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this thread kinda make it seem like it. if not playing hard to get what else do you call women who listen to these rules about how they should always end phone calls and dates first and never call or start talking to the guy and not pick up the first time he calls and all that stuff?
Why are you asking me? Have you read my earlier responses, or does my having a female name just make me one of the faceless women who all act the same in your head? I don't advocate playing hard to get, and I never have.
Shouldn't the woman make an effort aswell is she's intrested? It's always the guy who has to do all the work to prove himself to the woman it seems...
She should make some effort. But as women we are often told about how men feel better if they are the persuers/chasers. We're told that men are wired to want a challenge.
--then she probably doesn't. Hard truth to hear, but there it is. If you've gotten to know a grown woman and she hasn't responded to your flirting or other signals, she's just not that into you. You may have friends that come back to you a year later and lay it on thick about how much they liked you and wanted you to ask them out, but frankly, that's b.s. If she has the courage to spew that stuff now, she had the courage to send out signals a year ago. Take the saccharine for what it is: The empty flattery of a woman who knows you are not going to approach her.
No, it's not the hard truth. It's just your opinion and no matter how many times you call it the hard truth won't change that. As for what you call BS, considering I was there and knew the person and you don't, that puts me in a far better position to know what she was thinking. So I call BS on your claim to know what someone you've never met was thinking. The bottom line is that I showed interest in her, but she made it clear she wasn't interested in dating a man who wasn't the same religion as her. Flash forward a year later and she's upset with me for not pursuing her. You claim that she just said she was interested in order to flatter me. But why would she need to? She knew I was already seeing someone else. I didn't need the ego stroke. The point is that, had she not discouraged me from pursuing her by throwing the religion card in my face, I would've pursued. But by pushing me away, she has no one but herself to blame. That's why labeling me as "not being that into her" is such a lame cop-out and a crutch for many women to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.
She should make some effort. But as women we are often told about how men feel better if they are the persuers/chasers. We're told that men are wired to want a challenge.
By whom? Other women most likely. Don't listen to them for all of our sakes. These rules are as archaic as pinning and trips to the malt shoppe. How about we all live in the 21st century where men and women share equal responsibilities.
By whom? Other women most likely. Don't listen to them for all of our sakes. These rules are as archaic as pinning and trips to the malt shoppe. How about we all live in the 21st century where men and women share equal responsibilities.
Even if it were true that men are wired to want a challenge, the risk is that once they obtain whatever it is they're after, they'll lose interest and look for another challenge.
Even if it were true that men are wired to want a challenge, the risk is that once they obtain whatever it is they're after, they'll lose interest and look for another challenge.
Yeah, I really don;t understand the line of reasoning at all. I think it's an excuse some women use so they don't have to put in any effort, or blame themselves when things go wrong.
Why would you get involved with a person who sees you as anything but another human being. Some people obviously really treat it like a game I guess. The "players" and rule followers deserve eachother as far as i'm concerned. 50% divorce rate and counting, when will they realize that the system is broken?
1) If a woman has to be the one to initiate a date, he's just not that into her. The "rule" states that if he was into her, he would ask her out.
2) If you call him and he does not call back that day, he's not into you.
If he is interested in you, he will make time even in his hectic day to call you.
3) If after you have become intimate, and it's been two months or longer and he has not initiated the question of being exclusive, he is not into you. A man who is interested in a woman will ask her if she is seeing anyone else and will attempt to steer the relationship into exclusivity.
Agree or disagree?
Woman's perspective and opinion here.
Number 1: absolutely true. I think that if a man wants to date you, he will ask you out and do everything in his power to get a date out of you. If he wants to ask you out, he WILL ask you out. It's just that simple.
Although, I'm a big advocate for women to express some kind of an interest in a guy so he feels a certain comfort level to ask in the first place.
Number 2: not always. We cannot know for sure what is going on in his life. Maybe he really didn't get an opportunity to call back, although it's unlikely.
Number 3: Not true. Some men are just not into being exclusive, period. He may very well be crazy about her, but still not be interested in an exclusive relationship.
PS: to be honest, the best rule is not to follow any rule and follow your heart. It always led me in a right direction, why stop now.
We are not talking about days. The rule says the same day, which is a manner of hours.
Days or hours or minutes ... it matters not. When a guy is really CRAZY into a girl he will make sure to have his phone on him at all times, checking to see if she called. And if she hasn't, he would call her. Come on ladies... tell me you've had this experience before!
With any guys with whom I've had a long term relationship, there was always an exclusivity contract that was signed within 1 week to 1 month of starting to date (and has *nothing* to do with timing of physical intimacy)... and every time, the exclusivity was sought out by the man.
So I have the book and I'll post some of the rules just so you can all see..I know the men will go nuts, lol.
1. Be a creature unlike any other
2. Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance)
3. Don't stare at men or talk too much
4. Don't meet him halfway or go dutch on a date
5. Don't call him and rarely return his calls
6. Always end phone calls first
7. Don't accept a Sat. night date after Wed.
8. Fill up your time before a date
9. How to act on dates 1-3
10. How to act on dates 4 through commitment time
11. Always end the date first
12. Stop dating him if he doesn't get you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines day
13. Don't see him more than once or twice a week
14. No more than casual kissing on the first date
15. Don't rush into sex and other intimacy rules
16. Don't tell him what to do
17. Let him take the lead
18. Don't expect a man to change or try to change him
19. Don't open up too fast
20. Be honest but mysterious
21. Rules for personal ads
22. Don't live with a man or leave your things in his Apt
23. Don't date a married man
24. Slowly involve him in your family
25. Practice the rules
26. Even wen engaged and married, still need the rules
27. Do the rules even when your friends and family think you're nuts
There's more that I'll post up later.
That sounds horrible I would never want to date a woman who lived by some of those rules.
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