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He/she already earned the alimony, in my opinion. Alimony is like a dividend payment for the investment they made in a future that will not be realized due to divorce.
Why is it like a dividend payment? He hopefully kept up the house while they were married and when the marriage was dissolved they sold the home and he got half. That investment is sold. We don't continue to collect dividends once sold. Again, that's not to say support shouldn't be given for retraining. And I'm confused because you said that have joint custody, but he's too old for retraining? Something isn't adding up here. How old are they?
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My sister earned a high salary and worked long hard hours for it. She never would have been able to advance in her career the way she did if she didn't have the advantage of a house-husband who was her biggest supporter and at home taking care of their child while she worked 60-70 hour weeks.
Following a divorce, the working spouse can continue to work and advance their career without skipping a beat. For the non-working spouse it's just not that easy, especially if they have custody.
I agree with that. As I mentioned above, I don't see how he can be too old to retrain if child support is still warranted. Further, I agree that supplementing income is a good idea, but he should definitely work when that kid is not in the house. If he's not caring for the child, it's pretty ridiculous for him not to be working.
I'll tell you a funny story, some guys I was hanging out with were talking about the chilly environment in corporate America where you can't flirt with a woman without worrying about harassment lawsuits and restraining orders. I asked the older guys whether it was like that back in the 60s. They said, "no, back then, the women were more worried if they weren't getting that kind of attention."
In the work place people should be working. There's a difference between being friendly in the work place and full out flirting. It's inappropriate and expecting appropriate behavior is not misandry.
We could have this in our face 24 hours a day and yet more and more are opting to stay single. I guess some things just can't be explained.
It's not that hard to explain. Women no longer need men for financial survival. That will naturally change the dynamics of marriage. The alimony conversations in this thread may highlight why we're seeing a trend for higher rates of marriage between the educated, and subsequent higher earners.
You're talking to the men here now? Or the ones who were around 60 years ago?
I think you've made some valid points on the historical perspective. But I don't think I've committed or witnessed these acts of suppression in my own experience. So I'm not sure whom you're addressing here.
I wouldn't say men are a gender of victims. At the same time, there is the view that there have been some negative consequences of feminism, for example, some people perceive an increase in misandry (perhaps in the workplace, in the legal system, in the media, in male/female relations in general, etc.). Misandry, like misogyny, is a choice, and if acts of misogyny in the past are used to justify increased misandry in the present, then I'm not sure I'd agree with that justification.
Simply read the posts and comments I was addressing and it will be clearer to you. Out of context your slice of my quote would look off, but put it back in place and read some of these comments over the years in here and just three of many I could have quoted in here on the aspects of what 'feminism' is and how it developed would be clearer.
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Originally Posted by West of Encino
No one shouldn't have to pay alimony. But because of feminism, men have to pay alimony and give up half his stuff in a divorce settlement.
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Originally Posted by Alanboy395
I thought feminism was supposed to eliminate this alimony stuff? Wasn't the point to getting women to work so they wouldn't have to rely on the men? Can anyone provide me an example of a feminist fighting AGAINST alimony because apparently women don't need it since they want to work for themselves?
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Originally Posted by NotARedneck
Women got a dose of reality and back peddled fast on that one. They want to work, but only as long as it is fun.
Men have always known that it wasn't and just resigned themselves to the drudgery. They dream of a big lottery win, but that's about it. If a women can snag the right man, it can be as good as the lottery!
.......I want the whole enchilada. "Nearly all" just isn't good enough.
It's a valid concern........How do YOU feel about the disparity?
I didn't mind having more education and earning more than my first husband but it bothered him a lot and it caused problems.
I remarried a man with no formal education but he earns 2 or 3 times what I do....
Theres what you want and what you get...
As I said I don't care, I have a significant body of achievement on my own and I have my strengths. lol And weaknesses. I'm not concerned for myself, I can carry my end of the log. And yes, her earnings are a fraction of mine.
Sad times for Americans... Thank God this **** doesn't happen in my country... I can't imagine how it's like to grow up without 1 parent or to have friends that are bastards.
Hah, what country do you live in where you can provide irrefutable evidence that nobody has ever been born out of wedlock?
Sad times for Americans... Thank God this **** doesn't happen in my country... I can't imagine how it's like to grow up without 1 parent or to have friends that are bastards.
Really, bastards? Well, thank heavens you don't have to deal with having bastard friends. You have enough on your plate already.
Like it or not- nature has designed that the sexes NEED each other. Even in today's modern times it is tougher for women to earn as much due to child birth, child care, etc. We are seeing signs that society is moving toward the center (slooowly) with more men caring for children and more women working at equal paying jobs- but we are no where near a level playing field on either side.
The comments here are incredibly sad.
It's is not fair for either side when a breakup happens. Most women with kids have double the work load and end up close to poverty. Most men end up contributing to two households and not seeing their kids enough.
Wouldn't it make more sense to put all the enegy into MAKING YOUR PARTNER HAPPY instead of whining when it's over? Part of making a relationship work is seeing things from the other person's veiwpoint.
From posts here it is obvious that a lot of people only see how things benefit themselves.
Like it or not- nature has designed that the sexes NEED each other. Even in today's modern times it is tougher for women to earn as much due to child birth, child care, etc. We are seeing signs that society is moving toward the center (slooowly) with more men caring for children and more women working at equal paying jobs- but we are no where near a level playing field on either side.
The comments here are incredibly sad.
It's is not fair for either side when a breakup happens. Most women with kids have double the work load and end up close to poverty. Most men end up contributing to two households and not seeing their kids enough.
Wouldn't it make more sense to put all the enegy into MAKING YOUR PARTNER HAPPY instead of whining when it's over? Part of making a relationship work is seeing things from the other person's veiwpoint.
From posts here it is obvious that a lot of people only see how things benefit themselves.
As long as government is willing to step in, women don't directly NEED men anymore. Otherwise we wouldn't have so many single mothers these days.
Of course one could argue that government intervention is paid in part by male tax payers. (the other part being female taxpayers of course)
For once, I agree with feminists. I actually don't want society to pressure me to get married and work hard while my wife stays at home. I like that I can choose to opt out of marriage without society giving me a hard time. I like that women can earn their own money, own property, determine their own lives. Now, if feminists would stop arguing for "extra rights" and against certain male equality goals, I could support them in other areas.
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Yeah, men are strange creatures, alright.
