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Hi everyone. I've heard that Durham, Raleigh and Chapel Hill are good places to move if you're LGBT. I'm looking to move there with my girlfriend in the next 2-3 years. We also would like to have children one day. I don't want them to be shunned or bullied for having two moms. How do you think us having children would go? Also, lets say we choose to move to Durham for example and we are accepted, that's great. But how will things be in the rest of NC for us? We may want to visit/work in other parts of the state so I was just wondering what the overall thoughts of the LGBT community are in NC. Thanks .
It's difficult in parts of NC, but doable in the Triangle. I'm not LGBT, but I have many friends who are. I know quite a few lesbian couples with kids, but NC does not recognize both moms as parents, only the biological mom. I believe the other mom can legally adopt the child, but I'm really not sure on that — maybe not if the state already recognizes the biological mom as the mother — might not be room on their form for another female parent. I'm friends with one couple who went to Maryland to get married. They talked about moving there because of the legal issues, but are staying put in NC for right now. I think as in the rest of the country things are on the upswing for NC, but it may be quite a while before marriage between two women or two men is recognized by this state.
The entire Triangle is becoming more liberal in many aspects. I would say that Durham, Chapel Hill, and parts of Raleigh west of Capital Blvd and North of I-440 seem to be more liberal and open-minded or acceptable. Otherwise areas outside of that, though there are far and few in between, will be much more conservative when it comes to traditional family values. I will say that even if some don't say anything they still mumble words behind your back while smiling in your face so I'm not certain how the school bullying will be affected. Of course most of the times that bullying is learned behavior rooted in up bringing based on stereotypical foolishness.
I forgot to address the statement "other parts of the state". My job some years back required me to travel to all 100 counties in NC and I will tell you that most of the state where there is rural or suburb is going to be hard pressed to find acceptance of LGBT other than the Triangle, Charlotte and perhaps Wilmington. Just keep that in mind.
You left out Asheville, Andy. Lots of Q folk there. Don't think you'd have any problems in the Triad (Winston-Salem, Greensboro, High Point) either. Boone would also be fairly accepting and I believe some of the smaller coastal communities like Beaufort, Nags Head (although you'd have to line up a job) might be, too. Really I think most of the larger cities would be accepting of a kid with two moms.
Off the top of my head I can think of three two mom families (with kids) that I know in the Chapel Hill area. I probably know more and don't even realize it.
If Francois sees this thread he might be able to offer you his insider perspective.
We went to OUT!Raleigh last weekend and had a fab time. Looked like a successful event with lots of liberal open minded families around. Check out LGBT center of Raleigh on FB and OutRaleigh as well.
Of Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill to pick from, I think there is no ? that Durham would be your best option. Plus, it has the best food and scene in general. Hell, I live right beside 2 women that are "married" and have 3 kids that they have each taked turns having. Awesome. We accept all here. Plus, the marriage amendment that was passed 2 years ago will be illegal within the next year or so, so you will eventually (sooner than later) be able to get married here in NC.
I think Durham, Chapel Hill, and Carrboro are all very LGBTQ friendly. Chapel Hill's mayor, Mark Kleinschmidt, is quite openly gay. Carrboro's former mayor, Mark Chilton, just won the democratic primary for Orange County Register of Deeds in part based on his pledge to sign same-sex marriage licenses. He will run unopposed in November (no Republicans on the ballot), so will be elected.
You left out Asheville, Andy. Lots of Q folk there. Don't think you'd have any problems in the Triad (Winston-Salem, Greensboro, High Point) either. Boone would also be fairly accepting and I believe some of the smaller coastal communities like Beaufort, Nags Head (although you'd have to line up a job) might be, too. Really I think most of the larger cities would be accepting of a kid with two moms.
Off the top of my head I can think of three two mom families (with kids) that I know in the Chapel Hill area. I probably know more and don't even realize it.
If Francois sees this thread he might be able to offer you his insider perspective.
Poppydog you're right I left out Asheville and I'll go out on a limb saying Boone. As far as the Triad it's been several years since I visited that area so today it could be much more liberal than 5-6yrs ago. But to be fair in the downtown areas of Winston-Salem & Greenesboro it may be a bit more acceptable of LGBT and that's probably because of the universities but I'm not quite sure about High Point.
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