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Let me see if I understand this correctly. An out of state relative of your husband's, who he isn't exactly close with, referred you to a real estate agent based a phone interview. The agent doesn't address basic issues with you when you meet with him and you come away with so many questions that you post these questions on C-D. Responses on C-D say the agent is probably not doing his job and that you should get another agent. You agree that you weren't impressed with this agent on your first meeting. You are getting ready to make the largest purchase of your life and you appear to be concerned about hurting someone's feelings??? Just a thought........thank the relative for what they did but tell them your needs weren't met by this agent and you weren't impressed; tell the agent you're going to work with someone else; get a competent agent who meets your needs and impresses you.
I do understand how difficult it is as a buyer and having reservations about one's realtor because we are in the same position. It is so much easier when it is your line of work and you know all of the in's and out's of the business, and you know the hierarchy and how things should go. Its easy to question yourself about whether or not you are interpreting the realtor's words correctly, and its even easy to think "I must not have heard right" or "I must have mixed up some words", or even that the agent isnt telling us everything because he or she knows it will just go over our heads. We always want to trust those 'in the know' and not imagine deceptive or dishonest practice.
I am so happy to have found this forum to ask questions, and I may never fully trust our agent. Sometimes its hard to decipher whether or not she's not smart or she thinks we aren't and so she is trying to pull the wool over our eyes. But in perspective, if doctor's that take the hypocratic oath can be untrustworthy and patients seek 2nd, 3rd opinions since the docs have people's lives in their hands, we surely should be seeking 2nd or 3rd opinions when making this investment in our homes, too. My fear stems from retaliation since our agent is in a small, rural town where she has worked for many years, and who knows what would result if we went to the broker. This is a town we are going to be living in for many, many years. I dont want to stir up the mud in the event that I misunderstood, or she was actually trying to protect us and take care of our interests and it just didnt come across well. So instead, I will educate myself as much as possible, make sure I am getting what I want out of this transaction, and pretend like she is just there as a reference. It shouldnt be this way. I am keeping a list of her poor advice, errors of ommission, etc, and I will take care of this after closing. For now, I will be extremely thankful to all of the experts on this forum and their generous advice because they have really helped more than I think they'll ever know.
I think getting a referral from a local is far better than having an out of town individual suggest someone from a phone interview, though. It didnt work out well in our situation, however. We all want to trust - why does it have to be so hard? Maybe its the foundation of commission-based work that creates skepticism, but based on some of the threads I've read on here, there is often cause for people to find another agent.
Let me see if I understand this correctly. An out of state relative of your husband's, who he isn't exactly close with, referred you to a real estate agent based a phone interview. The agent doesn't address basic issues with you when you meet with him and you come away with so many questions that you post these questions on C-D. Responses on C-D say the agent is probably not doing his job and that you should get another agent. You agree that you weren't impressed with this agent on your first meeting. You are getting ready to make the largest purchase of your life and you appear to be concerned about hurting someone's feelings??? Just a thought........thank the relative for what they did but tell them your needs weren't met by this agent and you weren't impressed; tell the agent you're going to work with someone else; get a competent agent who meets your needs and impresses you.
Well, she met him in person at a conference but yes, you got it just about right. I know I know ... we're just not very aggressive people and yes this will be the biggest purchse we've ever made it doesn't mean I can just turn off my personality. Anyway, I do appreciate everybody's advice ... the back of my brain is telling me the same thing so maybe I should listen to it!
I do understand how difficult it is as a buyer and having reservations about one's realtor because we are in the same position.
You hit it spot on with the entire post! I'd rep you but apparently I've done it too recently already.
My inexperience in real estate puts me in a position where I question: am I docking points from the guy because I'm hoping to find that perfect agent who will hold hands with me and sing "kum-bah-ya" or do I need to read more books, do more research, get educated and stop relying on him for all the answers because afterall, he's esentially a salesman. Not that that's a bad thing but when I buy a car, all the salesman does is negotiate the price for me ... I've already done extensive research on the car.
Okay, maybe that wasn't a good analogy but that's the only one I could come up with 10 minutes before I have to leave for work!!
