, enjoy.
My friend is surrounded with books and beads/fabrics and you need a gps to find where she is in her house, it’s chaos but she is HAPPY. I couldn’t live like that ( except in my studio) BUT I loved going to her house and seeing the glint of utter joy she got from all her things.
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