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My ex was there for our son's birth. He manned-up for the whole experience. I remember seeing one tear trickle down his face when I was in the OR, I ended up having a c-section when I was dilated to 8 or 9 centimeters, and ready to push. Unfortunately, my epideral line got crimped and when they cut me I felt it all . My mom said she could hear my screams all the way out into the waiting room. I don't really remember any of it and I'd do it again, how crazy is that ?
Oh, I do remember that during my labor my ex was eating Chinese food and poking fun at me b/c I was having contractions. Strange what you recall when ur crotch is being stretch beyond recognition.
Oh, my goodness. How awful on feeling the C-section. I can't even imagine. I have three children; the third was a C. I just can't imagine really feeling it. I felt pin-prick sticks.
My husband kept me laughing during my delivery with my second/our first child. It really did the trick. Nothing stops the pain but laughing a little does tend to help, at least a bit. I would have been in much worse shape without him there.
He cut the cord with both our babies. He had sworn he wouldn't do that but when the time came, everything changed and he wanted to be as involved as possible. He was the very first person to hold our first together, even the nurses couldn't hold the baby before DH did.
On a different note...you guys are really freaking me out with all the "rope sheets" and "seeing livers" and my all time favorite "the gutting of moose."
I may back out of this thing all together! Shheesh!
Clawson, a few things here...
First of all, after I had my son, (yes, my husband was there through it all!) the natural childbirth instructor came to congratulate me after my son had been born. I'll never forget what she said: "Honest to god, I had you pegged from the first class on as someone who would never be able to do this naturally. You looked petrified!" --I WAS petrified during those classes, but they helped. That breathing technique does work.
Also, MSB23 made a great point: Having your husband watching a birth video will provide him with a "conceptual notion" of what he's in for.
I guess the bottom line, (and what compelled me to add this) is that it really will be okay in the end...I suspect both you AND your husband will know if his presense there in the labor/delivery room is simply not useful or simply too much for him to bear. I think the important thing is for the two of you to discuss how you feel about it. You, from the standpoint of your concerns about the whole thing, and him, from the standpoint of what he can tolerate witnessing both physically and emotionally. Clearly, it's "not for everyone" and apart from the woman, I don't think attendance should (or should not) be manditory. All guys are different. What has been so heart warming reading through everyone's responses is the fact that so many guys responded.
The whole thing, apart from the pain, the "grossness" AND the beauty in the end is sort of a "rite of passage." Women LOVE to talk about their experiences giving birth, and as I have read through the many pages here, I couldn't help but think that someday, in the future, you too, Clawson, will be chiming in and advising those who have yet to experience it. It's something akin to a "beautiful badge of courage," (if you will...) Is it painful? Yup. Is it pleasant? Nope. Are there moments that just seem "undoable?" Yeah...
However...What awaits you down the line is an experience that is second to none. Whatever the downsides may be, trust me, when you hold that baby for the very first time, ah! --The beauty and joy are far beyond what I could ever attempt to describe here...And all else fades, and pales in comparison!
Location: Phoenix...until next week, then Maryland...tick tock tick tock
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Originally Posted by june 7th
The whole thing, apart from the pain, the "grossness" AND the beauty in the end is sort of a "rite of passage." Women LOVE to talk about their experiences giving birth, and as I have read through the many pages here, I couldn't help but think that someday, in the future, you too, Clawson, will be chiming in and advising those who have yet to experience it. It's something akin to a "beautiful badge of courage," (if you will...) Is it painful? Yup. Is it pleasant? Nope. Are there moments that just seem "undoable?" Yeah...
Another thing, is that there are lots & lots of women out there who choose to do it more than once...there's a reason for that! It is a challenging & rewarding experience that is different for everyone. It is nothing to be too scared of, tho. Lots of us have done it & you guys can get through it, too, in your own way, when the time comes.
Why would any woman and man not want to share this moment of the birth of their child is beyond me. In my opinion the first sight and the first cry of your child is a glimpse of the joy of heaven..Your joy and love will probably never be as great as this moment.
My husband was in the room with both my children. He actually cut the umbilical cord on one of them. It may have grossed him out, but there is little, if any blood. He looks at me with alot more compassion and love. I think he understands the pain and the bond a woman has with the child when he views the birth of a child. We never discussed him being or not in the room with me. If he chooses, he can be up by your side, and don't have to look, but that is something special that he should be there for. Of course we were thrilled to have children, and that would surely make a difference having him in the room, I would guess. Remember, for better, for worse, in sickness and in pain.........
such good suggestions from all!! the men should go to lamaze and see the birthing videos... a good sneak preview, something you dont see everyday!
i remember in my lamaze class,,,looking around the room, at the mix of couples,,,,two couples looked like brother and sister, one couple looked like father and daughter,(quite the age difference) and a couple lesbians were there, and yes, all were stated "partners" ,,, i was just quite amused when we got to the question and answer part of the class,,,after the video,, that was worth going to the class, just for that..tho i did learn alot listening to the answers,,,the first question was about the placenta,,wanting to take it home,,,either to plant it under a tree,,or bury it somewhere around the house,,for good luck??? anyone hear of this??
MBM, years ago when babies were born at home the placenta was buried more for sanitary reasons than for superstition. I do know that around here (appalachia) that there were superstitions and I will ask someone about it when I go out today
the first question was about the placenta,,wanting to take it home,,,either to plant it under a tree,,or bury it somewhere around the house,,
OH MY GOD!
(Ya know, I really think there are times when people can just get too close to a situation...) --I've heard of the hospitals giving the new parents little "gift bags" to take home, but give me a break!
Mainebrokerman, you are too funny! I'm still laughing to myself about what you wrote yesterday!
:........I've heard of the hospitals giving the new parents little "gift bags" to take home, ....
Well, what exactly did you think was in them??? LOL
"--BUT-- (the big BUT) (in MY case, a very very BIG BUTT )
By the time you get to 9+ months, you will so not care how many doctors are in the room, if they brought a news crew, or if they're using the jaws of life & bungee cord to get the baby out. You will just be so ready to love your child on the outside of your body! By the time it's time you are *so* done with being pregnant! " So very true!
My ex was in the room with all of the deliveries. An intern at the time, he was so surprised at the birth of our daughter (#1): me unmedicated, completely natural (as much as a hospital birth is "natural"), no medical interference. His only experience with childbirth prior to that was during his OB training, and not pretty.
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I can't even imagine. I have three children; the third was a C. I just can't imagine really feeling it. I felt pin-prick sticks.
It is a challenging & rewarding experience that is different for everyone. It is nothing to be too scared of, tho. Lots of us have done it & you guys can get through it, too, in your own way, when the time comes. 
