Making mountains out of mole hills.

[stephenMM]

Personally, I have never seen a mole hill (or a mole for that matter), but it's an old truism that's good to remember.

A Federal benefit I was receiving, which was administrated by my current state of residence, suddenly disappeared. I got a letter from social security telling me about it on the last day of April. In order to appeal it, I would have had to get it postmarked that very day. That wasn't possible, so I was forced to call the state administration where I live and ask what happened.

The last time I had to call that agency was like calling the Devil. Collect. I really didn't want to make that call, so I kicked the can down the road until today, when I finally mustered the wherewithal to do it. Surprisingly, I got right through, and the woman was as pleasant as could be. We sorted out the problem, but it meant having to call my previous state's agency that handled it before my move. Dreading that also, I finally made the call and it was settled within 5 minutes!

My mind had made such a big deal out of this because I was basing it on what happened last time. But that was then, and this was now. There never WAS a problem, but my mind had made one up where none existed.

I think this happens more often than people like to admit, and it certainty wasn't the first time for me either. We can listen to that idiot in our head who worries and worries, or we can just do what needs to be done in a business like manner. Who knew? Will I learn from this? Hopefully I will if I write it down and put it on the wall. Otherwise I will lapse back into old behavior, which almost never worked anyway, just from force of habit.

[Parnassia]

Prior experience with something not only educates us, it also tends to create assumptions/anticipation.

You've heard the saying "forewarned is forearmed" right? Sometimes that turns out to be a good thing, other times it doesn't!

[harry chickpea]

Mole hills are not big at all, if you even notice one. Fire ant mounds, OTOH...

Procrastination, in many cases, comes from two main dislikes - long waits with slow response, and confrontation.

Long waits can be made easier by multitasking. On phone queues, I have the phone on speaker while I do some less than joyful short term task, such as making entries into Quicken.

Confrontation gets easier once the emotion is removed from it and a clear goal is in mind. There have been many times when I have been pleasant to front line representatives while discussing issues that would have most people angry enough to vent some of that anger on the person tasked with trying to help. At extreme times, in loggerheads, I have honestly and evenly suggested that the person might be able to find a more rewarding job, where they are allowed some discretion and are not expected to shield others from rightfully earned reprimand.

Generally, the person on the other end is just trying to make a living and knows where the paycheck is and what cookies crumble, and what phone conversations get reviewed. I used to do the complaint responses for a couple of theatre circuits. It was fun in a way. the legit complaints kept me abreast of problems in certain theatres, the scammers and whingers were easily found out and thwarted. Keep focused and everyone wins, one way or another.

Much of the time the gatekeepers are actually lovely people tasked with an impossible job. Keeping focus on your goal ratchets down most problems. Having the knowledge of how to go over heads, and affect bottom lines or chain of command also can make a big difference, but those are held in reserve.

Measured response involves measured emotional response as well. It keeps the world from becoming more insane. However... playing mean with those who would intentionally play mean with you can be particularly satisfying, when done ethically.

[katharsis]

Originally Posted by stephenMM

Personally, I have never seen a mole hill (or a mole for that matter), but it's an old truism that's good to remember.

A Federal benefit I was receiving, which was administrated by my current state of residence, suddenly disappeared. I got a letter from social security telling me about it on the last day of April. In order to appeal it, I would have had to get it postmarked that very day. That wasn't possible, so I was forced to call the state administration where I live and ask what happened.

The last time I had to call that agency was like calling the Devil. Collect. I really didn't want to make that call, so I kicked the can down the road until today, when I finally mustered the wherewithal to do it. Surprisingly, I got right through, and the woman was as pleasant as could be. We sorted out the problem, but it meant having to call my previous state's agency that handled it before my move. Dreading that also, I finally made the call and it was settled within 5 minutes!

My mind had made such a big deal out of this because I was basing it on what happened last time. But that was then, and this was now. There never WAS a problem, but my mind had made one up where none existed.

I think this happens more often than people like to admit, and it certainty wasn't the first time for me either. We can listen to that idiot in our head who worries and worries, or we can just do what needs to be done in a business like manner. Who knew? Will I learn from this? Hopefully I will if I write it down and put it on the wall. Otherwise I will lapse back into old behavior, which almost never worked anyway, just from force of habit.

This is not REALLY the same thing, but your post reminded me of what my mother always advised, which was "If you have something unpleasant to do, you should do it as soon as you can. Otherwise, it will be like you are doing it more than just once because of the all the time you will spend dreading or worrying about it."