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If a couple doesn't enjoy spending time together, then the marriage is pretty empty, IMO. It may work as a business arrangement, but not much more. Yes, growing as individuals is important, but so is growing together.
I agree...My husband and I were best friends and close for over 24 years...It's been rough for me since he passed away. Spouses who have "separatist" marriages probably fare a little better when they become widowed because they are used to "going it alone" and having a separate life! Not sure!
I think this is a given, that many long-term marriages are miserable. My parents were married 44 years and hated each other for many years. Longevity has little corrolation to happiness in marriage.
I think this is a given, that many long-term marriages are miserable. My parents were married 44 years and hated each other for many years. Longevity has little corrolation to happiness in marriage.
My parents were married for a long before my dad passed away..My mom thinks she did us a favor by staying married to him..She thinks only real woman put up with their husband *****.. She will tell her granddaughters a husband can do what he wants and we as woman should just accept it, she saying something like men will always cheat, they will go with whores and keep the good woman at home?? I told her several times she did us no favor by staying married to my dad..we had to witness the fighting matches, yes my dad mellowed out when he got older and we were no longer in the house, But I would never put my kids thru that. Of course we did have happy times but they still didnt out weight the bad times. I love my mom and respect her for taking care of us..but it comes to a different issue when she wants me to agree, it was good we were all together and we had the same mom and dad in the house. It took me as an adult to forgive both of them.
I'm not sure marriage should just be about 'happiness'....perhaps the main factor should be 'commitment'. I look back at my own two divorces decades ago and really see how all I focused on was the fact that I was unhappy. I caused undo hardships for the kids involved in my determination to be free and do what I wanted to do. It all worked out okay, but if I had to do it all over again, I would look at it through another angle first.
A big-time APPLAUD/STANDING OVATION to your man!! I just wish MORE men and women could see to do this! I don't care what anyone says, staying in an unhappy marriage is totally bad for the children!!
How about them moving back and forth between unhappy divorced parents? Isn't that bad too?
My parents were married for a long before my dad passed away..My mom thinks she did us a favor by staying married to him..She thinks only real woman put up with their husband *****.. She will tell her granddaughters a husband can do what he wants and we as woman should just accept it, she saying something like men will always cheat, they will go with whores and keep the good woman at home?? I told her several times she did us no favor by staying married to my dad..we had to witness the fighting matches, yes my dad mellowed out when he got older and we were no longer in the house, But I would never put my kids thru that. Of course we did have happy times but they still didnt out weight the bad times. I love my mom and respect her for taking care of us..but it comes to a different issue when she wants me to agree, it was good we were all together and we had the same mom and dad in the house. It took me as an adult to forgive both of them.
I agree with you..I told my mom that several times..not all men cheat..but no one should put up with a cheating spouse..I think most men are great their are men and women who respect their marriage. My mom has this belief men all men cheat?? I dont agree with her.
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