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We can't spend all our energy trying to figure out the exact words to not hurt someone's feelings. It's not always what we say, but the intent. I am a minority and I seldom get offended unless I know for sure of the intent. How about we give people the benefit of the doubt first? If you are not sure ask them to clarify a statement. We have all said something that has been misconstrued. If everyone looked for the good instead of the bad the world would have a lot less fewer problems.
I'm Asian and if someone said "What's with the Asians" and had a legitimate question I would waste my day getting all butt hurt about the question. I know that to someone not asian they might not understand certain aspects of my culture. I think it's better to educate them than to start out calling them a racist.
C'mon people, stop carrying a chip on your shoulder and trying to pick fights . Your time i better spent with real problems.
I'm glad you can look the other way, but I maintain, had the OP implied that all black folks are paranoid and suspicious, the thread would have become mess and deleted in under an hour. You cannot imply "ALL" of any race of people. The OP does this and in my HUMBLE opinion, that is wrong. Why? Because I learned long ago, that "ALL" of any race or ethnicity of people, does not apply.
People always want to package those outside their immediate comfort zone into a little box, catagorizing them and it just does not work that way. All people, individually are as unique as the races they come in.
I'm glad you can look the other way, but I maintain, had the OP implied that all black folks are paranoid and suspicious, the thread would have become mess and deleted in under an hour. You cannot imply "ALL" of any race of people. The OP does this and in my HUMBLE opinion, that is wrong. Why? Because I learned long ago, that "ALL" of any race or ethnicity of people, does not apply.
People always want to package those outside their immediate comfort zone into a little box, catagorizing them and it just does not work that way. All people, individually are as unique as the races they come in.
I agree. The OP felt put-off (I can't think of a better word at the moment) by her Indian neighbors so she therefore thought there was something wrong with ALL Indians and that their behavior had something to do with their culture.
IMHO, she could have taken a completely different route with her questions and attempted to learn more about people and cultures instead of accusing them of unfair treatment towards her.
Frankly, she could have posed her initial concern without even mentioning the race if her neighbors. She assumed their race was the reason for their behaviors when it could have been how those people just individually acted.
And once again, if I was standing outside and I saw someone peering at me from inside their apartment, I would be a little confused. Now if I saw a person peering at me through curtains and I saw something wrong with my car, I would think those two things were related.
We have decided to postpone the lunch meet-up by a few weeks. It was really intended for the OP, but she hasn't responded so far. There were 15 people originally interested, but only 3 have confirmed that they will come. 4 people said they are busy on Saturday and can not make it.
Due to the low turnout and in order to give time for the OP and others to comfirm, des1ress and I decided to postpone the meetup to April 11 or 18th weekend.
I like the idea of a indian lunch in a restaurant....but a potluck picnic will be more relaxed and lot of time to talk and play some games (cricket ?) , kids etc...
This is a very interesting thread. I didn't read all of it (the negativity around page 5 really got to me), but what I did read (outside the negativity) was very enlightening.
I worked for a company that outsourced some jobs to India and we were given a very thick guide to read that told us what was offensive and what wasn't offensive, so we would have better interaction with our new coworkers. I must say, I had no problems with dealing with the (Asian) Indian people, but I had American coworkers who really shamed me. I guess I went into the project thinking we were dealing with people who may be different from us, but are hard-working people just like us. They were hired to do a job and we were going to have to deal with them from now on. Some of my coworkers were downright rude! They complained about the accents (duh, they live in another country, they're going to have an accent!), they complained about the time difference (we were working days, our Indian coworkers were working nights) and they complained about everything they could. While the complainers were a small group, they still gave Americans and that company a bad name in India.
I will be moving into my home later this year and have already met one of my neighbors. He and his wife are originally from India (they moved here from Chicago) and they were very friendly when I met them. I think if you give off a friendly demeanor, you will receive friendliness back, no matter the race of the individual you're interacting with. There are some people who just won't be friendly at no matter what, but you have to accept that is how they are and move on. I have a friend who is Japanese and she explained to me that with some Asians and (Asian) Indians, it's not that they don't want to be friendly, it's that they have to be given time to adapt to our ways. She also pointed out that a lot of Asians and (Asian) Indians who move here from their countries may not want to extend friendship to us because they are afraid we will respond harshly to their accents. Their children don't have this problem if they were born and raised here, which is why you may see more second- and third-generations having more non-Asian or (Asian) Indian friends. Just a thought!
My co-worker who lives in Morrisville mentioned this very same thing to me the other day and he thought it was odd...Then I happen to stumble upon this thread...Sent the post to him so that he can read...
