Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP, re-read your post. Yes, the mod cut something, but it's clearly indicated where she cut (probably 1 profane word), and that is NOT the confusing part of your first post.
You have boldfaced the last sentence of the first paragraph, which is written as if YOU are stating that "the childfree moment [movement???] is a joke" -- but then the very next paragraph is 1 sentence that says "That's not true and is a ridiculous thing to say" -- but the way you've written it makes it sound like you have made BOTH statements, which of course makes no sense at all.
And then the NEXT paragraph is written as though YOU are saying that your DD (dear daughter) had a tubal ligation at 27 -- but obviously that's not what you MEANT because you later said you are 33?
So I am thinking you were (badly) quoting posts from some other forum about the childfree movement (not moment) but forgot to use quotation marks or something?
You're blaming a mod, but it's clear where the mod cut from, and it's NOT the confusing parts that YOU apparently wrote.
So again, OP, please re-read the first post that you wrote in this thread, forgetting the part that the mod cut ... it makes no sense at all, as written. Please re-word it so that it makes sense -- i.e., so that it's clear when you are quoting OTHERS and when you are saying something yourself, so that you don't sound like YOU are saying you have a 27-year-old daughter -- because THAT is what you wrote. (Somehow I don't think the mod is to blame for that statement ...)
For the last time I didn't write that
The mod edited my post and bolded that part too this is ridiculous
I get that some of you are happy without kids, but I'm not. I live in a town where it's pretty mu j all families and that doesn't help matters. Making friends IS harder and I've lost friends when they got pregnant and decided they had nothing in common with me anymore. I have a big problem with the childfree movement because of some of the hateful rhetoric I see against people with children and children themselves.
Um actually I have a ton of friends and am child free. My friends with kids often complain to me that they have lost friends since having kids, and I work very hard to maintain my ties with them and plan kid friendly activities. I had so many complaints, I’ve actually thought about starting a moms networking group even though I don’t have kids.
For the last time I didn't write that
The mod edited my post and bolded that part too this is ridiculous
The mod boldfaced something that YOU had not boldfaced? Um, I don't think so, especially knowing this particular mod ...
Did she also make it sound as though you were writing contradictory statements? (Sorry, doesn't seem likely.)
But if that is really the case, please re-write the OP exactly how you originally wrote it (minus the profanity, which is all that the mod appears to have removed). As far as I can see the mod took out just 1 word and left everything else exactly as you wrote it, but since you are insisting that is not the case, please re-write it as you originally did (again, minus the profanity) so we can understand what you were trying to say, OK?
Just for the heck of it, I looked up famous autistic people. From there, I looked up a couple of them individually, to see if they had children.
Dan Aykroyd has 3 daughters. The oldest is a musician, the second one is an actress, and the youngest is a brand ambassador for Aykroyd's Vodka brand.
Tim Burton has 2 children. Bill Raymond Burton is 15, and Nell Burton is 11 yrs. old. Both have been in Tim Burton movies
Bill Gates has 3 kids. Jennifer, born in 1996. She's an aclaimed equestrian. Rory John, is 19 and a student. Phoebe Adele was born in 2002, and still attending school.
Thomas Jefferson had 6 children by his wife. However, only 2 of them survived to adulthood.
Jerry Seinfeld has 3 kids. 2 boys and a girl. The oldest is 17. Still in school.
You can't argue that these people are not successful, and managed to raise families. I will presume the families are happy and well adjusted, unless you can provide links that say different.
It would be pointless to say they're not successful, besides which, success and being famous is not the issue. Here is a bigger list of successful people on the spectrum https://www.abadegreeprograms.net/su...tism-spectrum/ Careful scrutiny would show you they all share obsessiveness and weird quirks among other common traits of autism but that doesn't necessarily negate success for these folks. The only reason we know who they are is because they are successful and have made names for themselves. They are the EXCEPTIONS, not the norm.
Which leaves the question - how many non-successful, non-famous people are there who also have autism/Asperger? Multiple thousands more.
Of the successful ones listed above, the ones who are married and had children probably left the bulk of the parenting to their more parentally capable non-spectrum spouses or to people who they hired to help them in raising their children. After all, they could afford the services, couldn't they? And it still remains to be seen if they have passed on their autism to their children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren, if that kind of privy information will ever be released. It doesn't matter though, since whether they are famous and successful or not is not the issue and not up for question - but knowingly passing on the disorder is the issue.
