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Well, in a way, you are manipulating him. You say he is not mature enough for you to have sex with. So, you are in effect using sex to control his behavior. You will probably become the type of wife that uses sex as a weapon too and withhold it when you are angry.
Honestly, I don't see the big deal about losing your virginity. If it is for religious reasons, and you want to wait until marriage, I can understand that. Then all of this is moot because you would be marrying someone with the same standards anyway.
Other than that, what is the big deal? Are you waiting for THE ONE? If so, it doesn't sound like this guy is THE ONE. It sounds like you are trying to make him into something he isn't, and you are both trying to make it work because you have all this time invested in it.
I think you have built sex up to be this big huge deal in your head and that is why you are waiting for that special someone, that special moment. Then you will find that it really ISN'T that big of a deal. Maybe you are afraid and using excuses to hold off. Either way, I would cut this guy loose. It obviously isn't working out.
I hate myself!!! He asked me what I expect him to do, I said, I just want us to stay together, and LET THINGS HAPPEN NATURALLY. I said, you can go to work during the day, but whenever you are free, come see me. I said you are not allowed to see other girls and you are not allowed to have sex with other girls, but you can spend time with your coworkers. He said, he doesn't know if he can do that or not. He said if I really want him to do that, he needs a week to recover, and he told me he can't promise what would happen during the week. What should I do-_-
You need to stop being scared and just end this thing.
I hate myself!!! He asked me what I expect him to do, I said, I just want us to stay together, and LET THINGS HAPPEN NATURALLY. I said, you can go to work during the day, but whenever you are free, come see me. I said you are not allowed to see other girls and you are not allowed to have sex with other girls, but you can spend time with your coworkers. He said, he doesn't know if he can do that or not. He said if I really want him to do that, he needs a week to recover, and he told me he can't promise what would happen during the week. What should I do-_-
OK. This will probably be the last time I try to help you because it's like I'm trying to communicate to a brick wall.
Tell him you're breaking up with him. Delete his email address, delete his phone number from your phone, delete all texts/messages he may have sent or left you, stay away from him. If that means staying out of the city then do so. Stop thinking about him and move on with your life. He's playing you, while you're hurting yourself and your self esteem.
Basically, erase all contact from him. You'll get over him in time if he means that much to you. He's not reciprocating the same love back, which is one of the biggest red flags that a relationship is over. He wants what's between your legs and nothing more. Go find a better fish because this one is rotten.
OK. This will probably be the last time I try to help you because it's like I'm trying to communicate to a brick wall.
Tell him you're breaking up with him. Delete his email address, delete his phone number from your phone, delete all texts/messages he may have sent or left you, stay away from him. If that means staying out of the city then do so. Stop thinking about him and move on with your life. He's playing you, while you're hurting yourself and your self esteem.
Basically, erase all contact from him. You'll get over him in time if he means that much to you. He's not reciprocating the same love back, which is one of the biggest red flags that a relationship is over. He wants what's between your legs and nothing more. Go find a better fish because this one is rotten.
If you DO follow through with this, and break all communication with him, yes you will still feel hurt. At this point you're emotionally attached to him and it will take some time to get over it. It's worth it in the end because you will have an idea of what red flags to look out for while just dating people, so before you get attached, you'll be able to end it sooner.
Think of it this way. This guy is keeping you from finding your special guy and wasting your time with his controlling. Get over him girl and get out there again. That "special" man is waiting for you and you will be glad you waited for him.
If you DO follow through with this, and break all communication with him, yes you will still feel hurt. At this point you're emotionally attached to him and it will take some time to get over it. It's worth it in the end because you will have an idea of what red flags to look out for while just dating people, so before you get attached, you'll be able to end it sooner.
Yeah it's very hard right now, I've been controlling myself no to contact him.
Honey, I would insist he get an AIDS check before any sex with him anyway. Just how many sex partners has he had---has he been forthcoming on his sexual history or are you just suppose to guess?
When I started dating my hubby I told him to get the AIDS check since his ex wife cheated on him. Cheaters usually have multiply sex partners, maybe not her but the one she cheated with, and maybe others who may have been involved down the line with him. Like they say you are having sex with all the sex partners in the past if they had an STD to pass along. Sad but true.
I was a virgin also and he was thoughful and put my needs before his. I say dump this controller and find yourself a REAL man who does love you and puts you first.
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