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Interesting. I'd had a serious illness just a year before this incident -- one which I wasn't expected to survive. My wife wouldn't give me a kiss before I went in for surgery -- didn't want to mess her lipstick. In fact, she wouldn't hang around another few minutes until I was carted off because she wanted to have breakfast and get started shopping.
THAT was when I actually decided to divorce her if I survived. For years I'd thought that it was just a matter of time before she came around. Then when we didn't know if I'd live through the morning, she didn't have 5 minutes to give me. That's when I gave up on waiting.
My SIL's husband left her over 20 years ago for a 17 yo chick he met at work (he was 32) and he swore he hadn't actually slept with her yet but like me, she had a hard time believing it. Trouble is, both men were pretty convincing in their stories. Is this even possible? Anyone know of anyone like this? (Her ex just pulled the same thing again on his 3rd wife, who was delightful. Again, swore he hadn't slept with her yet.)
I'd go with my instincts on this stepka. Men don't leave marriages of any length of time, divide financial assets unless they've got something else and sampled the goods first.
Stepka,
You are both HOT looking and have a great career. He must have left you for 1 of 2 reasons-
1-He was just looking for a reason to go and a pretty young boy came along.
2- He's NUTS!
I would not have left home for any of those reason, especially the gay reason!! I have a philosophy that there is nothing outside my marriage will make me leave my marriage. Only what goes on inside my marriage will get me to leave my marriage. Leaving a marriage for something outside the marriage brings expectations, and seldom are those expectations ever met in the long term.
Anything is possible, but I think any man who is willing to leave his wife for someone he hasn't had a test drive with, was probably unhappy about a lot of other things and most likely spared you a lifetime of tedium and resentment in a stagnant marriage. In other words, it was over in his heart long before he left.
Having any number of friends who have contemplated a split, a man really, really has to want to do it--particularly if there are children involved. The financial hit the husband usually takes in terms of spousal support, child support, etc., can be severe.
So when the wife is totally surprised when then husband simply marches in one day and starts packing boxes, it tells me that she just wasn't paying attention.
Interesting. I'd had a serious illness just a year before this incident -- one which I wasn't expected to survive. My wife wouldn't give me a kiss before I went in for surgery -- didn't want to mess her lipstick. In fact, she wouldn't hang around another few minutes until I was carted off because she wanted to have breakfast and get started shopping.
THAT was when I actually decided to divorce her if I survived. For years I'd thought that it was just a matter of time before she came around. Then when we didn't know if I'd live through the morning, she didn't have 5 minutes to give me. That's when I gave up on waiting.
Interesting. I'd had a serious illness just a year before this incident -- one which I wasn't expected to survive. My wife wouldn't give me a kiss before I went in for surgery -- didn't want to mess her lipstick. In fact, she wouldn't hang around another few minutes until I was carted off because she wanted to have breakfast and get started shopping.
THAT was when I actually decided to divorce her if I survived. For years I'd thought that it was just a matter of time before she came around. Then when we didn't know if I'd live through the morning, she didn't have 5 minutes to give me. That's when I gave up on waiting.
Wyo, I don't blame you one bit for that one and I'm glad you got out before you lost all chance at happiness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainman51
Stepka,
You are both HOT looking and have a great career. He must have left you for 1 of 2 reasons-
1-He was just looking for a reason to go and a pretty young boy came along.
2- He's NUTS!
Aw shucks, Mountainman, that was sweet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Having any number of friends who have contemplated a split, a man really, really has to want to do it--particularly if there are children involved. The financial hit the husband usually takes in terms of spousal support, child support, etc., can be severe.
So when the wife is totally surprised when then husband simply marches in one day and starts packing boxes, it tells me that she just wasn't paying attention.
Funny enough, he's blaming me for the divorce now and saying he would have stayed married. Crazy--he thought I'd stick around while he went out with men? Yes, I felt something in the wind, but I thought it was a mid-life crisis, not something this big. Well, he left 1-1/2 years ago and most of the bad stuff is over, and my SIL is married to a wonderful man now, but neither of us can really believe these men and it doesn't matter anyway--I'm ready to move on.
You don't leave to be gay. The guy was always gay.
You're right lisalan, he was as long as he could remember. But he swore up and down that he'd never acted on it beyond one minor incident at work before we got together. Would you believe him if he left a very long marriage for something he'd never done? I swear that I wasn't like Wyo's wife--we got along well and did a lot of things together and I am not cold, if ya know what I mean. I think coolhand is right though--he spared me many more years of tedium and resentment--I could feel his resentment but had no idea where it was coming from--it's b/c I wouldn't grow a set, lol.
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In fact, she wouldn't hang around another few minutes until I was carted off because she wanted to have breakfast and get started shopping. 
