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Re, the passive-agressive behavior I don't really have an informed opinion on that being a native NC-er, but find it amusing to read, since I have read many complaints from folks relocating from other regions of the country that NC-ers and Southerners are more passive-agressive than folks are where they're from. Good to know there's a region of the country that might be considered more passive-agressive than the South.
Yeah, I was surprised at her post, too, since it seems like everyone from NY/NJ claims that anything short of saying "Are you F**n crazy? Have you lost your mind? That's a ridiculous idea!" is "passive-aggressive".
Southern behavior is very much in line with what you'll read in Emily Post, Miss Manners, etc, which is indirect; Miss Manners would generally find most of the vaunted "tell it like it is" behavior that New Yorkers are so very proud of, appalling. I am not excusing true passive-aggressiveness, which is as laughable as it is annoying, but often being indirect in order to avoid conflict in a situation where nothing good will come out of such conflict is generally known as "polite", not "passive-aggressive". Also, many people use "passive" and "passive-aggressive" as synonyms, which they are not.
I admit that some of the most "upper-crust" Southern (Carolina Country Club, debutante, Tri-Delt at UNC, if I'm being horribly stereotypical) interaction can be so far off the edge of Emily Post, that it DOES get passive-aggressive, but in general, the usual 'Southern way' of holding one's tongue instead of ripping someone a new one over some minor slight, or insulting someone's outfit when you hate it (but they clearly like it) is more from old-fashioned manners than "passive-aggressiveness".
I have lived in a few places, and have traveled extensively - even living for a month here or there - and I have never, ever seen passive-aggressive behavior more than when I lived in Seattle; I put up with it for 13 years and, coupled with the weather, is one of the things I miss the least.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppydog
Re, the passive-agressive behavior I don't really have an informed opinion on that being a native NC-er, but find it amusing to read, since I have read many complaints from folks relocating from other regions of the country that NC-ers and Southerners are more passive-agressive than folks are where they're from. Good to know there's a region of the country that might be considered more passive-agressive than the South.
We moved from Seattle to Raleigh a little over a year ago. Husband was with Microsoft for 7 years, and as mentioned, a for sure dog eat dog company - he finally walked on his own. We lived on the Eastside within 20 minutes of the main Redmond MS campus. Few quicky random thoughts from points mentioned in the thread, in no particular order:
My (personal) experience with people from both regions, is that I rarely, if ever, encountered passive aggressive behavior in Seattle. Microsoft? Hell yes. The "Seattle Freeze" was very much real however. So obvious to me after having moved back to the South. At least you just *knew* when someone wasn't fond of you in Seattle..
We are a younger-ish family (30/28) with two kids under 5. Our move, was a move that was needed. The Seattle weather with very young kids, and the cost of living even while making a pretty decent income, finally pushed us to look elsewhere. Raleigh proper, is a complete melting pot. More transplants than I ever, ever expected. When transplants move to Seattle, there is a certain effort put into "fitting in." I wouldn't say that sort of expectation/culture exists here. Possibly could be of some comfort to an outsider. Maybe.
My husband graduated from Mercer Island HS, moved away, then came back to WA. I have a feeling that once our kids are older - he/we will want to go back.. I certainly have heart pangs for Seattle. Our kids were born there, the scenery will just never, ever compare, and you will always miss the view of Rainier. Always. Even if you don't realize it given you have been in Puyallup for so long. I would agree that there is going to be a major level of culture shock. More so than I even expected, and I only lived there for 7 years.
Beaches are just.. so, so different. If you are a Haystack Rock fan, prepare yourself for the major disappoint.
And a dusting of snow shuts down the city, just like Seattle.
Puyallup would be the Carrborro or Pittsboro of NC, IMO.
Traffic in Raleigh? Hmm. What traffic?!?
And bugs? Prepare thyself. So weird having been raised in the South, then moving to Seattle as I'm now suddenly the traumatized newborn having to deal with life things like ants. And mosquitoes. And spiders.
All that said, I am a huge, gigantic(!!!) fan of traveling. Especially before kids! Had I not traveled, I would have missed out on so many things and so many great people.
As someone who lived in Seattle for 13 years and is planning a move to Durham in 2015 -- this is a great post.
My only quibble would be with your beach notation; yes, Haytack Rock is beautiful, as are other beaches in both Oregon and Washington. The trouble is, unless you want to freeze, you can't necessarily swim without a wetsuit most of the year (ever go to Golden Gardens -- even in July the water is freezing cold), or even swim at all. When I think of a beach I think of warm sand, ocean water I can swim in for hours, and beaches I can lay on and tan for more than one month out of 12. Then again, I grew up going to the beaches of New Jersey in the Summer, and in Georgia and Florida other times of the year.
