Why do people always confuse me for someone else? [MERGED]
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Are you also obese? Slender people sometimes lump all heavy people into one category whether they are 50 lbs overweight or 150 lbs overweight. At a business conference, someone confused me with another woman who was 100 lbs heavier than me and my feelings were hurt. Later I decided that I was just being silly to let it bother me so much.
You I’m overweight about 40 lbs. I weight about 170 she weighs over 300 (she told me this). We are about the same height. She also has olive skin and thin hair. Mine is long and thick and I’m more pale. Her sister that people confuse me with are similar weight but carry it different. Also have different hair and different features.
Feel depressed because so many people confuse me for my friend
My husband and a few relatives talk about how unattractive she is and can’t understand how anyone can say I look like her. So when people say we look so similar or confuse me with her or have people ask if we are sisters it upsets me. Considering that people I know well think she is unattractive. She likes to always tell people how people think we look alike. Regardless of looks we don’t have any of the same features so I don’t get it. She has a long big face and I don’t. She has very large lips like Angelina Jolie and I don’t. I have big eyes and hers are not (yet people will say we both have big pretty eyes). She has thin medium length hair. Mine is long and thick. Sometimes gets frizzy. We have different body shapes. The only similarity is hair and eye color. It’s weird though that nobody thinks she is me. Just that I’m her. They call me by her name or always say how is your sister (meaning her sister not mine). Then when I say I’m not her they will say oh sorry you just look so similar.
It's not always related to the looking. It could relate to the character and the way of speaking and acting.
In your case:
- I find it hard to believe that your relatives confuse between you and her so that they think you are she. But other people who are out of this circle might confuse.
- Don't let the others know that you are bothered of this issue. Otherwise, they would exploit it PURPOSELY just to make you annoyed.
- If she's unattractive according to your relatives & husband's eyes, it will not make her unattractive for all people. The one who truly loves her, will find her the most beautiful girl in the world. If you talk about looking/appearance, she might have some features that not beautiful for them but on the other hand she must have other beautiful features that makes her attractive.
- You mentioned hair and eyes color; also she's your friend that I think they used to see you together in several occasions. In addition, if you both have some overweight, or both are thin. This would improve their assumption to think that you are relatives or sisters just because of these few things.
-You don't need to do anything, just have a self-confidence of yourself. If she's a good person and friend, no need to care about their opinions.
Quote:
She likes to always tell people how people think we look alike
About this point, you can tell her politely to stop doing this because it might have a role in their confusion.
Maybe you could ask some of the people who mistake you what they think looks similar. If you ask in a curious and lighthearted manner they will probably tell you. Something like - Yeh, others have said that, but you know I dont' see it, and it's so funny so I have to ask.... and see if they say if it is your coloring, or your expressions, at least you will have some idea straight from them. Sometimes it is just ONE feature that gets people thinking like this, like a nose or eye shape.
It's not always related to the looking. It could relate to the character and the way of speaking and acting.
This is true. Sometimes it can be more mysterious than that: very similar energy, perhaps mannerisms, IDK. When I visit a certain friend, cashiers in stores and other strangers ask us if we're sisters. We look absolutely nothing alike, lol! She's blonde, I'm brunette. She has a small round face with blue eyes, I have a heart-shaped face, hazel eyes. We're about the same height, that's it. This has happened enough times, that we're a little spooked by it.
People used to confuse me and another woman I worked with. We both had similar work roles, so people would say things like, "Oh remember we were in that meeting for Project X and..." but I didn't do, project X, "Sue" did.
She is heavier than I am and she walks with a cane, and I don't, so at first I wondered how they could confuse us, but in some ways we are the same type. We were both in our fifties at the time, both taller than normal women, glasses, reddish-brown hair, similar sense of humor. The people who were confusing us were usually male engineers, and THEY are often a similar type who can be confused with one another. I could nit-pick further and point out that I am three inches taller than she is and my hair is wavy and hers is straight, but people see a whole picture, not the details.
It happened so often that we laughed about it. But the point is that there are "types" of ways people look. It's why people like me who aren't really into celebrities have trouble telling the actress who is popular this month from the one who was popular two months ago.
I used to get this a lot but eventually realized that it's sometimes a false ploy by people who just want interaction. I did have one woman--with her boyfriend at the time--who swore I was an ex of hers and was joking with her when I politely insisted I wasn't.
My husband and a few relatives talk about how unattractive she is and can’t understand how anyone can say I look like her. So when people say we look so similar or confuse me with her or have people ask if we are sisters it upsets me. Considering that people I know well think she is unattractive. She likes to always tell people how people think we look alike. Regardless of looks we don’t have any of the same features so I don’t get it. She has a long big face and I don’t. She has very large lips like Angelina Jolie and I don’t. I have big eyes and hers are not (yet people will say we both have big pretty eyes). She has thin medium length hair. Mine is long and thick. Sometimes gets frizzy. We have different body shapes. The only similarity is hair and eye color. It’s weird though that nobody thinks she is me. Just that I’m her. They call me by her name or always say how is your sister (meaning her sister not mine). Then when I say I’m not her they will say oh sorry you just look so similar.
Maybe you just see in the mirror what you want to see. Maybe you don't want to see the similarity so your subconscious doesn't register it.
Maybe you could ask some of the people who mistake you what they think looks similar. If you ask in a curious and lighthearted manner they will probably tell you. Something like - Yeh, others have said that, but you know I dont' see it, and it's so funny so I have to ask.... and see if they say if it is your coloring, or your expressions, at least you will have some idea straight from them. Sometimes it is just ONE feature that gets people thinking like this, like a nose or eye shape.
Good points.
Or maybe you dress in similar styled clothes. At one of my former jobs most of the women wore slacks almost all the time, but there were two women who almost always wore skirts or dresses. They looked nothing alike. One was overweight and the other was not. One had short hair and the other had long hair. One wore glasses and the other did not. But, people frequently called them by the wrong name. Usually it was a situation where someone saw them from behind and called out to them or they was walking quickly by so the person did not get a good look at their face. But, if it was a woman wearing a skirt or dress at work 95% of the time it was Sally or Joan. Luckily, it never bothered either of them. In fact they often had a good chuckle about it.
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Feel depressed because so many people confuse me for my friend
