Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i'm very saddened about what i found at my GF's house. all i ask is that you try to really help. i'm distraught. my GF of 9 months is very caring, affectionate, sweet, faithful, and we both have many similar interests. She's always calling me her sexxy italian man--tells me about my wonderful eyes etc. she did mention i'm not the type she usually dates. usually dates jocks-badboys, etc. she's 45 -a few yrs older than me. i love her deeply and profoundly. we talk of marriage. two hours away-long dist relationship. shes working and going to school full time--i teach part time. anywho...
i was leaving her a few stickeynotes with i love you's and sweet sayings for her to find thru the house. i was leaving one in her 'address book'--and it wasn't that--it was a blank note book--and on the page i opened--it said ten things i like about him--ten things i don't. i wasn't suppose to see this--but it was right by her bed--and i'm not a snoop but there was this list with my name on it......i never told her i saw it.!!
finally i read the list and three pages of her thoughts about me. it was written june 1st-it's now almost october 1st. in the list of ten things -one of them says ; "doesn't find him good looking" (me!!), another says "lust factor just not there". in her three pages of thoughts..she also mentions i have a chronic pain condition and what happens if it gets worse--and i become dependent on her--she comments she feels like an ass for feeling this way. she ends it with the good outweighs the bad after doing the list--we'll wait and see. another comment says definately not for the long term. another says can't work fulltime job due to illness--i teach college as an adjunct and with disability benefits do ok enough. on the positive column--she talks about how i make her feel--that i love her--and satisfy her in bed--and am concerned about her feelings and thoughts and dreams.
again--she's alwys acting loving and caring around me. she's good in bed too. what i read was 4 months ago. i found some condoms in the closet--her sex kit--vibrator-yada yada--but i think they were just a single womans stuff. WE DONT USE CONDOMS though!! ONE BIG SIZE CONDOM IN THERE TOO!!! not lying!!
please in all honesty and fairness help. i dont know what to think. she keeps talking about wanting me to move in with her--marriage too. but if i'm NOT good looking in her eyes it's gonna haunt me. i'm no brad pitt-but i'm not deformed. i'm on the thinner nerdy artsy side. i ask her and she says ofcourse i'm attracted to you. but her journal says differently. i thank you for any light you may shed on this.
I think you have to come clean and tell her you read it. Let that begin the conversation, otherwise you will always be left wondering.
Who knows? Sometimes people write out thoughts that are fleeting or temporary. Ignorance is bliss sometimes, but you no longer have that luxury, so best to hash it out.
i'm very saddened about what i found at my GF's house. all i ask is that you try to really help. i'm distraught. my GF of 9 months is very caring, affectionate, sweet, faithful, and we both have many similar interests. She's always calling me her sexxy italian man--tells me about my wonderful eyes etc. she did mention i'm not the type she usually dates. usually dates jocks-badboys, etc. she's 45 -a few yrs older than me. i love her deeply and profoundly. we talk of marriage. two hours away-long dist relationship. shes working and going to school full time--i teach part time. anywho...
i was leaving her a few stickeynotes with i love you's and sweet sayings for her to find thru the house. i was leaving one in her 'address book'--and it wasn't that--it was a blank note book--and on the page i opened--it said ten things i like about him--ten things i don't. i wasn't suppose to see this--but it was right by her bed--and i'm not a snoop but there was this list with my name on it......i never told her i saw it.!!
finally i read the list and three pages of her thoughts about me. it was written june 1st-it's now almost october 1st. in the list of ten things -one of them says ; "doesn't find him good looking" (me!!), another says "lust factor just not there". in her three pages of thoughts..she also mentions i have a chronic pain condition and what happens if it gets worse--and i become dependent on her--she comments she feels like an ass for feeling this way. she ends it with the good outweighs the bad after doing the list--we'll wait and see. another comment says definately not for the long term. another says can't work fulltime job due to illness--i teach college as an adjunct and with disability benefits do ok enough. on the positive column--she talks about how i make her feel--that i love her--and satisfy her in bed--and am concerned about her feelings and thoughts and dreams.
again--she's alwys acting loving and caring around me. she's good in bed too. what i read was 4 months ago. i found some condoms in the closet--her sex kit--vibrator-yada yada--but i think they were just a single womans stuff. WE DONT USE CONDOMS though!! ONE BIG SIZE CONDOM IN THERE TOO!!! not lying!!
please in all honesty and fairness help. i dont know what to think. she keeps talking about wanting me to move in with her--marriage too. but if i'm NOT good looking in her eyes it's gonna haunt me. i'm no brad pitt-but i'm not deformed. i'm on the thinner nerdy artsy side. i ask her and she says ofcourse i'm attracted to you. but her journal says differently. i thank you for any light you may shed on this.
That's what cougars and trophies bring you. Always stick to your age group, amigo. Dump her
45 years old acting like an immature, self centered, barbie wanna be. I think i would find the first exit. Too bad you found the little black book, but you should be glad you did. Shallow at 45 does not bode well for you.
IDK, I'll think I'd have to bail, I couldn't be with a woman that thought so little of me. I couldn't be the third stringer.. which is sorta the way she sounds like think thinks of him.
IDK, I'll think I'd have to bail, I couldn't be with a woman that thought so little of me. I couldn't be the third stringer.. which is sorta the way she sounds like think thinks of him.
You have to talk to her. She has the answers, we don't.
Take into account that those things were written 4 months ago. However, that left 5 months of dating before she wrote that (supposedly). After 5 months, she doesn't sound convinced. Perhaps she hears her clock ticking? At 45 she could be taking whatever she can get? (Just possibilities!)
As for the condoms - they're probably from her past and she just never tossed them. I would consider that insignificant compared to her thoughts about you.
i did have one last thing to point out; not so many women are dying to hang with a poor bloke ..found that out the hardway. guess i'm happy a cute, put together woman finds me interesting enuff to date right now--at this low point in my life (illness--can't work F/T). you all have sound thoughtful comments. thanks. but maybe i can find someone who finds me insanely attractive lol. you are so right about the condoms. she can't have kids by the way. and she says men never seem to stick around--they always hurt her/leave/not interested in long term thing.
I think in any relationship we all have things we don't like about the other person, and we usually don't tell the other person. It's a question of, can the relationship work and can I be happy with this person despite the fact that I don't like such-and-such?
It's a bit different in your case since you now know something she doesn't like about you and which she wasn't planning on telling you. Were there really ten items? What were some of the others?
Do you get the sense that she's just staying with you because she doesn't have anyone better at the moment? Or that she might leave you if someone better comes along?
Overall the tone of your post sounds needy. Sounds like you could work on your self-confidence.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i'm very saddened about what i found at my GF's house. all i ask is that you try to really help. i'm distraught. my GF of 9 months is very caring, affectionate, sweet, faithful, and we both have many similar interests. She's always calling me her sexxy italian man--tells me about my wonderful eyes etc. she did mention i'm not the type she usually dates. usually dates jocks-badboys, etc. she's 45 -a few yrs older than me. i love her deeply and profoundly. we talk of marriage. two hours away-long dist relationship. shes working and going to school full time--i teach part time. anywho...
