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But who are these supposedly successful black females who cannot find good men to date? I only seem to hear about this only when I read these forums on the internet. I know a bunch of black women and have never heard any of them complain about not finding a good man to date.
I may be wrong but I think this whole issue is overrated.
Aren't there a smattering of 20/20 and Oprah specials on black women who can't find a "good man"? Aren't there a handful of similar stories & even C-SPAN and public television broadcasted discussions about single mothers and the lack of a strong black role model in a household? I believe the President even called this out in some of his speeches. I don't own a television but this is what I hear on the interweb.
I think these are the "supposedly successful black women" who can't find a partner, not necessarily a date. I think the notion of finding a date limits the conversation.
Anyway, I don't discuss dating with my female friends much because there are more interesting things to talk about. I generally interact with more white people than black people, I mean, white folks are everywhere. So, that's (primarily) who I date.
There are not a plethora of black men in corporate america or universities. You know how there's always that one white guy on the professional basketball court?? Well, you generally get that same one black guy in any given Fortune 500 office. As the OP mentioned, I didn't make the extra effort to join a black student's/professional organization, attend a black church, black meetups etc to meet more black people. I think it's a great and necessary option for black women who want to date black men.
I agree with the OP, I find it off-putting when acquaintances want to delve into my dating history. I think interracial dating just draws a natural curiosity from others. Also, I get a lot of these types of questions because I'm the only real live unassuming black woman my co-workers/flag football/ultimate frisbee team members etc, aren't scared of or suspicious of and know well enough to ask. It amazes me how people have so few truly good friends & limited interaction with folks from other races.
Anyway, I've forgotten whether I had a point.
Last edited by heavyweight; 10-19-2010 at 03:02 PM..
I don't believe black women have it any harder in the dating world than white, asian, hispanic...etc. In fact it's PERCEPTIONS that feed into ignorance and further perpetuates stereotypes.
Why is hard for you to fathom that some black females would have a harder time finding dates (particularly if they only date intraracially), when there are plenty of environments like the university I went to, where the black female to male population was dramatically skewed?
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita
Just as you specifically don't have problems dating, why would you assume this is a problem of the majority of black women?
I don't know about the majority, I haven't conducted a poll. I just know that it is recurring enough of a theme to merit discussion.
Why is hard for you to fathom that some black females would have a harder time finding dates (particularly if they only date intraracially), when there are plenty of environments like the university I went to, where the black female to male population was dramatically skewed?
It's not hard to fathom....I just don't buy into it. I could take your same example, put a white woman at a majority minority school and come up with the same conclusion.
i hope not. limiting your perception of "black america" to the people you know is precisely the fallacy that i am trying to point out.
specifically what i'm thinking about, is how you appear to be from from Long Island/Connecticut or therabouts. Yet, over half of blacks in America live in the south.
I don't know how much time you've spent in the south, but it is a pretty stark contrast to the NYC metro area.
I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. If anything I pointed out that my geography plays a strong role in my perceptions, I'd encourage people from the south who happen to be black to share with me their experiences.
But therein would bely the obvious point that most people of all backgrounds go to majority white schools.
And not only that, in white populations in higher education there is never that same huge gender skew.
So that point will still generally remain.
That's because the ratio of marjority black schools vs. majority white is a huge skew of it's own.
You missed my point but let's just say this......how many threads, tv shows, books, etc. have you seen written by white women (or any other race) outside of black that claim they can't find a good man. I simply don't believe this "problem" is exclusive to black women, they may be more vocal about it but they are not exclusive by any means.
That's because the ratio of marjority black schools vs. majority white is a huge skew of it's own.
How is it a skew? There are just more whites than others in this country.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita
I simply don't believe this "problem" is exclusive to black women, they may be more vocal about it but they are not exclusive by any means.
Of course, being a minority in a majority culture and the impending social implications are never going to be unique to anyone, but to suggest that the huge intraracial gender skew black women face when attending instutions of higher learning (meaning the pool of similarly educated black men is even narrower than the pool that exist generally, which as Matt pointed out is already a strongly uneven ratio) has zero specific implications seems a little incredulous to me, so much so I'd question the motivations of anyone who would purport that.
How is it a skew? There are just more whites than others in this country.
Hmmm...don't know if I agree with you on that one. But no need to argue as I don't feel like finding the statistics right now.
Quote:
Of course, being a minority in a majority culture and the impending social implications are never going to be unique to anyone, but to suggest that the huge intraracial gender skew black women face when attending instutions of higher learning (meaning the pool of similarly educated black men is even narrower than the pool that exist generally, which as Matt pointed out is already a strongly uneven ratio) has zero specific implications seems a little incredulous to me, so much so I'd question the motivations of anyone who would purport that.
With all due respect, a black woman who chooses to attend a majority white college SHOULD already be aware of the obstacles before her in the dating realm if she is not open to interracial dating. I question the motivations of one who would put themselves in such a situation only to "cry foul" then generalize the black population.
With all due respect, a black woman who chooses to attend a majority white college SHOULD already be aware of the obstacles before her in the dating realm if she is not open to interracial dating. I question the motivations of one who would put themselves in such a situation only to "cry foul" then generalize the black population.
What an absurd statement. The vast majority of colleges U.S. have whites as the majority. Do you propose a black female lock herself out of a chance to attend every Ivy League or top 25 school and beyond??? When she graduates, the sort of environment will likely continue into her professional life and beyond. That's life, that's reality.
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I simply don't believe this "problem" is exclusive to black women, they may be more vocal about it but they are not exclusive by any means.