Pretty is great, but so is usable!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernInSeattle
Beaches are just.. so, so different. If you are a Haystack Rock fan, prepare yourself for the major disappoint.
As someone who lived in Seattle for 13 years and is planning a move to Durham in 2015 -- this is a great post.
My only quibble would be with your beach notation; yes, Haytack Rock is beautiful, as are other beaches in both Oregon and Washington. The trouble is, unless you want to freeze, you can't necessarily swim without a wetsuit most of the year (ever go to Golden Gardens -- even in July the water is freezing cold), or even swim at all. When I think of a beach I think of warm sand, ocean water I can swim in for hours, and beaches I can lay on and tan for more than one month out of 12. Then again, I grew up going to the beaches of New Jersey in the Summer, and in Georgia and Florida other times of the year.
Pretty is great, but so is usable!
I actually grew up in FL and within a short walking distance to Siesta Key. One of the supposedly, best beaches in the US.. We had the crystal clear water and sugar fine sand, but I'm still a huge fan of the West Coast's beaches.
Then again, you couldn't pay me to go back to Florida, so warm beaches obviously aren't my "thing" to begin with.
The culture here is definitely dominated by passive aggressive types -- ie. Aggressive behavior is demonstrated quite often but in an exceedingly passive, non-confrontational way. It's completely different than the NY style, which shows an open tell-it-how-it-is honest even if coarse approach that I prefer. For example, people here leave little notes on cars or doors to communicate displeasure about things, neighbors will get upset with one another about the most minor of violations, and most condo associations are in total disarray over perceived offenses or trivial crap. I've never encountered such petty, rules-bound, and process loving people -- but I say this with love too, for overall we have a lot of friends or friendly acquaintenances and coworkers. It is just a cultural difference, and my Scandinavian mother feels it is very Scandinavian. We also have a huge Asian population, typically another introverted group. People are more introverted and less outwardly friendly. However, there are less deceptive, fake interactions here than in the SE, and less gossip -- no sugary sweetness here in Seattle! Generalizations of course, but it's a strikingly obvious qualitative difference to many who have lived in both places. I miss the sun, housing prices, Southern hospitality, proximity to large East coast cities and history, Appalachian mountains, lightening bugs, white christmas lights and tastefully decorated neighborhoods, and abundance of high quality colleges in NC. Life is good in both places, just a bit different. Many of the same businesses and communities can be found in both places. I loved the Triangle, my life was easy there, and now we are accepting our lives in Seattle and appreciating the good things here. I think most adaptable people can be happy in either place.
Last edited by west seattle gal; 12-04-2014 at 06:57 PM..
Very well said! Thank you! And I wholeheartedly agree . . .
Having experienced Seattle and been all over the Northwest over 13 years I DO love it; but I never loved the eternal gray, and in this next phase of my life I am looking forward to warmer climates and more sunshine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by west seattle gal
The culture here is definitely dominated by passive aggressive types -- ie. Aggressive behavior is demonstrated quite often but in an exceedingly passive, non-confrontational way. It's completely different than the NY style, which shows an open tell-it-how-it-is honest even if coarse approach that I prefer. For example, people here leave little notes on cars or doors to communicate displeasure about things, neighbors will get upset with one another about the most minor of violations, and most condo associations are in total disarray over perceived offenses or trivial crap. I've never encountered such petty, rules-bound, and process loving people -- but I say this with love too, for overall we have a lot of friends or friendly acquaintenances and coworkers. It is just a cultural difference, and my Scandinavian mother feels it is very Scandinavian. We also have a huge Asian population, typically another introverted group. People are more introverted and less outwardly friendly. However, there are less deceptive, fake interactions here than in the SE, and less gossip -- no sugary sweetness here in Seattle! Generalizations of course, but it's a strikingly obvious qualitative difference to many who have lived in both places. I miss the sun, housing prices, Southern hospitality, proximity to large East coast cities and history, Appalachian mountains, lightening bugs, white christmas lights and tastefully decorated neighborhoods, and abundance of high quality colleges in NC. Life is good in both places, just a bit different. Many of the same businesses and communities can be found in both places. I loved the Triangle, my life was easy there, and now we are accepting our lives in Seattle and appreciating the good things here. I think most adaptable people can be happy in either place.
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It's True!
The "Seattle Freeze" was very much real however. So obvious to me after having moved back to the South. At least you just *knew* when someone wasn't fond of you in Seattle.. 
