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Was talking to someone the other day and they mentioned that fights are a necessary part of a relationship to keep it healthy (i.e. fight and then make up). I have always thought it's way better to resolve disagreements in a more mature manner (i.e. talking it out in a civil way) rather than fighting which causes unnecessary relationship stress. What do you think?
I have been in fights in past relationships and can't think of one good thing that came out of that situation, infact we came close to breakup each time and it just eroded trust going forward even if we did make up. Fighting in my opinion also demonstrates communication difficulties between the couple since it's usually the result of things building up into an explosive situation.
So I can't really relate to this philosophy of fights being a healthy part of any relationship
and your point is what? That you believe that fighting is necessary or not? What does "Good for you" actually mean? How does your 3 word statement contribute to this discussion?
You'd have to work pretty hard to pick a fight with me. If someone is contentious, and doesn't have the skills to turn it around really quickly, I just walk away from the relationship. Even that rarely happens. IMHO most guys duck out because they are so afraid of arguing that they don't want to push their luck. Lots of guys I go out with assume I'll be mad about stuff that I don't even care about. I assume that is based on reactions from previous relationships. I guess I tend to date passive types, which is a risk I'm willing to take. I grew up in an angry home and married an angry man.
With the exception of my daughters, of course. I love them unconditionally. We argue occasionally. But I don't take it personally. Mostly it's just about raising our voices to get our point across. Like "I'm not driving you to your friend's house until you finish your chores!"
But if by fighting you mean saying hurtful things? Trying to one-up the other person? Saying "I told you so!" Manipulating the facts to get your own way? Not healthy things.
Arguments/disagreements/differences in opinion will happen regardless of if its a spouse or a family member or just a friend in life. It is part of having a personal realtionship and interacting with one another with feelings invested.
The notion you NEED this to be present and heated to keep a relationship relavent however is just plain stupid.
Last edited by rego00123; 01-29-2016 at 02:30 PM..
Was talking to someone the other day and they mentioned that fights are a necessary part of a relationship to keep it healthy (i.e. fight and then make up). I have always thought it's way better to resolve disagreements in a more mature manner (i.e. talking it out in a civil way) rather than fighting which causes unnecessary relationship stress. What do you think?
I have been in fights in past relationships and can't think of one good thing that came out of that situation, infact we came close to breakup each time and it just eroded trust going forward even if we did make up. Fighting in my opinion also demonstrates communication difficulties between the couple since it's usually the result of things building up into an explosive situation.
So I can't really relate to this philosophy of fights being a healthy part of any relationship
I do not agree that fights are a "necessary" part of a healthy relationship. My definition of a healthy relationship is when both people trust and respect each other. They always treat their partner with value. People in healthy relationships can certainly have disagreements, but that's a far cry from fighting, which involves hurtful name-calling and out of control tempers. Like you, I agree that fights can erode a relationship.
Semantics...everyone has a different definition of "fight". For some people, even raising the voice slightly to emphasize words and make a point is a "fight". Some others wouldn't say it's a fight unless they come to blows with each other!
The point is that there WILL BE DISAGREEMENTS and THEY MUST BE ACKNOWLEDGED and RESOLVED for it to be a healthy relationship.
and your point is what? That you believe that fighting is necessary or not? What does "Good for you" actually mean? How does your 3 word statement contribute to this discussion?
You're that dense that you didn't catch that I was complimenting what, at that time, I believed to be your maturity? Unfortunately I changed my assessment of that.
Semantics...everyone has a different definition of "fight". For some people, even raising the voice slightly to emphasize words and make a point is a "fight". Some others wouldn't say it's a fight unless they come to blows with each other!
The point is that there WILL BE DISAGREEMENTS and THEY MUST BE ACKNOWLEDGED and RESOLVED for it to be a healthy relationship.
Bin-go. Not necessary but unavoidable. The 'how' in the resolution is key.
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