What matters is if they were diagnosed in adult life after already producing children then they can't be faulted for not being conscientious about passing on a disorder they didn't know they had when they had children. However, if any of them already had the diagnosis and knew they were on the spectrum and went ahead and produced children anyway, knowing they were passing on a serious handicap, then they are not conscientious and no amount of fame, talent and success in other areas will excuse the disfavour and potential difficulties they have left as a legacy for their offspring, or for their offspring's offspring in the cases of skipped generations.
I still contend that anyone on the spectrum or who has parents or grandparents or other blood relatives on the spectrum should not be producing children regardless of their other station in life.
It would be pointless to say they're not successful, besides which, success and being famous is not the issue. Here is a bigger list of successful people on the spectrum https://www.abadegreeprograms.net/su...tism-spectrum/ Careful scrutiny would show you they all share obsessiveness and weird quirks among other common traits of autism but that doesn't necessarily negate success for these folks. The only reason we know who they are is because they are successful and have made names for themselves.
Which leaves the question - how many non-successful, non-famous people are there who also have autism/Asperger? Multiple thousands more.
Of the successful ones listed above, the ones who are married and had children probably left the bulk of the parenting to their more parentally capable non-spectrum spouses or to people who they hired to help them in raising their children. After all, they could afford the services, couldn't they? And it still remains to be seen if they have passed on their autism to their children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren, if that kind of privy information will ever be released. It doesn't matter though, since whether they are famous and successful or not is not the issue and not up for question - but knowingly passing on the disorder is the issue.
What matters is if they were diagnosed in adult life after already producing children then they can't be faulted for not being conscientious about passing on a disorder they didn't know they had when they had children. However, if any of them already had the diagnosis and knew they were on the spectrum and went ahead and produced children anyway, knowing they were passing on a serious handicap, then they are not conscientious and no amount of fame, talent and success in other areas will excuse the disfavor they have left as a legacy for their offspring or offspring's offspring in the cases of skipped generations.
I still contend that anyone on the spectrum or who has parents or grandparents or other blood relatives on the spectrum should not be producing children regardless of their other station in life.
.
Everyone has something. Deaf people have children. Diabetics have children. Blind people have children. People with Cancer have children. We ALL bring deficits to the table.
With MY examples, I got specific. You are not being specific, and making a very broad generalization, saying that autistic/Asperger's fail at life, and will pass on defective genes to their kids. That's kind offensive.
We all know autism is a spectrum disorder. Clearly, there are those who don't function very well at all. Sure, there are those closed off to the world, and need highly specialized help. The liklihood of them dating, and reproducing is slim...unless molested.
But there's a whole heck of a lot that have successful lives, and they're as entitled as anyone else to have children.
Um actually I have a ton of friends and am child free. My friends with kids often complain to me that they have lost friends since having kids, and I work very hard to maintain my ties with them and plan kid friendly activities. I had so many complaints, I’ve actually thought about starting a moms networking group even though I don’t have kids.
I was in a women’s alumni/networking group in my last city and a lot of women in that group (particularly the younger women with children) had similar complaints. They wanted to hang out with other professional women to do interesting activities that weren’t 100% mommy and me focused as the alumni group tended to have a lot of activities that involved watching sports and drinking, which was also not entirely up the alley of most of the women in the group regardless of marital/child status.
Everyone has something. Deaf people have children. Diabetics have children. Blind people have children. People with Cancer have children. We ALL bring deficits to the table.
With MY examples, I got specific. You are not being specific, and making a very broad generalization, saying that autistic/Asperger's fail at life, and will pass on defective genes to their kids. That's kind offensive.
We all know autism is a spectrum disorder. Clearly, there are those who don't function very well at all. Sure, there are those closed off to the world, and need highly specialized help. The liklihood of them dating, and reproducing is slim...unless molested.
But there's a whole heck of a lot that have successful lives, and they're as entitled as anyone else to have children.
I don't believe that having a sense of entitlement is a good enough excuse for taking a 50/50 chance of producing children that will not be handicapped.
