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Whenever you see stories about prostitutes porn stars or any kind of sex workers 99.9% of them were molested as children.
What is the exact pyschology behind that?
Is it strictly to normalize sex by having it as much as possible to make it seem like what happened to them as children wasn’t a big deal?
Is it to recreate what happened to them as kids but take the power back from their abuser in their minds by having a lot of sex?
My instincts say it is this one, plus the fact that that was what they were raised to believe that was what the were worth, and that that was what could make people like them more.
My instincts say it is this one, plus the fact that that was what they were raised to believe that was what the were worth, and that that was what could make people like them more.
Yup. That was the value system they were raised with. They thought that's what was valued in life, so they grew up thinking that's what life is all about.
I mean, you can claim that sex work is not normal, as in, it's not the most common thing...but it's not called the "world's oldest profession" for nothing.
I think that there's as much daylight between the actual experiences and psychology of actual sex workers and the women they get for "stories" like documentaries for the normies to cluck and clutch pearls over...as there is between actual stoners and reefer madness films.
Well. But it depends.
First off though, it really peeves me your constant victim blaming and victim shaming. Using psychology as a way to work out how someone is broken and pathologize them so you can support your "Clean life versus the tragedies of the scum" narrative, with a big dash of frustrated savior to season the stew... it's really tiresome as hell.
That out of the way.
I have known some porn stars, though in fairness the ones I've met tend to be very successful niche people who also do other kinds of performance art, tend to be financially affluent people, some have written books or gone on to be "sex educators" and that's why I met them...they were at conventions I attended. And they have about the same vibe as some yoga guru hippie person. Very peaceful, fun sense of humor, seem like they are living their best life. Surprisingly wholesome vibes. Happy people.
I know most have some sort of intense need to insist that there's got to be something horribly WRONG with them just because they do something that you would never, and that you have ~opinions~ about... And while I'm sure that exists, I'm also sure it's not the rule or even as common as you think. It's not 90+% I don't think, especially in porn. Though I do believe that some very significant portion of people featured in porn are actually coerced, exploited or trafficked, and there is nothing OK about that. But people in those situations did not freely CHOOSE to be. They didn't wake up one morning and decide to go find some sleazebag to sign on to make porn with, or go shopping for a pimp.
I think that a ton of women who do the more low level kinds of sex work, were in some kind of vulnerable state as older teens or young adults. And while childhood trauma might have been part of that, it's not, necessarily. And I don't like too much focus on that, as it's part of a lot of people's just world fallacy BS that "well, I raise my kids right so I have control over what kind of people they'll be for sure"...only to a point, and not like ya think. And, too, I have known plenty of people who were victims of childhood sexual abuse who never went anywhere near sex work. But the kind of vulnerable situations that lead people to be exploited...I mean...drugs, alcohol, teen runaways (who may not be fleeing serious abuse, even), untreated mental health issues, poverty, you name it...
When I was 18, I was dirt poor. For a short time, I needed to get assistance. So one day I was leaving the DHS office where I'd been applying for help with childcare costs, pushing my baby in a stroller. We were crossing the parking lot to head for the sidewalk on the other side. And a scummy lookin' dude pulled up nearby and told me that I "had the look" and should sign up with him to be a model for his "photography business." Tried to give me a business card. Well. I was no fool, my stranger danger alarms were going off, and I high tailed it away and did not interact with him. But I'd bet you anything I was not the only impoverished young mother he tried to get with that.
I was never molested as a kid.
I have also never been a porn star or sex worker...probably more due to hangups I have about money, honestly. The idea of trading sex for money pushes negative emotional buttons for me because I had family members who were nasty on the subject of money, always guilting and manipulating and using each other about it... Money is a touchy subject in my family history and psychology. Sex...not so much. I "normalized sex" in my life from about 14, mostly going after inexperienced boys in high school...I think I overheard some boys talking about girls once and decided that what was good for the gander could be good for the goose. I found it amusing to hook up with virgin guys. Not because I had "trauma" or some heeeavy childhood psych thing deviating me from purity or whatever, but because it was FUN. I liked fun. And, like many teens, I also enjoyed my share of edginess and high drama.