This was indeed a good post and hope people learn from it, especially the posters that explain the Indian culture a little more for others to understand...
I live in Morrisville, the heart of RTP, and have quite a few neighbors of Indian decent. I am multiracial, pretty open to culture differences, but tell me if I'm wrong on this. As I observe them, and interact with them, they seem not so friendly and pretty separated, sticking socially with their own kind. Even a hint of suspiciousness and mistrust as it relates to "others."
Recently the husband of the family that lives below me, got dropped off after work thru a carpool I think he participates in. I watched him out of the window of my dining room as I was sitting at the computer when he pulled up. As he approached the building, he realized that the back door of their Honda was ajar on the back driver's side. He first peeked in the window of the car, then looked down at the door, and then inside again. I could see he was puzzled as to why it was like that. As he began to adjust the door and get it closed all the way, he started peering up into my window, as if he suspected I had something to do with it. He continued trying to see into my window as he finally approach the building to come inside. I thought, why is looking in here? I didn't mess with his stupid car door. When I got home that afternoon from school, I saw the door ajar, and looked into the window to see if the dome light was on, thinking it may run the battery down, and I should maybe knock on the door and tell his wife. But the light was out, so I thought, fine, don't bother, she'll see it when she leaves again.
Whenever we are outside at the same time, maybe me coming and them going, or vice versa, I look in their direction to catch a glimpse from them to speak and they just ignore me. It's a strange, distance, awkwardness. All of my other neighbors stop and talk at the mailbox, speak, wave, smile, something. I just don't get that "warm and fuzzy" thing from my indian neighbors. My Indians neighbors often have people over, and their guest are always, always, I mean always, all Indian. I never see a mix of races coming to their get-togethers. It's like me having only all black people at every social gathering I have at my home. No mix. Ever. At all. Strange? Or not?
They seem to interact fine at work, because they don't have a choice. I just wonder is it a cultural thing, like say, I wonder how they feel about Americans as a whole? Do they buy into stereotypes about black americans, hispanic americans, or white americans? I work with a girl that is indian, but was born and raised here, although her parents are pretty traditional, and she's great.
I mean, do they really want to be in America? Or are they just here strictly out of necessity? Is it some begrudging, grueling duty to come here and make a better life? I mean, there's always England and Canada.
I just find those that come here straight from India, and weren't raised here, don't make any special effort to befriend those outside their culture. If there is anyone reading this that is Indian, help me understand.... I don't want to make assumptions.
Thanks.
Rest assured, you are not wrong at all.
80% of these people are close-mindedly whacked out. It's part of the culture.
I know exactly what you mean when you say they mix with their own kind only.
Even if you try talking to them, you will feel disappointed they don't return the conversation as much as you would have expected.
Once again, somebody didn't read the post correctly.
Lot of that going on at this site lately, it seems. Frankly don't waste your time. Such people have a real trigger finger for the race card and it seems just live to cry "I'm offended!!" Ironic (but not surprising) that someone who IS Indian gave by far the most informed, intelligent, logical answer eh?
PS I have friends in Morrisville (Breckenridge) and have seen/experienced a lot of that "aloofness," although I wouldn't go as far as calling it unfriendliness per se. And typically it is mostly cultural (I have talked about it with a few who said as much).
But I have worked with many Indians and on the whole have found them to be extremely polite and nice. In fact their attitudes and behavior on avg beat the hell out of the avg American, easily. We (generally speaking of course) have earned our negative image that many other countries have of us.
Lot of that going on at this site lately, it seems. Frankly don't waste your time. Such people have a real trigger finger for the race card and it seems just live to cry "I'm offended!!" Ironic (but not surprising) that someone who IS Indian gave by far the most informed, intelligent, logical answer eh?
PS I have friends in Morrisville (Breckenridge) and have seen/experienced a lot of that "aloofness," although I wouldn't go as far as calling it unfriendliness per se. And typically it is mostly cultural (I have talked about it with a few who said as much).
But I have worked with many Indians and on the whole have found them to be extremely polite and nice. In fact their attitudes and behavior on avg beat the hell out of the avg American, easily. We (generally speaking of course) have earned our negative image that many other countries have of us.
You also have to take into account many have the language barrier and are extremely concerned if they will get their grammar right, in the face of natural speakers.
Like one of the posters said above, the companies which bring their employees abroad also perform some voodoo and place stereotypical ideas in the name of cross-cultural training.
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Lunch meetup postponed
Ironic (but not surprising) that someone who IS Indian gave by far the most informed, intelligent, logical answer eh?
