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I'll explain: For a long time I didn't date because I had two really bad relationships, one right after the other. After the last one crashed and burned, I swore off seeking women for quite some time. I couldn't be bothered with the stress of a relationship. I simply didn't want to handle any future possible negatives, no matter how minor they might be. For me, it didn't seem to be worth it. Maybe it was just me, but I seemed to attract the crazies and it was painful for my brain. I just couldn't handle it.
I actually lost a chance with a great gal; I actually turned her down. I remember I told her straight up I was worried about anything remotely stressful, and my brain wouldn't be able to handle it.
So my question is this: Do you avoid dating because of the stress a relationship puts on you? Have you had a string of bad relationships that have taxed you to the limit? I understand my past has negatively affected future chances, I\m not okay with that but I accept it.
Stories?
Last edited by The_gateway; 02-02-2011 at 01:25 AM..
Reason: missed somethin
Yes and no. I date but right now I am not in committed relationships but more or less "open relationships" with the women I am with. I don't stay committed because of pay relationships and right not it is too taxing for me personally. I have so much I need to put together in life, accomplish and want to see, I'm not ready to be with a girl and settle down. On top of that, I really do love women and being with different types. Call it "womenizing" or whatever but they know what they're getting themselves into and vice versa.
Also, I'm very happy being single and not having to always worry about jealousy, having to always go out my etc. I love the liberty I have right now and I love not feeling exclusive. I'm 24 and I'm not trying to rush anything.
I'll explain: For a long time years ago I didn't date because I had two really bad relationships, one right after the other. After the last one crashed and burned, I swore off seeking women for quite some time. I couldn't be bothered with the stress of a relationship. I simply didn't want to handle any future possible negatives, no matter how minor they might be. For me, it didn't seem to be worth it. Maybe it was just me, but I seemed to attract the crazies and it was painful for my brain. I just couldn't handle it.
I actually lost a chance with a great gal; I actually turned her down. I remember I told her straight up I was worried about anything remotely stressful, and my brain wouldn't be able to handle it.
So my question is this: Do you avoid dating because of the stress a relationship puts on you? Have you had a string of bad relationships that have taxed you to the limit? Stories?
Yes, and this is why I expect to never go out on a date the rest of my life. And I REALLY mean this. And I am pretty sure this is how it'll turn out.
I'm in a committed relationship now with a wonderful man, but the ones before him, for the most part, weren't so wonderful. I never thought dating was too much trouble though, I didn't swear it off. I probably should have.
Now, if my hunny and I didn't make it for some reason, I might decide to stay single. When I met him, I wasn't really looking for love or commitment so, while I don't like the idea of being without him, I do like the idea of being alone....if that makes any sense.
I will never say never... I have always kept one meeting... dating apart from the other. I love the comment about being "upfront" with what you are looking for in a dating situation. That is not always the case. Many men I've met claim to be looking for "the love that will surprise them" when really all they are looking for is a regular roll in the hay LOL... I guess the great thing about being older and wiser is seeing this "ploy" a mile away .... I never get discouraged but do go out with a group of close friends much more often... guaranteed a great time and many laughs... if a relationship happens it happens but I will enjoy laughter and friends and of course the great outdoors as often as possible. :0
I'm married right now but should that ever change for whatever reason I would absolutely NOT date. I'm not a person who has to be in a relationship plus after hearing all of the dating horror stories I know I no longer have the patience for it.
Last edited by carlitasway; 02-02-2011 at 07:32 AM..
The only bad times I've had was when I sought unmet needs in another person (love, acceptance, happiness, success). Once I found those things within myself and for myself, things have been rapidly improving.
Why is a relationship stressful to you? You shouldn't be trying to drive it towards anything or be expecting someone else to make you happy/content in life. Even if that person walks away or does something hurtful, it really isn't the end of the world.
Yes and no. I date but right now I am not in committed relationships but more or less "open relationships" with the women I am with. I don't stay committed because of pay relationships and right not it is too taxing for me personally. I have so much I need to put together in life, accomplish and want to see, I'm not ready to be with a girl and settle down. On top of that, I really do love women and being with different types. Call it "womenizing" or whatever but they know what they're getting themselves into and vice versa.
Also, I'm very happy being single and not having to always worry about jealousy, having to always go out my etc. I love the liberty I have right now and I love not feeling exclusive. I'm 24 and I'm not trying to rush anything.
I'll explain: For a long time I didn't date because I had two really bad relationships, one right after the other. After the last one crashed and burned, I swore off seeking women for quite some time. I couldn't be bothered with the stress of a relationship. I simply didn't want to handle any future possible negatives, no matter how minor they might be. For me, it didn't seem to be worth it. Maybe it was just me, but I seemed to attract the crazies and it was painful for my brain. I just couldn't handle it.
I actually lost a chance with a great gal; I actually turned her down. I remember I told her straight up I was worried about anything remotely stressful, and my brain wouldn't be able to handle it.
So my question is this: Do you avoid dating because of the stress a relationship puts on you? Have you had a string of bad relationships that have taxed you to the limit? I understand my past has negatively affected future chances, I\m not okay with that but I accept it.
Stories?
Yes, the "trouble" I'd get into with my wife would make it not worth it.
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