I know, people still struggle with the idea that female persons can enjoy sex. We still have a lot of Victorian nonsense lurking in our culture, that sex, for women, should be viewed as perhaps an unpleasant necessity to keeping a man or having a child, or at best something we arrive at blushing and reluctant and a little afraid. But it's not sick or abnormal for a woman to enjoy sex, to not be scared or timid or shameful about it. Sorry/not-sorry, if that bothers you or anyone.
The happier and more successful sex workers (porn stars, strippers) that I have known, are very confident women. They feel that they are in total control of their sexuality and they are in the incredible position of doing something fun and enjoyable and getting paid to do it. Which I personally respect a hell of a lot more than a lot of hard labor jobs where you break your body for pay. The problem in the industry is not with people like them, whose right to do what they do I completely support. It's with exploited people...but frankly anyone who is trafficked or exploited for any purpose, is a victim and should get help and justice, without anybody asking what sordid thing happened in their childhood to make them "choose" what they are doing....which they didn't, really, anyways. And victims of childhood sexual abuse should also get help and justice, even if they don't look like the broken dolls as adults that some want them to be...even if they grow up to appear strong and confident and well adjusted, they probably could use therapy and too often they never seem to get the chance to speak out against their abusers. They often have too much to lose.
The only actual prostitute I've ever known, was an opioid addict, an unstable couch surfer, and a thief. She actually came from an affluent family and was not abused. I think she failed to live up to her parents' expectations in some way, or ran off with some boy, and that's what led to her troubled life. Last I heard she was in jail.
I mean, to kinda shed just a little light on what irks me about the nature of so many of your threads, OP... It's always, "what is wrong with women, that they allow themselves to be victimized? They don't do as I think they should and it makes me so mad!" and you frame it as being upset about the abuse...and of course everyone with any sense is against abuse... But it's never, "what's wrong with a man that would make him abuse a woman?"
You center blame on the victim every single time, and as much as you tend to try and frame it as concern and upset on behalf of the victim, it always seems like you are looking for reasons to judge.
I get that when we see an upsetting problem, we want it to be fixed. And when you cannot fix the problem but are instead just called upon to be caring and compassionate, you start looking for excuses to stop caring, because giving care and compassion to somebody who has a problem that does not seem to be getting fixed anytime soon (ever?) is EXHAUSTING. But I'd say that instead of looking for a judgment you can cast on the person in the situation so that you can justify turning off the care-tap... It would probably be kinder if you just minded your own damn business.
Because being all up in theirs...with your ego invested in advice they won't take, and judgment of their choices and victim blaming for their situation...it's not actually HELPING. Either be supportive on the victim's terms, or stay in your lane.
I mean, you can claim that sex work is not normal, as in, it's not the most common thing...but it's not called the "world's oldest profession" for nothing.
I think that there's as much daylight between the actual experiences and psychology of actual sex workers and the women they get for "stories" like documentaries for the normies to cluck and clutch pearls over...as there is between actual stoners and reefer madness films.
Well. But it depends.
First off though, it really peeves me your constant victim blaming and victim shaming. Using psychology as a way to work out how someone is broken and pathologize them so you can support your "Clean life versus the tragedies of the scum" narrative, with a big dash of frustrated savior to season the stew... it's really tiresome as hell.
That out of the way.
I have known some porn stars, though in fairness the ones I've met tend to be very successful niche people who also do other kinds of performance art, tend to be financially affluent people, some have written books or gone on to be "sex educators" and that's why I met them...they were at conventions I attended. And they have about the same vibe as some yoga guru hippie person. Very peaceful, fun sense of humor, seem like they are living their best life. Surprisingly wholesome vibes. Happy people.
