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You know, I believe I'm going to go back to my counselor for a tune-up. Obviously, I have some issues that I still need to overcome. You know, this irratates me because I have to spend my hard earned money and my precious time to see a counselor when if my H hadn't done what he did, I wouldn't have to bothered with this. Yes, I love him - very, very much, but do I have resentment - absolutely! And, frankly, I can't seem to get beyond that, even after 2 years My husband is happy go lucky, not a care in the world - he had the A and still was able to hold on to me. Doesn't seem fair and I guess that's where the resentment comes in.
You know, I believe I'm going to go back to my counselor for a tune-up. Obviously, I have some issues that I still need to overcome. You know, this irratates me because I have to spend my hard earned money and my precious time to see a counselor when if my H hadn't done what he did, I wouldn't have to bothered with this. Yes, I love him - very, very much, but do I have resentment - absolutely! And, frankly, I can't seem to get beyond that, even after 2 years My husband is happy go lucky, not a care in the world - he had the A and still was able to hold on to me. Doesn't seem fair and I guess that's where the resentment comes in.
Sounds like the Cake and Eat it too syndrome. You will never forget, but will you truley ever forgive, and will he ever be able to earn your trust? If the answer is no then its time to make yourself happy again, if Yes, then you need to move forward with your relationship.
Sounds like the Cake and Eat it too syndrome. You will never forget, but will you truley ever forgive, and will he ever be able to earn your trust? If the answer is no then its time to make yourself happy again, if Yes, then you need to move forward with your relationship.
I know! I love my husband, truely, I do, but I'm not sure that he'll ever be able to make up for what he did to me. I've never, ever, EVER, been hurt as much as the man I love with all my heart hurt me. And for that, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to really have a whole relationship with him which makes me very sad. I want to be with him yet I don't want to grow older and look back and feel as though I made a mistake. It's all very confusing!
[quote][/QUOQuestion: How can you love him so much and yet say that you initially knew you shouldn't have married him??? Seems a bit of a paradox thereTE]
Very long story. Red flags before we got married were: He was on the internet talking to many women, who shared porn, dispicable photos were shared between them. My son, at the time 12 years old, found them in his computer so my son was exposed to them. He apologized and said that he had trashed them but didn't delete his trash and that's how they were found. He profusely apologized. Another instance was a customer faxed to him a photo of a model in a very skimpy swimsuit and wanted him to fax it back to make sure the fax machines were working. My husband wrote on it, "I'll name her ******" and faxed it back. Well, the name he gave her was my daughter's name who was 15 at the time. He didn't show me this, I found it. And then there was the finances, he seemed to be grossly in debt yet wined and dined me like crazy. Of course, I was swept off my feet and over. I overlooked all the above stuff thinking it was boys will be boys. And, of course there were lies - telling me he went to college when later I found out he didn't. Anyway, those are a few things.
[/QUOQuestion: How can you love him so much and yet say that you initially knew you shouldn't have married him??? Seems a bit of a paradox thereTE]
Very long story. Red flags before we got married were: He was on the internet talking to many women, who shared porn, dispicable photos were shared between them. My son, at the time 12 years old, found them in his computer so my son was exposed to them. He apologized and said that he had trashed them but didn't delete his trash and that's how they were found. He profusely apologized. Another instance was a customer faxed to him a photo of a model in a very skimpy swimsuit and wanted him to fax it back to make sure the fax machines were working. My husband wrote on it, "I'll name her ******" and faxed it back. Well, the name he gave her was my daughter's name who was 15 at the time. He didn't show me this, I found it. And then there was the finances, he seemed to be grossly in debt yet wined and dined me like crazy. Of course, I was swept off my feet and over. I overlooked all the above stuff thinking it was boys will be boys. And, of course there were lies - telling me he went to college when later I found out he didn't. Anyway, those are a few things.
Hope this answers your question.
More than answered it actually. Probably would have been red flags enough to not do it..... Confused as to what you love about him now... I'm a bit of an internet "dawg" myself, but not to this extent.
Wanting to name a hot girl in a photo being faxed between himself and a customer the same name as your daughter would have scared the living **** out of me........
The guy sounds sexually mal-adjusted to the point where it's plain out of control. Even a semi-perv like myself can see that.
[QUOTEHas this activity been curtailed at least???][/quote]
Oh yes, he definately has curtailed it. Soon after his affair, I discovered a porn CD, and became furious. He told me that he was a red blooded man and he didn't have a hang up on porn and if I did, well that was my problem. But I think he's at least respected my wishes and doesn't watch it anymore. We don't have the internet in my home, I refuse to have it so I know he's not browsing.
Anyway, I want to believe the good in him because I believe he is genuinely a good person, but I think he some issues. There is so much to share, but let me sum it up by saying he tries to appear to be something he isn't, maybe he just has some self-esteem issues. I dunno, I think sometimes he really lives in a fantacy world.
Anyway, I want to believe the good in him because I believe he is genuinely a good person, but I think he some issues. There is so much to share, but let me sum it up by saying he tries to appear to be something he isn't, maybe he just has some self-esteem issues. I dunno, I think sometimes he really lives in a fantacy world.
Forgive me for sounding harsh, but he doesn't sound like a good person. He sounds like an irresponsible liar and cheater who is disrespectful to you and your family. And the thing about the picture and your 15-year-old daughter? Pure, unadulterated, creepiness.
Looking at the porn is one thing but naming that picture is a bad sign at the least, and the lying about college is a bad sign, you may be right that he lives in a fantacy world or dreams of it. Does he work? Maybe you could get him to go see someone and both of you could get to the bottom of what he's thinking. If he is thinking in a unrealistic way you better keep an eye on him incase he decides to try what he is thinking. Hats off to you for putting up a good effort on fixing your relationship, I wish the best for you.
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My husband is happy go lucky, not a care in the world - he had the A and still was able to hold on to me. Doesn't seem fair and I guess that's where the resentment comes in.
Decision time..........