I want to give the guy one more chance since we only met once and quite honestly I don't my husband and I went too prepared with questions. I know it was his "fault" for not informing us of the real estate process but since I'm willing to give him a second chance, can anyone arm us with some good advice on our next meeting?
You hit it spot on with the entire post! I'd rep you but apparently I've done it too recently already.
My inexperience in real estate puts me in a position where I question: am I docking points from the guy because I'm hoping to find that perfect agent who will hold hands with me and sing "kum-bah-ya" or do I need to read more books, do more research, get educated and stop relying on him for all the answers because afterall, he's esentially a salesman. Not that that's a bad thing but when I buy a car, all the salesman does is negotiate the price for me ... I've already done extensive research on the car.
Okay, maybe that wasn't a good analogy but that's the only one I could come up with 10 minutes before I have to leave for work!!
I want to give the guy one more chance since we only met once and quite honestly I don't my husband and I went too prepared with questions. I know it was his "fault" for not informing us of the real estate process but since I'm willing to give him a second chance, can anyone arm us with some good advice on our next meeting?
Well...when I begin my beef with our agent down the road, I plan to start with the fact that from the get-go we informed her that we were inexperienced, and we needed her to explain everything and to always let us know what is going on. (This would have alleviated alot of nervousness and fear!) I will proceed to demonstrate to her the ways in which she avoided us, didnt answer our questions completely/correctly/or in full (b/c I learned my answers elsewhere and discovered she was misleading us). So just for starters and to lay the foundation, make sure he is aware of the extent of his help you're going to need (it should be obvious, right?) so there is no question of it ever coming back to you as "oh, I didnt know this was your first purchase". Probably unlikely, but thats where I'm starting in my complaints later on. I'll let the realtors and experienced others give you the good scoop, though!
Well...when I begin my beef with our agent down the road, I plan to start with the fact that from the get-go we informed her that we were inexperienced, and we needed her to explain everything and to always let us know what is going on. (This would have alleviated alot of nervousness and fear!) I will proceed to demonstrate to her the ways in which she avoided us, didnt answer our questions completely/correctly/or in full (b/c I learned my answers elsewhere and discovered she was misleading us). So just for starters and to lay the foundation, make sure he is aware of the extent of his help you're going to need (it should be obvious, right?) so there is no question of it ever coming back to you as "oh, I didnt know this was your first purchase". Probably unlikely, but thats where I'm starting in my complaints later on. I'll let the realtors and experienced others give you the good scoop, though!
No. No No NO!! It's not for later on. If you are dissatisfied, tell them NOW. Do not sit on the issues & complain later. DO it NOW, so they know the problem, and might actually work to correct it. Call yoru agent NOW, and let them know what your issues are, why you feel they aren't doing what you need done. Do not wait, do it NOW. And if they don't work on correcting it, or possibly on showing you that they are in act doing all that stuff but somehow didn't demonstrate it to you, you need to see what you can do so that you aren't going through the process being under served an or under represented. This is a big important thing you are doing, and working with someone you feel isn't doing what you need done is a mistake. Fix it NOW before it costs you either your peace of mind or a piece of your bank account. Or both.
I may have been a little vague as to when you should deal with this issue, so I just want to clarify it here.
NOW!
Ralatives, well that can be one of the first issues, but if you seriously are interested, that listen to the posters, as all seem to agree, find another agent. Just simply tell your relative, the agent is not a good fit. One of the first things any good agent will do, is have you understand and answer of all your questions, and buying should be a fun time, and take all your worries away, and help you get the best deal that works for you. Good luck, and you least conern is your relative, and most importantly, feel good about your future. It happens all the time, so your choice, obviously.
No. No No NO!! It's not for later on. If you are dissatisfied, tell them NOW. Do not sit on the issues & complain later. DO it NOW, so they know the problem, and might actually work to correct it. Call yoru agent NOW, and let them know what your issues are, why you feel they aren't doing what you need done. Do not wait, do it NOW. And if they don't work on correcting it, or possibly on showing you that they are in act doing all that stuff but somehow didn't demonstrate it to you, you need to see what you can do so that you aren't going through the process being under served an or under represented. This is a big important thing you are doing, and working with someone you feel isn't doing what you need done is a mistake. Fix it NOW before it costs you either your peace of mind or a piece of your bank account. Or both.