I know most have some sort of intense need to insist that there's got to be something horribly WRONG with them just because they do something that you would never, and that you have ~opinions~ about... And while I'm sure that exists, I'm also sure it's not the rule or even as common as you think. It's not 90+% I don't think, especially in porn. Though I do believe that some very significant portion of people featured in porn are actually coerced, exploited or trafficked, and there is nothing OK about that. But people in those situations did not freely CHOOSE to be. They didn't wake up one morning and decide to go find some sleazebag to sign on to make porn with, or go shopping for a pimp.
I think that a ton of women who do the more low level kinds of sex work, were in some kind of vulnerable state as older teens or young adults. And while childhood trauma might have been part of that, it's not, necessarily. And I don't like too much focus on that, as it's part of a lot of people's just world fallacy BS that "well, I raise my kids right so I have control over what kind of people they'll be for sure"...only to a point, and not like ya think. And, too, I have known plenty of people who were victims of childhood sexual abuse who never went anywhere near sex work. But the kind of vulnerable situations that lead people to be exploited...I mean...drugs, alcohol, teen runaways (who may not be fleeing serious abuse, even), untreated mental health issues, poverty, you name it...
When I was 18, I was dirt poor. For a short time, I needed to get assistance. So one day I was leaving the DHS office where I'd been applying for help with childcare costs, pushing my baby in a stroller. We were crossing the parking lot to head for the sidewalk on the other side. And a scummy lookin' dude pulled up nearby and told me that I "had the look" and should sign up with him to be a model for his "photography business." Tried to give me a business card. Well. I was no fool, my stranger danger alarms were going off, and I high tailed it away and did not interact with him. But I'd bet you anything I was not the only impoverished young mother he tried to get with that.
I was never molested as a kid.
I have also never been a porn star or sex worker...probably more due to hangups I have about money, honestly. The idea of trading sex for money pushes negative emotional buttons for me because I had family members who were nasty on the subject of money, always guilting and manipulating and using each other about it... Money is a touchy subject in my family history and psychology. Sex...not so much. I "normalized sex" in my life from about 14, mostly going after inexperienced boys in high school...I think I overheard some boys talking about girls once and decided that what was good for the gander could be good for the goose. I found it amusing to hook up with virgin guys. Not because I had "trauma" or some heeeavy childhood psych thing deviating me from purity or whatever, but because it was FUN. I liked fun. And, like many teens, I also enjoyed my share of edginess and high drama.
I know, people still struggle with the idea that female persons can enjoy sex. We still have a lot of Victorian nonsense lurking in our culture, that sex, for women, should be viewed as perhaps an unpleasant necessity to keeping a man or having a child, or at best something we arrive at blushing and reluctant and a little afraid. But it's not sick or abnormal for a woman to enjoy sex, to not be scared or timid or shameful about it. Sorry/not-sorry, if that bothers you or anyone.
The happier and more successful sex workers (porn stars, strippers) that I have known, are very confident women. They feel that they are in total control of their sexuality and they are in the incredible position of doing something fun and enjoyable and getting paid to do it. Which I personally respect a hell of a lot more than a lot of hard labor jobs where you break your body for pay. The problem in the industry is not with people like them, whose right to do what they do I completely support. It's with exploited people...but frankly anyone who is trafficked or exploited for any purpose, is a victim and should get help and justice, without anybody asking what sordid thing happened in their childhood to make them "choose" what they are doing....which they didn't, really, anyways. And victims of childhood sexual abuse should also get help and justice, even if they don't look like the broken dolls as adults that some want them to be...even if they grow up to appear strong and confident and well adjusted, they probably could use therapy and too often they never seem to get the chance to speak out against their abusers. They often have too much to lose.
The only actual prostitute I've ever known, was an opioid addict, an unstable couch surfer, and a thief. She actually came from an affluent family and was not abused. I think she failed to live up to her parents' expectations in some way, or ran off with some boy, and that's what led to her troubled life. Last I heard she was in jail.
