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I do believe with all my heart romantic love can endure a lifetime. But it takes much care and devotion. If you neglect it, or take it for granted it will wither away like a plant without any sun or water.
That's some great insight! Devotion tends to be a big problem because people seem to lose motivation so quickly.
Geez, falling out of love just never happened to me... the "newbie" sexual attraction faded but in its place was the discoveries of new things in and out of the bedroom... exiting discoveries and I felt I was falling deeper in love every year... the last 3 years of my marriage were like a nightmare and no matter what I tried or how I changed it got worse... my ex started an affair w/ a co-worker and I am still trying to wash away the urge to know "why"... no guys... sex was always there and like I said before, I tried new and exciting things all the time but I was pushed away...
It is him... he was just a cheater... I gave him no reasons... I am not a nagger and I'm not a bad "looker" LOL... I never want him back but still wonder what made HIM fall out of love or did he really love me to begin with??
I am so very happy with my single life now and if he came back I would not want him back into my life... I've learned that there are somethings I will never know and I believe it is all for the best because I couldn't be happier but great question about how he fell out of love... he had just turned 50 and of course most people blame it on that... come on.. don't give him any excuses now LOL
People fall out of love because they based their interest on said partner on the dopamine high that comfortable (usually initial) circumstances provided. When said dopamine high leaves and the real world circumstances of daily drudgery ensue, seeing that person's mug in the morning all of a sudden is not good enough reason to stay. Fickle if you ask me, but that's the jist of it.
One of the previous posters pointed at children and the drudgery of daily life and child-focused idiosyncracies makes people fall out of love. I thought all the points were valid. However, it seems like a much simpler problem to solve. DOWNGRADE YOUR KIDS EXPECTATIONS. I know, I said it :X.
Do not place THAT much emphasis on the children. Make time for the couple. I don't believe for one second it has to be THAT consuming. Even if the child is special needs. Don't neglect the kids. But don't destroy your life relationship over it, unless the other partner wants to literally abandon the child, at which point the relationship is hosed.
Aside from child neglect circumstances, people generally choose to make it [child rearing] that consuming. Granted, it's a time consuming affair, but if it's THAT time consuming I'm sorry, you failed at life. If you have to forego the health of your interpersonal relationship in order to crank out a future productive member of society, that is the most self-defeating approach to life I've ever encountered. I fully believe a lot of people (women in particular) USE children in order to avoid their spouse, since hiding behind the validation of overspending time and effort on children will never be viewed pejoratively by society. Look, the kids will be alright. I spent some years on daycare, I turned out alright. Honestly, people need to focus on the sexual and emotional health of their relationship, or forego the children if they're incapable of achieving that balance when the two are present and in need.
Hey, I actually agree with you!
In my opinion, the marriage needs to come first. Kids need to learn the family does not revolve around them. They are a part of it, but not the center. How can you keep a healthy, happy family if the most important part, the marriage, is neglected?
We live in a drive through world.
A life long commitment.. whether by marriage or not.. is a nobel intention and a tough row to hoe. People don't want to fight for their relationships. They start taking the other for granted..they stop flirting. They cease to put the others happiness above their own.They give up too easily.
Love is a choice.
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Falling Out of Love
