Why acting aloof doesn't work (dating, married, women, single)

[WakaFlocka]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Okay... So you don't like shy people... That's fine. But if it's her loss - why did you start a thread about it? Are you trying to warn people not to be shy? There is someone out there for everyone. It doesn't sound like you guys would have been a good match anyway - maybe nobody really lost out in this situation.

The topic isn't about shyness. It's about aloofness.

[the minx]

What a one sided story. Perhaps she thought that you were talking to everyone else and ignoring her? I don't understand why people never slip on someone else's shoes.

I have a friend who does this and it makes me crazy. She says "if he wants to talk to me, he will," and I have to remind her that he might be thinking the same thing. So stupid.

[WakaFlocka]

Originally Posted by spinx

What a one sided story. Perhaps she thought that you were talking to everyone else and ignoring her? I don't understand why people never slip on someone else's shoes.

I have a friend who does this and it makes me crazy. She says "if he wants to talk to me, he will," and I have to remind her that he might be thinking the same thing. So stupid.

I kept to myself for the most part. I didn't treat her any differently.

[SeaOfGrass]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

I kept to myself for the most part. I didn't treat her any differently.

Sounds like you were acting aloof.

[WakaFlocka]

Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass

Sounds like you were acting aloof.

I wasn't the one with the crush, though.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

I wasn't the one with the crush, though.

You're the one still remembering it and posting a thread, though!

[SeaOfGrass]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

I wasn't the one with the crush, though.

Yes...

(I kind of suspected the joke wouldn't go over very well. )

[lilamx]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

I'm not angry. It is her loss. Shyness isn't an excuse.

You're saying you're not angry, but you keep saying it's "her loss". Were you also crushing on her? Are you upset you missed out on a chance to date her because of her "aloofness"? If you were indifferent, you wouldn't care.

[stepka]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

The topic isn't about shyness. It's about aloofness.

You started it about aloofness and everyone here is trying to tell you that maybe she wasn't aloof at all, but shy. That would be my bet too--I have a quietly outgoing kind of personality but when I get a crush on a man, I clam up and can't even look him in the eye. It's completely involuntary. So why do you assume that she's shutting you out on purpose? If you liked her, you ought to be calling her right now but if you're that intolerant of people's personality traits then I agree with Dewdrop who said you guys would be a poor match.

[Dewdrop93]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

The topic isn't about shyness. It's about aloofness.

Originally Posted by spinx

What a one sided story. Perhaps she thought that you were talking to everyone else and ignoring her? I don't understand why people never slip on someone else's shoes.

I have a friend who does this and it makes me crazy. She says "if he wants to talk to me, he will," and I have to remind her that he might be thinking the same thing. So stupid.

I think my point and the point of spinx - is that you have no idea if she was shy, aloof, stuck up, etc. And just because you had no interest in her - it doesn't mean that someone else won't feel differently. You have interpreted her behavior as meaning that she was acting aloof - and that you wrote her off as being stuck up. That is your interpretation. To me - it seems like maybe she is just really shy. And once again - it sounds like the two of you would not have made a good match anyway - so maybe nobody lost out at all.