As a bouncer I’ve worked around women who were in these industries believe me most of them were victims of abuse and didn’t love their situation and also suffered from mental illness. None of them had a decent head on their shoulders.
While it doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person for being a prostitute and exchanging sex for money it’s more about the mindset and mental state you have to have to be in that kind of profession and to put yourself in danger like that you have to be kinda mentally but well and please spare me the “most women do if for the love of sex” garbage that’s a very very small percentage of them.
I mean, to kinda shed just a little light on what irks me about the nature of so many of your threads, OP... It's always, "what is wrong with women, that they allow themselves to be victimized? They don't do as I think they should and it makes me so mad!" and you frame it as being upset about the abuse...and of course everyone with any sense is against abuse... But it's never, "what's wrong with a man that would make him abuse a woman?"
You center blame on the victim every single time, and as much as you tend to try and frame it as concern and upset on behalf of the victim, it always seems like you are looking for reasons to judge.
I get that when we see an upsetting problem, we want it to be fixed. And when you cannot fix the problem but are instead just called upon to be caring and compassionate, you start looking for excuses to stop caring, because giving care and compassion to somebody who has a problem that does not seem to be getting fixed anytime soon (ever?) is EXHAUSTING. But I'd say that instead of looking for a judgment you can cast on the person in the situation so that you can justify turning off the care-tap... It would probably be kinder if you just minded your own damn business.
Because being all up in theirs...with your ego invested in advice they won't take, and judgment of their choices and victim blaming for their situation...it's not actually HELPING. Either be supportive on the victim's terms, or stay in your lane.
You’re way off base and just spewing BS.
You always seemed to have some PTSD trigger with my threads and totally misread them and instead go off on some tangent because something I said that triggered stuff that happened to you.
I suggest you get some help for that. You clearly need it
Why is the psychology behind hypersexuality for people who were sexually abused as kids?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB83
Is it strictly to normalize sex by having it as much as possible to make it seem like what happened to them as children wasn’t a big deal?
There isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ psychological breakdown to hyper-sexuality/sexual addiction (or BDSM, for that matter), just as there isn’t one explanation as to why one escapes into drugs, food or alcohol. One thing is apparent, however; they aren’t doing the work necessary to maintain control of their lives.
I have a big problem with this thread. It assumes prostitutes are hypersexual. That simply isn't true. No more than anyone else is "hyper-whatever" at their job. I'd say many swingers and those leading "alternative" lifestyles who are NOT prostitutes are hypersexual. Some may engage in risky sexual behavior but rarely is money or prostitution a driving factor here..... most probably don't even need/care about the money.
A lot of my friends in sex work that work for clubs and such, the ones that lead relatively normal lives outside of the clubs, do it because, for them, it was quick cash.. back in the day... it was A LOT. For the love of money, I suppose. I don't necessarily see that group having any more or less mental/childhood issues than the rest of us. But they do value money highly and they reap it while they can. Sex is just a means to earn that money. They don't really like having sex with their clients (yes it is an act) but view it as income. Meanwhile, they get a lot of attention from men, they get taken out a lot for dinners and drinks, etc; That part many have said they do enjoy. It does wear on them fairly quickly as they age (alcohol plays a big part) They have no problems leaving that line of work; I know several that have "retired" hopefully (but not always) to better situations.
On the other hand, a lot of streetwalker prostitutes that I crossed paths with, it was their drug addiction that drove them to prostitution. Again quick money equates to easy access to drugs. They can't leave prostitution even if they wanted to.... sadly most don't have much of a future. So it really becomes a study on how they got into drug addiction in the first place. Here I an see childhood abuse playing a huge part in drug addiction.
I will say I agree most with CorporateCowboy up there.... I simply think there is not a one-size-fits-all breakdown on the causes of hypersexuality and addiction of any sort.
Last edited by usayit; 06-05-2023 at 03:02 PM..
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