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I posted a couple weeks ago asking about whether I should ask out my friend. I got rejected, but I think it was the right call.
We are pretty good friends (and based on her behaviour, she genuinely wants to remain good friends), so we've been honest and open with each other since then. She seems to genuinely care about how I feel.
I've learned in the past that the best way to move on is to cut contact. This situation, however, is different because we're forced to see each other several times a week because of school. I've cut down contact via texting/chatting -- one variable that I can control.
But, because of the aforementioned reason, I'm having trouble moving on. Of course one solution would be to get interested in someone else, but that's not going to just happen overnight. If I'm still having trouble a little bit from now, should I talk to her about it (I wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing this)? Is there anything I can do in the meantime?
I would give yourself a little more time and also try to minimize how much you really hang around her. You might be in the same class as her at school, but you don't have to sit next to her. I think most people would understand why you need a little space.
I think that you also just need time. You asked, she said no, you remained friends. Do you really need to "move on"? I think that in time, and less texting, things will get better and you'll still appreciate her as a friend. If you have to go to school together, there isn't much you can do. I think what you're having a hard time with is knowing what emotions you had for her, and then being rejected. Probably seeing her on a daily or weekly basis isn't letting that cut heal but it really will in time.
I posted a couple weeks ago asking about whether I should ask out my friend. I got rejected, but I think it was the right call.
We are pretty good friends (and based on her behaviour, she genuinely wants to remain good friends), so we've been honest and open with each other since then. She seems to genuinely care about how I feel.
I've learned in the past that the best way to move on is to cut contact. This situation, however, is different because we're forced to see each other several times a week because of school. I've cut down contact via texting/chatting -- one variable that I can control.
But, because of the aforementioned reason, I'm having trouble moving on. Of course one solution would be to get interested in someone else, but that's not going to just happen overnight. If I'm still having trouble a little bit from now, should I talk to her about it (I wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing this)? Is there anything I can do in the meantime?
Crushes can be painful
Try hard to find something to keep you really busy so you won't have as much time to think about her. Throw yourself into a project of some kind!
I think that you also just need time. You asked, she said no, you remained friends. Do you really need to "move on"? I think that in time, and less texting, things will get better and you'll still appreciate her as a friend. If you have to go to school together, there isn't much you can do. I think what you're having a hard time with is knowing what emotions you had for her, and then being rejected. Probably seeing her on a daily or weekly basis isn't letting that cut heal but it really will in time.
Okay, this sounds reasonable. I guess I'll try to stay as distant as possible at school as well.
Heh, yeah... At least I learned a lot from that thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Crushes can be painful
Try hard to find something to keep you really busy so you won't have as much time to think about her. Throw yourself into a project of some kind!
I do have a lot of things to keep myself involved during the day, fortunately. But, it's worst at night, for example, when I'm winding down and my mind is free to race -- especially as I'm trying to go to bed.
I didn't get fully "over" my college crush until I graduated. It was a small campus, we were in the same major, the same music ensembles, and generally moved in the same circles. It took a loooooooooooooong stretch of not seeing him on a regular basis (well, ever, actually, given that I moved several states away) before I was able to get past it. Time and distance were key.
I didn't get fully "over" my college crush until I graduated. It was a small campus, we were in the same major, the same music ensembles, and generally moved in the same circles. It took a loooooooooooooong stretch of not seeing him on a regular basis (well, ever, actually, given that I moved several states away) before I was able to get past it. Time and distance were key.
Sure sounds like it. We have two conferences coming up. I want to go to the one she's going to, but because we'd be around each other a lot for the duration, I don't think I should. I feel like I should go to the other conference instead.
Why the F does he need more time? They weren't going out or anything. He asked out a chick and she had no. So he has to wait to ask out a different chick? That is just beyond stupid.
No way you are going to feel comfortable remaining friends with her until you get over her. Time isn't going change that, one of your situations are. She starts dating some dude, you know you need to move on. Or you can do the less painful route and move on now.
Er, I don't think anyone was implying that I would have to wait before I asked someone else out...
I don't see how time can't change your last point, i.e., feeling comfortable remaining friends.
I have a track record of taking a while to get over people -- it doesn't help that I always seem to ask out friends, for reasons that aren't relevant to the current topic at hand.
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