I may have been a little vague as to when you should deal with this issue, so I just want to clarify it here.
NOW!
So what you're saying is...I should do it now? J/k! I couldnt help myself . I really do learn so much from everyone on this forum. The issue I have with confronting the agent now is that whole thing where "if you thought I wasnt helping you before, you just wait and see what it reallllly feels like to be uninformed". My target-->HOUSE. I do not want the agent to cost me more money nor more frustration. But for now, it feels like all of my own research has provided me with the information I need to proceed and make decisions where SHE should have helped, true. But she can easily respond with "well, all you had to do was ask" etc. Well how do you ask questions that you dont know to ask, and when you've received answers that were incorrect, why would anyone trust to continue asking questions? She's definitely connivingly covering her tail or else she's not the brightest crayon in the box. Thats ok, I'll play along and just stand my ground on things even if it goes against her 'advice'. We're getting closer to being done with it all though. Why is this a bad move, because it lets a less than stellar realtor remain unchecked? Lemme think about it...
jctx - The more I read these posts, the more I'm mustering up the "courage" to relate to the realtor our condition and expectations. I really appreciate the fact that I can learn from you guys.
I think everybody's provided really good advice for me and thank you so much. I will give this guy one more chance. I will be forthright right and then I will evaluate whether to keep him or dump him.
Please do yourself a favor and listen to the people who are telling you to get a new agent now before you are in the thick of things. You say that you did not have a good impression of your agent and you need to keep in mind that this is the person who will be representing YOU during all of the interactions with the sellers and the seller's agents. You will not be able to speak with the sellers or their agents and you will need to completely rely on this person to do all of your communicating for you. If you did not have a good impression of the agent, if the sellers and their agents also do not get a good impression, that is the impression that they will have of YOU since he/she your representative.
We went with an agent who we had reservations about and now the sellers of our dream house won't even talk to us because he offended them so badly and gave us poor advice and now this reflects on US. We are now in a big mess and having to find a new realtor who can hopefully pick up the pieces and smooth things over and we will be paying a lot more for the house plus we are so stressed that we are sick worrying about someone else buying this house before we can get a new offer going with a new realtor.
I am constatly researching and thought that I had it all figured out and didn't need much help from my realtor other than letting us into the properties and writing up a contract....wrong...wrong....wrong. This may have cost us our dream house and if not, it cost us at least $10,000 because now we are having to offer more to smooth things over.
I think that's a great idea. Seems to me he gave you quite a bit of information to digest on the first visit, you aren't at the point, really, IMO, to go into what the steps are. You're right now sorting out what you want, where you want to be, and being educated on the differences of the various types of transactions. In reality, that IS the first step. From there, you start asking additional questions, he starts giving additional information and guiding you through the process. Again, IMO, I think you would have had information overload. It's a lot to take in the first time around.
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I know I know ... we're just not very aggressive people and yes this will be the biggest purchse we've ever made it doesn't mean I can just turn off my personality. Anyway, I do appreciate everybody's advice ... the back of my brain is telling me the same thing so maybe I should listen to it!
. I really do learn so much from everyone on this forum. The issue I have with confronting the agent now is that whole thing where "if you thought I wasnt helping you before, you just wait and see what it reallllly feels like to be uninformed". My target-->HOUSE. I do not want the agent to cost me more money nor more frustration. But for now, it feels like all of my own research has provided me with the information I need to proceed and make decisions where SHE should have helped, true. But she can easily respond with "well, all you had to do was ask" etc. Well how do you ask questions that you dont know to ask, and when you've received answers that were incorrect, why would anyone trust to continue asking questions? She's definitely connivingly covering her tail or else she's not the brightest crayon in the box. Thats ok, I'll play along and just stand my ground on things even if it goes against her 'advice'. We're getting closer to being done with it all though. Why is this a bad move, because it lets a less than stellar realtor remain unchecked? 
Lemme think about it...
