Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
By no means am I trying to seem as if Im better (and I myself have to deal with money issues occasionally) but it just seems like all the guys I meet for dates online are always broke.
It just seems, they never have money to take me out anywhere...or even when I offer to just do something simple like a $1 movie, they cite being broke. In my case, I don't even log onto my dating profile if I dont have gas or money that day.
Its just like, is this what the internet attracts? Older men with money and younger broke men? It just seems my past few dates have been with guys like this and its just making me wonder whether its a bi-product of online dating, the lingering economy, the city Im at, or just a day in the life of a early/mid 20's something dating scenario.
Either way, its becoming a drain. Its hard to enjoy a real dating relationship when its not equal footing. Its like the Billy Preston song....
I'd say you must be really young to have to ask this question. The economy right now SUCKS with a capital "S"! I know I haven't gotten a raise in 3 years! Many people don't even have a job or can't find one. The ones who do got some s***ty clean the turds in the restroom at WAL-MART bathroom job or something!LMAO........... Seriously, where have you been? At least my job never goes away and is ALWAYS needed even though the economy sucks!
It looks like some younger men are under the impression that women are desperate (especially the ones doing online dating) therefore in his mind he's doing you a favour by going out with you. So why should he pay? Don't believe for a second that he doesn't have money to spend, he just doesn't want to spend it on you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestWillow
Are these men REALLY broke, unemployed, low paying job, etc? Or are they just plain old tightwads?
Find out more about them before planning a date.
Probably true. Most men under 25 are in the top 20% of earners. They're just tightwads and its time they were shamed into coughing up. After all, they don't have any alimony to pay, like most of those older guys.
If having alot of money is what it takes to have a girlfriend, or to get a date, then I will do without as I have always done. It will be lonely, and sometimes I get jealous and sad, but sometimes I would resent myself and the would-be date/girlfriend if I made all of those changes solely for the purpose of having a girlfriend
Money shouldn't be the one and only thing to focus on but we can't ignore the fact that it does play an important role for women. Remember how women put men under months/years of probation/observation/tests. Many things are tested during those months/years including your finances.
Quote:
The era of American men spending big on women they barely know, is over
Not sure if women would applaud for that. As it has been talked about already, it makes more sense for me to have equality in the relationship since day #1 where both get to contribute as much and both be in the receiving end, not just the woman. No tests, observations, probation, etc. No gender entitlements. Just nice gestures to each other, both contributing, etc. since day #1.
Last night it was the first time I went out with a girl I met last weekend. We went out for dinner and dessert and she didn't test me, observed me, or put me on probation even though it was the FIRST TIME we went out. We both contributed to expenses and nice gestures. Sometimes I wonder if its their culture (asian) just that plays a part here but that's how it has been when I go out with them.
I still think that the O.P.'s problem is that these young men from the online dating service just aren't into her. For whatever reason, they have no interest in meeting her in person. I know a couple of really broke guys, and they wouldn't have any problems coming up with a $1 or even $10 if it meant that they could have a date with a real woman. And no matter how "broke" a guy is, they all still have fancy cellphones, some even have iPhones. Plus they are on the internet and that costs money.
Money shouldn't be the one and only thing to focus on but we can't ignore the fact that it does play an important role for women. Remember how women put men under months/years of probation/observation/tests. Many things are tested during those months/years including your finances.
Not sure if women would applaud for that. As it has been talked about already, it makes more sense for me to have equality in the relationship since day #1 where both get to contribute as much and both be in the receiving end, not just the woman. No tests, observations, probation, etc. No gender entitlements. Just nice gestures to each other, both contributing, etc. since day #1.
Last night it was the first time I went out with a girl I met last weekend. We went out for dinner and dessert and she didn't test me, observed me, or put me on probation even though it was the FIRST TIME we went out. We both contributed to expenses and nice gestures. Sometimes I wonder if its their culture (asian) just that plays a part here but that's how it has been when I go out with them.
There shouldn't be that probation/tests. That is how I see it. Equity in a relationship is something I can agree on.
Money shouldn't be the one and only thing to focus on but we can't ignore the fact that it does play an important role for women. Remember how women put men under months/years of probation/observation/tests. Many things are tested during those months/years including your finances.
Not sure if women would applaud for that. As it has been talked about already, it makes more sense for me to have equality in the relationship since day #1 where both get to contribute as much and both be in the receiving end, not just the woman. No tests, observations, probation, etc. No gender entitlements. Just nice gestures to each other, both contributing, etc. since day #1.
