Vasectomy- should I go or should I stay? (woman, older, pregnant)
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I just came across this thread and while it is 5 1/2 years later I am hoping the original poster may see it and let me know her outcome. I am completely torn in the same exact position. I am 34 and my boyfriend is 40. I made it known to him from day one that I want kids and he told me that he was willing to have it reversed. However, as of late (the past couple of months) he has changed his mind. He did go to the doctor as a courtesy to me to find out his options, but they told him he only has a 25% chance of success, which has essentially closed the door for him. Everything else in our relationship is wonderful. I have been in good and bad relationships in the past and this is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I am just at a complete loss as to what to do. I have tried to imagine my life without kids, but I just can't.
You say you can't imagine your life without kids?
Well, can you imagine your life without him?
If you can, even just a tiny bit, then he is not the man for you and you are better off moving on now before any more time passes.
If you cannot then you start from the reality that HE is your priority and accept what is.
Do not let some romantic notion of needing your own child/children ruin the more important part of your life - a solid wonderful relationship with a good partner.
If he really wanted to raise kids with you, he'd either offer to have the vasectomy reversed or use a sperm donor (as my parents did). I admire him for taking responsibility and getting a vasectomy in the first place, but if he wanted to have kids with you, he'd be looking for solutions, not shoving you away.
Guys who get a vasectomy usually get it because they don't want kids anymore, I would suggest that if you want children don't get involved with a man who has had a vasectomy. Going into a relationship thinking you can change someone's mind is a terrible idea.
I would NEVER date a man who had a vasectomy because that is saying they aren't even open to the idea. Sure some change their mind but most don't. I would date a man who was sterile because that is something he couldn't help but definitely a man who chose to have this done.
I would NEVER date a man who had a vasectomy because that is saying they aren't even open to the idea. Sure some change their mind but most don't. I would date a man who was sterile because that is something he couldn't help but definitely a man who chose to have this done.
Aren't you like 45 or so??? why is this such an issue for you..... getting preggers in your 40's isn't a great idea, too many complications.... you'd be better off adopting....
I would NEVER date a man who had a vasectomy because that is saying they aren't even open to the idea. Sure some change their mind but most don't. I would date a man who was sterile because that is something he couldn't help but definitely a man who chose to have this done.
I would NEVER date a man who had a vasectomy because that is saying they aren't even open to the idea. Sure some change their mind but most don't. I would date a man who was sterile because that is something he couldn't help but definitely a man who chose to have this done.
Your in your 40s, unless you've been to the doctor to confirm you are still fertile, why would you care if a guy had a vasectomy?
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Aren't you like 45 or so??? why is this such an issue for you..... getting preggers in your 40's isn't a great idea, too many complications.... you'd be better off adopting....
You always start your posts like this. No one cares, it's not about you.
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..... getting preggers in your 40's isn't a great idea, too many complications.... you'd be better off adopting....
