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Grrrrr....there's some selective reading comprehension going on here!
I wish you would've bolded the slow, measured response to LDR/online meetings. Again, no one here is questioning your intentions. To take citydata's comments to heart who has not had a relationship is, well, exactly why do you?
18 to 28 is a huge age disparity. Emotionally and that doesn't mean she has to try on every man's pants on the block. The whole insecurity thing on her part, that is a clue; a veritable tip of the iceberg.
Just responding to replies to my thread, as I am able.
Quote:
What's wrong with a 23-25 year old out of school and working in some kind of career? Why pluck an immature, insecure thing into your web? Ahhhh, I've torn a hole in your facade. You're really 40-50 something. I mean, if you're 28, you have quite a nice dating pool to choose from. Why not go through your church or other churches? They have youth groups, bible study, some even (gasp!) have dances/meet greet functions.
No...I am actually, and honestly, between 30-32 (not gonna give an exact age for online privacy reasons). I've tried all of the venues you suggested...they failed, miserably. Besides, she and I both love each other...what's so bad about that?
A valid concern Although, like I said, I have no intentions whatsoever, of "getting physical" with her. If I were to find out she were underage, and that she was not truthful with me, no harm done, b/c no physical intimacy = no possibility of being arrested, right? At least, that's what I had thought? I mean, I can't go to jail, for just talkng to her right?
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Originally Posted by city_data91
If she turns out to be underage, could he really go to jail for that?
It's not like he did anything illegal. He said he would end it right away if she turned out to be underage.
Laws vary. I can't say for sure. And remember, it doesn't always matter if anything physical actually happened... intent can be almost as damning.
Knight, you really do need to find some way to find out for sure.
OK, it's rather obvious that some ppl here think I'm a really evil person for simply caring about this girl romantically, even though that's actually the furthest thing from my mind (i.e., having "evil" thoughts) I think I'm gonna take a break from all the judgment/condemnation, and just turn in for tonight.
Citydata, are you talking about the relationship you had when you were 10? That's the thread I know of and yes, a few phone calls at 10 years old is not a mature relationship.
I think Knight will learn in good time. I do hope everything works out. But wow, he's now 30 something with an 18 year old. *deep sigh*
What makes you guys think the people responding who are much older and wiser and really shouldn't care take the time to respond to your threads? Like I get some vicarious thrill out of demeaning you? Some of us have learned a little and want to share. I value the majority of opinions here as this forum has some pretty smart people. Like with all advice, take it or leave it. No skin off my nose.
OK, it's rather obvious that some ppl here think I'm a really evil person for simply caring about this girl romantically, even though that's actually the furthest thing from my mind (i.e., having "evil" thoughts) I think I'm gonna take a break from all the judgment/condemnation, and just turn in for tonight.
So, who are all these people who think you're evil?
It's not that anyone thinks you're evil. It's that we think you're either walking into a huge mess. Or you're a particularly fiendish troll. I still haven't decided which.
First off, if there was a Beta Male Olympics, you'd be competing for the gold.
Secondly, I've been down this round before about 8 years ago, so take it from me. You absolutely cannot compliment or love someone out of this stage. They need to do it on there own. In fact, you need need to be conscious of not giving her too many compliments. I know that runs counter to your beta male instincts, but feeding her too many compliments in these situations only feeds her need to be validated.
I was thinking the same thing.
I felt similarly about myself in high school and I had a boyfriend who was sweet like you come across. His assurance over time made me see more clearly that I was all the things he said I was.
I don't want her to lie...what else would would you have me do though, as an alternative to that? Any suggestions you might have in how to have the parents form a positive impression of me, would actually be deeply appreciated.
For starters, maybe you should contact them and let them know you've been talking to their daughter? Maybe you should let them know that you want to date her. Maybe you should inform this "girlfriend" how important it is that you two come out in the open?
Donie has it right. Any dad with a lick of sense is going to knock you into next week. You are deceiving them in a way that they may consider unforgivable. I can imagine your next response will include excuses... how you've told her to simply tell them, how she's free to do so, how you love her and can't stop talking to her. The truth is, you are choosing to go behind these people's backs.
Do you really imagine they will warm to this? If you want any shot of building an honest relationship with them, this must end now. And keep in mind that it isn't just about them. If this girl is highly attached to her parents and as innocent as you describe, she will be devastated by their disapproval of you, the cold silences at dinner, their forbidding her to see you, their disappointment in her if she continues. Their complete dislike and disapproval of you may end up poisoning the relationship between you and this girl.
And that is entirely in your control. Right now you are choosing to behave deceptively, like a criminal. You could choose not to. If there is nothing wrong with what you are doing (as you claim), why hide it?
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Although, like I said, I have no intentions whatsoever, of "getting physical" with her. If I were to find out she were underage, and that she was not truthful with me, no harm done, b/c no physical intimacy = no possibility of being arrested, right? 
At least, that's what I had thought? I mean, I can't go to jail, for just talkng to her right?
