Need Advice!! In Texas and in love with a Muslim whose wife from arranged marriage is in the Middle East (dating, how to)
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I'm a 34 year old divorced white female. I've been dating a Muslim man for a while now and am totally in love with him. I honestly feel like he is my soul mate and he feels the same. The emotions, and everything else for that matter, that I feel with him are different than anything I have experienced in past relationships. I'm not someone who dates or goes out looking for males. In fact, I'm the opposite. When I met him I felt that I'd known him my entire life. I swore to myself that I would never marry again after my divorce from my daughter's dad 10 years ago but if he were to have asked me to marry him the week we met, I would have said yes.
The problem.... He was forced by his family to marry a cousin back in the Middle East. They had 2 kids. He brought his wife and kids to the US for a better life. She left him with the kids and went back home to her dad. His parents, out of guilt for chosing a bad wife, moved here to the US to help him with the kids. So.... he is married and he is supporting his parents and kids. He can't tell his parents about me because apparently, he is not only married to his wife, but his family is married to hers. It's tearing us both apart. He spends more time at my house than his and lies to his parents about where he is. I know that he loves me. His situation is very difficult. We want to marry but don't know how to go about it without hurting and pissing off alot of people in the process. I spend time with his brother and cousin but his parents are a different story. They don't speak English and are not Westernized like the younger generation. His father has heart problems and will more than likely not be around much longer.
We both want to marry. We are sexually active off and on but it eats at us because we both believe in sex after marriage. Is marriage an option for us?? What are our options? Is an arranged marriage really a marriage? If so, is it a legal marriage in the US? Could we marry without his parents having knowledge of it, and if so, how? We don't want to hurt anyone in this process but we are slowly dying inside.
Any CONSTRUCTIVE advice from those more knowledgable than myself in this area would be very much appreciated.
If you have a smartass remark to make about my decision to date a Muslim, save yourself the time. I've heard it! I know what love is now and it has no cultural boundries.
Let me see. Is there anyway since the wife left him in the US with the kids that he can get a divorce from her? I'm not familiar with Muslim's traditions so I'm not quite sure what to say.
Maybe someone here that is familiar with Muslim will come and give you advice. Good luck!
The only two options is to be honest with his family and damn the consequences or to live a lie.
I'm not understanding why you want to legally marry him, when he won't and/or can't openly call you his wife? He probably couldn't live with you full time either. He will in effect be living a double life and will never be 100% yours until he is willing to stand up to his entire family and end his previous marriage to be with you.
Lets see if I understand this--You already had a real bad dose of marriage. It was so bad that you darn near swore off marriage completely.Yet, when you do decide to try it again, you choose an international,interreligious set of circumstances in which to try it? With a man that is already married? And has kids? Well! I guess some people just have to feel the fire before they realize its hot! Good luck though.
Sounds fishy for several reasons...She abandoned him, he can legally divorce here in the united states,if he is legal, right? probably lots of red tape to have her served, or maybe he doesn't know her where abouts...still can be divorced, as far as keeping the faith, if he remarries that won't(not sure) be keeping it?
Second reason, is I had a friend dating a man from overseas...he gave her the exact same story, sob story if you will, come to find out which she did by answering his phone at 2 am and his wife on the other line...
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