My dd didn't want children from the time she was a little girl. She's 27 and has had a tubal ligation. If she was really "just envious of parents", why would she have done that?
I'm sorry you want children and don't have any, I really am. I wanted more than one, and I didn't get to have them, but don't make up things about other people that aren't true.
was my post in response to the OP, not the OP's. Either somehow in the editing process the indicators that it was a separate post must have been lost, or else I hit "Edit" instead of "Quote".
Obviously the 33-year-old OP does not have a 27-year-old child.
OP, re-read your post. Yes, the mod cut something, but it's clearly indicated where she cut (probably 1 profane word), and that is NOT the confusing part of your first post.
You have boldfaced the last sentence of the first paragraph, which is written as if YOU are stating that "the childfree moment [movement???] is a joke" -- but then the very next paragraph is 1 sentence that says "That's not true and is a ridiculous thing to say" -- but the way you've written it makes it sound like you have made BOTH statements, which of course makes no sense at all.
And then the NEXT paragraph is written as though YOU are saying that your DD (dear daughter) had a tubal ligation at 27 -- but obviously that's not what you MEANT because you later said you are 33?
So I am thinking you were (badly) quoting posts from some other forum about the childfree movement (not moment) but forgot to use quotation marks or something?
You're blaming a mod, but it's clear where the mod cut from, and it's NOT the confusing parts that YOU apparently wrote.
So again, OP, please re-read the first post that you wrote in this thread, forgetting the part that the mod cut ... it makes no sense at all, as written. Please re-word it so that it makes sense -- i.e., so that it's clear when you are quoting OTHERS and when you are saying something yourself, so that you don't sound like YOU are saying you have a 27-year-old daughter -- because THAT is what you wrote. (Somehow I don't think the mod is to blame for that statement ...)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady
For the last time I didn't write that
The mod edited my post and bolded that part too this is ridiculous
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012
The mod boldfaced something that YOU had not boldfaced? Um, I don't think so, especially knowing this particular mod ...
Did she also make it sound as though you were writing contradictory statements? (Sorry, doesn't seem likely.)
But if that is really the case, please re-write the OP exactly how you originally wrote it (minus the profanity, which is all that the mod appears to have removed). As far as I can see the mod took out just 1 word and left everything else exactly as you wrote it, but since you are insisting that is not the case, please re-write it as you originally did (again, minus the profanity) so we can understand what you were trying to say, OK?
OP, MY APOLOGIES!!!!!!!!!! In many years of posting on C-D I have never seen an original post changed to the degree that yours was. All the rest of us had to go on was the original post that we all saw, which didn't make much sense; it had ONE mod notation, from PJ Saturn (who has been a mod for a long time -- I could not understand her doing what you said had been done), which was clearly simply to delete a profane word. That was the ONLY notation that a mod had changed ANYTHING, although clearly a different mod HAD (unintentionally) changed MANY things with no notation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
Note: I have corrected the original post.
This:
That's not true and is a ridiculous thing to say.
My dd didn't want children from the time she was a little girl. She's 27 and has had a tubal ligation. If she was really "just envious of parents", why would she have done that?
I'm sorry you want children and don't have any, I really am. I wanted more than one, and I didn't get to have them, but don't make up things about other people that aren't true.
was my post in response to the OP, not the OP's. Either somehow in the editing process the indicators that it was a separate post must have been lost, or else I hit "Edit" instead of "Quote".
Obviously the 33-year-old OP does not have a 27-year-old child.
Carry on.
MQ, could you please (1) put your post (the one I just quoted, post #69 as of right now) in RED, as mod comments are supposed to be (I tried to do that when I quoted you, but it didn't work) so it is very clear that you are speaking as a mod, so people will hopefully see it and understand why so much of this thread makes no sense at all -- i.e., because we were responding to things the OP had not actually written? And/or maybe (2), just delete this thread and start a new one for the OP with her original post (minus the profane word) so people can actually respond to what she wrote?
At this point, so many have responded to things that were NOT what she wrote -- it has gotten very confusing. (And MQ, I don't mean to pick on you -- I like so many of your posts, as you know. But this was a pretty bad error because it COMPLETELY changed what the OP was writing. )
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
