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how many of you moved for lower cost of living and left family and friends? we are considering this move but its huge for us as everyone is in nj. but if DH gets a job making the same as he is now then all of our bills combined should be less then our mortgage payment now and we will have paid off all debt. but of course making sure dh gets a job is key. but then i could continue to be home with my kids. (rather then 3 in daycare at this point) and if i work at night or from home it would be savings or extra spending money.
if we stay in this house either i go back to work ft and put them back in daycare (on unemployment right now) with some money to spare. or i work at night, keep the kids home with me during the day and just make our bills.
oh or save for a house here again but move my entire family in with my parents to save. if we stay in nj we will need to save more for downpayment for a smaller house at this point just to lower monthly costs.
i am just wondering if any of you have done it and how it is? our only holdback is our family who is ALL right here in NJ.
just wondering, this is a huge decision and emotional struggle for us. need help. thanks.
We ended up moving away from family for a lower cost of living (8 hours to fly back home...many days to drive). It is hard but you will find less stress financially and that your immediate family unit will get closer (you have to lean on each other ....hubby, kids). You do get homesick everyday but it is manageable. Web cams are a good way to keep in contact and thank goodness for unlimited long distance calling.
We moved from LI to NC 6 years ago. We transferred with hubby's company, but we requested the transfer. We left everyone behind and I have to say, it was the best decision we ever made.I am able to stay home with my kids and we have a better quality of life. My family doesn't pay my bills, so they can't really say much about us moving. If it meant choosing to put my kids in daycare or move, it really would be a no brainer for me. Moving would win.
My family doesn't pay my bills, so they can't really say much about us moving. If it meant choosing to put my kids in daycare or move, it really would be a no brainer for me. Moving would win.
I couldn't agree more!!! When we told my mother about the move, her response was "Well, I am not happy about it"...
We moved from SF voluntarily after realizing that too much time is being wasted in the rat race and RTP is a much better place for a good quality
of life. After our 2 month stay here - we haven't had any regrets ! Yes we do miss our friends - but then we realized that we used to keep in touch by phone over there and we can do the same thing from here while making new friends.
Thats exactly why we are here...lower cost of living, and one of us was still able to stay home with our kids until they started school, which they did last yr. We still have unhappy family members back in the western US, but none of them lived real close to us anyway, so it was not like we depended on them for a whole lot. You wouldn't be all that far away...at least you can drive in a day. For us, the realization is that if family lives accross the US, you are lucky to see them once a yr, if that. But as a family we are so much better off here and the environment is so much better, that it is a price we are willing to pay.
Try it out for a few years...if you end up really missing everyone, you can always move back!!! If you don't think of it as a FOREVER decision, it won't be so overwhelming. In the meantime, you can stay at home with the kids for a few years. Good luck!!
We just moved here from Bloomfield, NJ at the end of January. We considered the move two years ago, but my husband had what we thought was a secure job. After getting laid off, we decided to throw caution to the wind and make the move! Although my DH is still working hard looking for work (he's the hardest working unemployed person I know), we are absolutely loving it.
We left our family, great friends and a wonderful church family to come out here and we don't regret it. Yes, I miss everyone, especially my parents, but this is a better place for us. The pace is more relaxed over here. I'm stilling waiting to see if I'll be able to stay home with the kids here (I am currently on maternity leave). If I decide to go back to work, I might just be able to get away with a part time job. Of course, that also depends on how big a house we decide to buy and where we decide to buy. We are currently renting an apartment in Raleigh, on the border of Cary. We really like the area we're in and we've found a wonderful church here as well, so we'll probably want to stay close to where we are now.
My parents have already come for a visit and we already took a trip up to NJ since we've been here. My parents liked it so much they are seriously considering moving down here when my father retires next year. They just finished building their retirement dream home in Puerto Rico and will decide next week whether or not to keep it or sell it so they can move here.
The weather is much nicer over here, too. I haven't had to bundle the kids up with hats and gloves since the week we got here. It's nice to know they're going to get a lot more use out of their summer clothes.
I say come for a visit to see if you like it. Yes, you will miss your family, especially if you see them often (we were at my parent's house about twice a week and I used to see my brother and his kids about twice a week also), but that's sometimes the price you have to pay for comfort. Your reasons are legit for wanting to move. I say give it a try. You can always go back if it doesn't work out. But if you come, give it at least a year. That's the amount of time that some of my friends from up north said it took them to adjust to living down south. It didn't take my DH and I that long, but I think it's a reasonable amount of time in case. I don't see myself going back.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
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and we can do the same thing from here while making new friends.
