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My girlfriend and I are both 23 with no kids. I make a very decent living and she does pretty well herself. I install surveillance systems and she is a secretary for a State agency. I have recently been offered the oppertunity of relocating to the Raleigh area of NC. I am a very adventurous person and I have just picked up and left before. My girlfriend on the other hand is an only child from a single mother and she is having a hard time with the thought of leaving her and her family.
We both are from Baltimore City and both live with our parents. I have wanted a change of pace for a long time, I am ready to slow life down I guess you could say. I am looking for some advise for both of us but especially my girlfriend, hopefully from a woman in the same position as her. She in still working on her degree and she is mostly concerned about finding a job, mine is already secure. I have already found this site very helpfull and any more advise would be appreciated.Thankx
You say she's working on her degree. How many hours must she complete before she graduates? This may not be what you want to hear, but it might best if she stays there & finishes her degree while you move down to NC. You can still visit one another frequently &, of course, talk on the phone & over e-mail. Long distance relationships take effort, but they can work. My husband and I are proof of that.
On the flip side there are also a lot of good school down here that could transfer pretty easily and there are a lot of admin jobs throughout the triangle area. If security is an issue for her you might start scoping this out before you think about moving.
If your girlfriend is reluctant to move, I wouldn't press her. It only costs $59 to fly Southwest from BWI to RDU. It is less than a 5 hour drive. If she moves when she doesn't want to, to please you, it could be trouble for your relationship.
On the flip side there are also a lot of good school down here that could transfer pretty easily and there are a lot of admin jobs throughout the triangle area. If security is an issue for her you might start scoping this out before you think about moving.
That's why I asked how far along she is on her degree. If she's just a freshman or sophmore and if she can handle the out-of-state tuition costs, then transfering to a university in the Triangle could be an option. However, if she is a junior or senior, she really needs to stay where she is. Universities will allow a minimum number of credits to transfer from outside schools. Typically, at least half of your credits need to come from the institution that grants you your degree. So if she's a senior and she transfers to a school here, then that's a lot of hard work and money out the window (and feeling forced to throw all of that away can create a LOT of resentment).
Baltimore to Raleigh is NOT long-distance. Long distance involves international borders, visa regimes and at least 3-4 hours' difference in time zones.
Don't push her to move, but if you think it'd be good for you, definitely make the move. Let her move down when she's ready. For the longer term, there's definitely more for prospects for you both in Raleigh than in Baltimore.
I don't know what "stage" you are in, in your relationship, but seeing as your girlfriend is still in school, how would she (and you) feel about supporting her while she gets her feet on the ground. I agree with the person above in regards to her place in school. If she is close to finishing then it might be best for her to stay there and come down once she has finished school. But there is always the option to transfer here. NC has a lot of really great schools!
I was almost in the same place (2.5 years ago) with my partner. She was offered a job with the same company in Raleigh, and there was no way that I could transfer with my job. I basically worked (and worked and worked) for a few months and saved up enough money to pay my own way for about a year. With the money that I saved up, I was actually able to take my time in figuring out what I would do once we got here. I eventually ended up going back to school and am now working full time in the IT field.
I wouldn't pressure her into moving, trust me, that's not something that you want thrown in your face at anytime, ever! Make sure that she knows that she has options, and I'm sure that you both will make the right decision. Baltimore isn't that far away!! My family is in NH and I miss them terribly (especially with having young siblings), but in the end, you will both need to do what is right for you...your families will always be there for you and understand/respect your decisions.
Good luck John!
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