Last night it was the first time I went out with a girl I met last weekend. We went out for dinner and dessert and she didn't test me, observed me, or put me on probation even though it was the FIRST TIME we went out. We both contributed to expenses and nice gestures. Sometimes I wonder if its their culture (asian) just that plays a part here but that's how it has been when I go out with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte
There shouldn't be that probation/tests. That is how I see it. Equity in a relationship is something I can agree on.
Let me make something clear to you - until you equally clean, cook, do laundry, get pregnant, give birth, take time away from your career to raise children, your dream-of-the-losers "equality" won't be anywhere in sight! Provided you care to be in a heterosexual relationship that is. If you don't believe me, come and report in 10 years.
I still think that the O.P.'s problem is that these young men from the online dating service just aren't into her. For whatever reason, they have no interest in meeting her in person. I know a couple of really broke guys, and they wouldn't have any problems coming up with a $1 or even $10 if it meant that they could have a date with a real woman. And no matter how "broke" a guy is, they all still have fancy cellphones, some even have iPhones. Plus they are on the internet and that costs money.
Alot of people are on the internet. On the other hand, some people go to the library for their internet. For years that is what I did. Now I pick up wireless wherever I can. I can come up with a dollar if necessary. If another woman doesn't mind having ramen and watching one of my old DVD's on my 10-month old laptop, it can be done. For $10, I could manage some fast food or buy ingredients to cook for that woman. I know this because I live with a guy who cooks his own meals(as well as for his girlfriend) and I can cook too. If a woman doesn't mind dating a guy who doesn't have alot of money, for instance myself, then I can come up with alot of ideas for a good time. DVD's, youtube, walking around campus at night, a shake (or 2), visiting a free concert(and I know some places that do that), etc. I'm not a typical guy. I don't own a iPhone(don't really want one), I don't have a cellphone, but I do get internet wherever I can.
I think the issue is that alot of people have forgotten how to do things that don't require much money. Sometimes it is a matter of finding someone who can do things that don't require much money.
Let me make something clear to you - until you equally clean, cook, do laundry, get pregnant, give birth, take time away from your career to raise children, your dream-of-the-losers "equality" won't be anywhere in sight! Provided you care to be in a heterosexual relationship that is. If you don't believe me, come and report in 10 years.
I think that fewer younger men want their women to do all those things--or at least they think they don't.
Alot of people are on the internet. On the other hand, some people go to the library for their internet. For years that is what I did. Now I pick up wireless wherever I can. I can come up with a dollar if necessary. If another woman doesn't mind having ramen and watching one of my old DVD's on my 10-month old laptop, it can be done. For $10, I could manage some fast food or buy ingredients to cook for that woman. I know this because I live with a guy who cooks his own meals(as well as for his girlfriend) and I can cook too. If a woman doesn't mind dating a guy who doesn't have alot of money, for instance myself, then I can come up with alot of ideas for a good time. DVD's, youtube, walking around campus at night, a shake (or 2), visiting a free concert(and I know some places that do that), etc. I'm not a typical guy. I don't own a iPhone(don't really want one), I don't have a cellphone, but I do get internet wherever I can.
I think the issue is that alot of people have forgotten how to do things that don't require much money. Sometimes it is a matter of finding someone who can do things that don't require much money.
I am only addressing the O.P.'s complaint that the young men that she's been chatting with on an online dating site are unwilling to even go to a $1 movie with her... so what is the point of being on a dating site if you can't afford to spend a measly $1 on a night out with a girl?????????? Can you explain that to me?
And I think that the O.P. is so desperate for a date that she'd be willing to go out on a no cost date...a bring your own bottle of water and just sit on a park bench kind of hanging out.
Again, in the O.P.'s case, I think that these guys just aren't interested in meeting her in person and hanging out with her. In fact, I suspect that when she suggests these $1 movie nights, they are sitting at their keyboards laughing at her. I think that they are just playing with her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seriously, where have you been?
At least my job never goes away and is ALWAYS needed even though the economy sucks!
. As it has been talked about already, it makes more sense for me to have equality in the relationship since day #1 where both get to contribute as much and both be in the receiving end, not just the woman. No tests, observations, probation, etc. No gender entitlements. Just nice gestures to each other, both contributing, etc. since day #1. 
