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The reason you have low self esteem is because you are being an unpaid whjore and you know it.
Why don't you move out and make a decent life for yourself. Maybe even find a man who has enough respect for you to wait until you get married to have sex (novel thought, I know).
By staying in this relationship, you are teaching your son that this is how you treat a woman. Do you REALLY want him learning this kind of lesson?
20yrsinBranson
1. Is it the unpaid or whjore that bothers you more?
2. I don't believe until getting married until I have known a guy at LEAST two years. I don't need anyone to respect me THAT much. Honestly, I would think there was something seriously wrong with the guy.
But I have enough respect for myself, that getting other people to is not really an issue.
I re-read the OP and can say this: LISTEN to how HE defines it. A relationship is what the lowest-commitment partner brings in.
If you hope to change his definition, i.e. make him love you, - you must know by now you can't force love. On the intuition level, you must know that he IS capable of love and will be eager to please a person he loves. You are just not that person.
Yeah. I mean, she seems to be somewhat ok with their little arrangement, so I guess ... I don't know, what can we do? But she asked for the advice, this is what I got. And if she's looking to change his mind about how they live together, I don't think that's gonna happen. He's very satisfied with how it is now: she's committed to him and he's not committed to her. It's a one-way street. If she's ok with that (sad), and she just wants to know how to define the "relationship", I'm gonna say it's a living arrangement. No more no less, accept for the fact that one person is getting what they want and the other is being used and not given what they want. That's a totally different factor.
This is a fine example of the abusive relationships I've ranted over in the past. women who simply accept that they're nothing but a punching bag or a f*ck toy and allow themselves to be treated like worthless animals because "I love him". Listen, darling, I'll be as nice as I can, but I assure you that my answer to your problems is gonna be harsh, but it's the real deal.
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We can only go by what the OP has written, but I don't see how this is an abusive relationship. She asked him where he stood in terms of their relationship, and he answered honestly and openly, by both his words and his actions. That she only decided to discuss their relationship after they shacked up is her problem, not his. This guy did nothing wrong.
If she is old enough to be divorced and have a child, she is old enough to look after her own interests to the same degree that she looks after his. Yes he is a taker, but takers need a giver. She gave it all up and only wondered "what's in this for me" when it was far too late.
Look I can find hundreds of men willing to sleep with me everyday, eat my cooking, and accept my love without offering me anything in return. I choose to not get involved with men like this. It is up to OP to make some choices for herself and for her son.
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