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I married at 18 my wife was 19, we are coming up on our 50th Anniversary and happier than ever. Age has nothing to do with it
That was 50 years ago. Your generation (to its credit) had a better attitude toward marriage than the Boomers and subsequent generations (unfortunately).
Also, 50 years ago it was much easier for folks in their late teens or early 20s to support kids, etc, partly because wages were much better for folks who only had high school educations, and partly because your generation had more realistic lifestyle expectations. Today, it is much, much harder for a 19 or 20 year old to support a kid...although as I've already said...it shocks me how people have kids without being married and act like it's no big deal, despite the huge impact it has on your life and the kids' lives.
Who says you would be broke if you remained single?
It's not inevitable, but statistically speaking, people who get married and stay married generally do much better financially than never married or divorced folks.
It turns out married men tend to earn more than their single counterparts, even when education and other SES fators are included. And married couples have economies of scale. 2 can't live as cheaply as one, but they can definitely live cheaper than two single people in 2 separate households.
Married folks can sometimes pool risk better than single folks as well (i.e. one can go back to school to further their career while the other works full time and they still have enough to pay the bills...This kind of thing is much harder for single folks to do once they're out working full time because they have no one to fall back on).
I would, because I was broke when I was single. I wasn't really doing much to change my situation because I was able to survive and didn't have a desire to really do more about it until I got married.
When I was single I lacked the motivation to save money to do things I wanted to do.
There's no reason for me to think that would have changed if I had continued to remain single.
I think this is true. Marriage gives people a kick in the pants (especially men, I think) that they woudn't have gotten had they remained single. Of course, some people never grow up, no matter how often they get kicked in the pants.
Yes... let us all bow to your moral superiority and wise ways.
My whole life must be some kind of anomaly. I was married young but had plenty of sexual partners (didn't keep track) before I got married. Oops. And I had no children out of wedlock because, despite being 18-19 years old at the time I had multiple partners I still understood what it meant to practice safe sex. My husband is 27 and has a career where is continually advancing. Neither one of us have a college degree, yet we live a stable middle class life. And both of us know how to spell "ridiculous".
Maybe next time you should try stepping off your pedestal before posting, it might help people not want to gag while reading your post.
Actually, I do think your life is an anomaly in a lot of ways. I think the poster you responded to was on his high horse for sure....but he did have some good points. Lets be honest, most young folks who have a lot sexual partners are going to have a kid out of wedlock. That is just the reality of the situation, unfortunately. A lot of people don't even see a problem with it. Moral issues aside, it's a horrible thing to do, financially speaking.
BTW, thank you for the correction on the word "rIdiculous". i find it ridiculous that so many people don't know there's no "e" in that word (especially those on their high horses ).
I've asked you before and didn't receive an answer (I believe you said "how am I supposed to know?") but if love is not a good reason to get married, then what is?
It's not that love isn't a good reason. It's just that it's not the ONLY reason. Being in love is never enough reason to marry.
in fact, as soon as cultures start embracing love marriage, the divorce rate starts to rise immediately.
I love what author Elizabeth Gilbert had to say on the subect:
It turns out that love is a very fragile notion upon which to base a very important and complicated institution. I think most people throughout history would look at the way we choose our marriages today and just think, my God, these people took huge risks. They risk their future, financial stability, property and their heirs on something as fragile and delicate as romantic affection.
It's not that that necessarily means that I advocate a return to arranged marriage, it just helps put in perspective why contemporary western marital arrangements can become so chaotic.
The whole interview was excellent and worth reading. i think we need to drop BOTH the starry eyed romantic view of marriage as well as the cynical view toward it. Those are actually 2 sides of the same coin; since those with unrealistically romantic expectations are more likely to have those expectations crushed, which then makes then cynical. It's time we start viewing marriage from a more pragmatic and realistic standpoint where the romantic aspect is not ignored, but other factors are also given significant weight.
While we may lack maturity and responsibility, I also think times have changed.
We can't blame everything on the fact that times have changed. But we also can't blame everything on lack of maturity.
One of the reasons marrying at 18 used to be so common is because it was easier for 18 year olds to make it in the world.
One of the reasons you see 25 year olds that can't make it on their own these days is because it's harder.
Spot on . It's not an either/or scenario, but some of both. The situation we have is that today's young adults were spoiled by their Boomer parents, at a time when their parents should have been toughening them up for a rough economy (and things have been getting rougher for young folks for more than 20 years now).
All situations are unique and different, for some people having sex and kids outside of marriage works for them..
Ehh, true but only to a point. I think most people take this waaaaay to far. People think THEIR situation is so darn different from everyone else's . The older I get, the more I learn I'm NOT the exception to the rule. If you can get over this "I'm the exception" mentality when you're young, there will be fewer rude awakenings.
Believe it or not, I have actually been flamed by some on that forum for listing all my grammar and spelling pet peeves.
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i find it ridiculous that so many people don't know there's no "e" in that word (especially those on their high horses 
).
