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Background: A few days ago a girl text me to go out. I had left my phone at work, so it took me close to a day to respond. After a half of a day, she text again, "I guess that means no" because it looked like I blew her off. So when I got my phone, I replied back saying I was sorry for ignoring her, I forgot my phone and that I wanted to go out. Then she said something like she didn't think I was ignoring her and that she doesn't text on demand either. Then I said I like to get back to people within a couple hours.
I've heard several women say that they don't text on demand and get back to people when they feel like it. I call a bit of BS on this. It seems that they are like everyone else, who wonders if they have been blown off if someone takes a day to get back to them. But then they want to feel like they can avoid others without having to say anything, like they need space. or are really looking to see if other plans will pan out.
I think that if you make a conscious decision to avoid someone, then you are being passive aggressive. You're trying to say something, by your avoidance, rather than confronting someone directly. Obviously, people can have really busy days, or they are dealing with a stalkerish person. I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about plain old avoidance of friendly text/calls/emails. So then I wonder how to approach these avoiders. They seem to want to keep me in their life, but I feel like I have to downgrade them. Like they should get back only what they give.
GAMES......nothing more nothing less....sounds like you are a back up plan. All women have them. What they do seems to bother you. It shouldnt.
I am not a pet. I don't have a leash/tether. The cell phone is in the car - it works for emergencies or when I need to alert my husband that I'm running late so he doesn't worry. It is for MY convenience. Don't bother calling it, you could wait WEEKS for a reply. I never check incoming messages as I don't give out my cell number unless it's someone I can trust to speak to me in a way I can understand them.
Texting is blocked. Don't bother sending, I won't even get it.
If you REALLY want to talk with/to me, you can make plans when we see each other. OR, better yet, send me an e-mail. I promise to reply within 24 hours unless we're away - again.
The only reliable way to reach me is mail. Sometimes you might get lucky and I'm actually sitting at the computer and you can send an IM - mostly I'm not here but the computer is left on while I do whatever.
You younguns who want a contact within a few hours - what are you, jailers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24
In this day and age, with everyone having a smart phone in hand, people assume that when they text you, you will be able to give them an immediate response. If you do not, they assume you do not want to respond, and never consider you may be busy or, amazingly, not grasping your phone in anticipation of receiving text messages!
The girl needs to relax, and realize that you have a life to live and that may not always include being on call to text messages.
EVERYONE??? has a smart phone? Maybe in your circle of friends, but NOT everyone does. In fact, honestly, I don't even know what one is. Don't explain because I really don't care. SOME friends of mine do, but mostly they need it for business and would prefer not to be "on demand" by everyone.
[quote=PHENOM5;20388425]i'm still using an original "RAZR" phone....and i really don't want to upgrade to anything more complicated...it's all about simplicity in this ever advancing word of BS....so if someone does text me, it takes an incredible amount of effort to actually type a text back to them on my dinosaur of a phone....heck, if i had the option i would still be using a phone called the STAR-TAC......but those are completely obsolete now...so please "DON'T TEXT ME BRO !"[/quote]
[quote=NY Annie;20388577]I am not a pet. I don't have a leash/tether. The cell phone is in the car - it works for emergencies or when I need to alert my husband that I'm running late so he doesn't worry. It is for MY convenience. Don't bother calling it, you could wait WEEKS for a reply. I never check incoming messages as I don't give out my cell number unless it's someone I can trust to speak to me in a way I can understand them.
Texting is blocked. Don't bother sending, I won't even get it.
If you REALLY want to talk with/to me, you can make plans when we see each other. OR, better yet, send me an e-mail. I promise to reply within 24 hours unless we're away - again.
The only reliable way to reach me is mail. Sometimes you might get lucky and I'm actually sitting at the computer and you can send an IM - mostly I'm not here but the computer is left on while I do whatever.
You younguns who want a contact within a few hours - what are you, jailers?
EVERYONE??? has a smart phone? Maybe in your circle of friends, but NOT everyone does. In fact, honestly, I don't even know what one is. Don't explain because I really don't care. SOME friends of mine do, but mostly they need it for business and would prefer not to be "on demand" by everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PHENOM5
i'm still using an original "RAZR" phone....and i really don't want to upgrade to anything more complicated...it's all about simplicity in this ever advancing word of BS....so if someone does text me, it takes an incredible amount of effort to actually type a text back to them on my dinosaur of a phone....heck, if i had the option i would still be using a phone called the STAR-TAC......but those are completely obsolete now...so please "DON'T TEXT ME BRO !"[/quote]
I am not a pet. I don't have a leash/tether. The cell phone is in the car - it works for emergencies or when I need to alert my husband that I'm running late so he doesn't worry. It is for MY convenience. Don't bother calling it, you could wait WEEKS for a reply. I never check incoming messages as I don't give out my cell number unless it's someone I can trust to speak to me in a way I can understand them.
Texting is blocked. Don't bother sending, I won't even get it.
If you REALLY want to talk with/to me, you can make plans when we see each other. OR, better yet, send me an e-mail. I promise to reply within 24 hours unless we're away - again.
The only reliable way to reach me is mail. Sometimes you might get lucky and I'm actually sitting at the computer and you can send an IM - mostly I'm not here but the computer is left on while I do whatever.
You younguns who want a contact within a few hours - what are you, jailers?
Continuing the modes of communications that are normal for you is not ignoring people. Everyone you know, should know not to call/text your cell.
Refer to the title of the thread. It says "ON PURPOSE" So if you were not sick, were not out of town, read the email, but decided to not write back to an invitation for a week or ever, because you just didn't feel like it, would be what I am referring to.
I agree. I think a big downside of texting is that many people have become so used to the instant gratification. People used to send letters and have to wait for the mail. Oh, the agony. And then there was the telephone and you could pick up the phone whenever ... but sometimes they weren't home. Or you'd get the answering machine. Now everybody expects you to have your cell on you at all times and therefore have no excuse not to respond immediately. They go overboard with that expectation, as if taking a few hours to respond means that you blew them off, when perhaps you just set your phone down and walked away for a while.
No kidding. If you call me and I don't call you back...I'm BUSY, or I haven't checked my phone. I don't keep it with me every single minute of the day. Good grief.
yeah that's so true and i text for that very reason. it's to make plans and keep in touch minimally. i don't like to chat on the phone, so i text. but conversions are for in person.
This is a good thread because not replying to text/emails is kind of a pet-peeve of mine, but then again I'm not a very patient person. I do take into consideration their work schedule or something else might be going on that keeps them busy, or maybe they just forgot that it was their turn to reply. But what peeves me is when they take an excessively long time when you know for sure that they have plenty of oppurtunities to reply. It just shows that I am low priority for them so its time for me to bump them down my priority list.
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