Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well it's been well over a month since I threw in the towel on dating, and I have to say it still feels great. For those of you who are like me and overanalyze and constantly wonder where you stand, what the other person is thinking, why are they doing certain things, and what do they mean....there is a way to get this weight off your shoulders: Just stop doing it.
Dating is NOT worth it. Just look at the people who ARE in relationships and all the problems they have, and the sacrafices they've made that haven't paid off. If it's meant to happen, it just will. Enjoy your life, quit catering to someone who isn't worth your time. Dating, worrying about ever getting married, wishing you had someone there for you....it's an illusion. It's not real. If you find it...bonus! But I've realized you can live your life and be perfectly happy not pursuing the opposite sex.
None of the crap that dating puts you through is worth it. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm doing great, summer in the city couldn't be going any better!
I guess this is your way of staying "safe". It's ok. I agree with you in one area - you must enjoy your own life and your own company. You must be in a confident, happy place before you can bring anyone into your life. I think this is true for friends as well as dating.
All that said, it sounds like your feel very insecure in past dating relationships. You mention, constant worry, not knowing where you stand, wondering what the other one is thinking ... these are not the thoughts of a healthy relationship. What you describe is a relationship that is unstable and that can not be good for anyone.
Spend some time thinking about what you want in life. You have every right to live the life you want - but you must plan it. Do you want a healthy relationship that is stable, secure and brings you joy? If so, get to work ... on yourself! Try to learn why you have been in the relationship(s) you describe. What changes do you need to make to get what you want from a relationship. This is not to say you must start dating. From the sound of your post, you aren't ready. So take this time to learn to help yourself, be happy, and take some real time to determine what you want out of your life.
Best wishes, my friend.
Op I'm sorry bad things happened to you, but I have hope for you and me. If I gave up after every relationship went bad, I would be sad and depressed. Instead I "Believe" And I will "Believe for you"
Well it's been well over a month since I threw in the towel on dating, and I have to say it still feels great. For those of you who are like me and overanalyze and constantly wonder where you stand, what the other person is thinking, why are they doing certain things, and what do they mean....there is a way to get this weight off your shoulders: Just stop doing it.
Dating is NOT worth it. Just look at the people who ARE in relationships and all the problems they have, and the sacrafices they've made that haven't paid off. If it's meant to happen, it just will. Enjoy your life, quit catering to someone who isn't worth your time. Dating, worrying about ever getting married, wishing you had someone there for you....it's an illusion. It's not real. If you find it...bonus! But I've realized you can live your life and be perfectly happy not pursuing the opposite sex.
None of the crap that dating puts you through is worth it. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm doing great, summer in the city couldn't be going any better!
You sound like a bitter woman who has been jilted by her former lover(s).
I am happy to be in a relationship because of constant and frequent SEX. Love having someone to go to the beach with, play tennis, go to concerts, drink wine with. There's no illusion only good times. Happiness, then more sex.
I think you just need to step back and take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why your relationships always seem to fail. Could it be you? Could it be that you seem to be attracted to losers (even though they may look good)?
One thing that people who struggle in relationships seem to have in common is that they have an inability to make new friends. I know you'll say that "I have plenty of friends......... blah blah blah" but do you seem to make new friends? Just be friendly to people. Smile at the guy who smiles at you while in line at Starbucks. If someone says hello to while perusing the books at Borders, say hello back and maybe strike up a conversation. Dont start analyzing things like "what do I say?" "What does he want?", "Oh Im so nervous". etc. Its just talking to another human being.
Getting yourself in the gym to lose some weight wont hurt either.
You constantly post about your dating woes. Get off the computer and go out there and have fun. If you don't want to date, don't. Nobody but you really cares anymore. If life is so great without a relationship, have fun.
I guess this is your way of staying "safe". It's ok. I agree with you in one area - you must enjoy your own life and your own company. You must be in a confident, happy place before you can bring anyone into your life. I think this is true for friends as well as dating.
All that said, it sounds like your feel very insecure in past dating relationships. You mention, constant worry, not knowing where you stand, wondering what the other one is thinking ... these are not the thoughts of a healthy relationship. What you describe is a relationship that is unstable and that can not be good for anyone.
Spend some time thinking about what you want in life. You have every right to live the life you want - but you must plan it. Do you want a healthy relationship that is stable, secure and brings you joy? If so, get to work ... on yourself! Try to learn why you have been in the relationship(s) you describe. What changes do you need to make to get what you want from a relationship. This is not to say you must start dating. From the sound of your post, you aren't ready. So take this time to learn to help yourself, be happy, and take some real time to determine what you want out of your life.
Best wishes, my friend.
I haven't had any recent past relationships, but thanks for commenting and determining what's healthy/unhealthy. I was fine before I was dating, and I'm even better now. It's just a burden that is no longer there, more like a pain in the ass than a burden, it was such an annoyance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
Op I'm sorry bad things happened to you, but I have hope for you and me. If I gave up after every relationship went bad, I would be sad and depressed. Instead I "Believe" And I will "Believe for you"
There weren't really "bad things" that happened, it just sucked and it made no sense to me. It was all garbage. I look back and the women I dated were so messed up it's like I couldn't believe I went out with them. Good thing I ended that. I think of dating as a bad habit that I've kicked...like cigarrettes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston
People struggle in dating don't try hard enough, or don't try.
Dating is simple. it's never been a hard or complex thing. Just be you, end of story.
There's nothing simple about it man. It's complex, it's stupid, and it's because men and women are different species. Women are all different in many ways from each other. There's nothing simple, it's all a bunch of garbage. And it's trash that I don't have to take out anymore
It's great, try it sometime.
P.S. I haven't posted in weeks, probably won't post again for a while, too busy enjoying summer. Peace!
Dating is NOT worth it. Just look at the people who ARE in relationships and all the problems they have, and the sacrafices they've made that haven't paid off. If it's meant to happen, it just will. Enjoy your life, quit catering to someone who isn't worth your time. Dating, worrying about ever getting married, wishing you had someone there for you....it's an illusion. It's not real. If you find it...bonus! But I've realized you can live your life and be perfectly happy not pursuing the opposite sex.
You can be happy without other people. Some of the most unhappy people I have met are always running around looking for "someone to make them happy". Well no one can really do that. You have to find that yourself.
Dating can be worth it, you just have to learn that quality is better than quantity. And pick and choose wisely.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
